Okay, so we're down to 9

. . . and at least the show has been cut back to an hour and a half. Just in time for a new Christian Slater show to debut afterwards. Speaking of Christian Slater, I saw Heathers the other day on TV. It was just as good today as it was twenty three years ago when he, Winona Ryder, Shannen Doherty and Lieutenant Bud Roberts were all young and stuff. The only thing bad about the movie is the hairdoos.

Let's just hope they keep the show moving tonight.

Tonight's theme (blech!) is the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. Outfitting them is former only-here-for-the-paycheck "mentor" Gwen Stefani and helping out with the singers is will.i.am, who must have lost his ticket home from when he was on a couple of weeks ago.

Leading off is Jacob. He switched his song and is singing some Michael Jackson. I think this is a good move; this song fits his voice perfectly. Going first might cause some problems, especially since I don't think there are a lot of people burning up phone lines and texting for an effeminate black man who can belt out showtunes with the best of them. Still, I think his vocals were spot on; he has a lot of control and doesn't lose the melody like some of the others who are still around (Haley, I'm talking to you!).

This is a much better theme than Elton John or Motown. It gives the singers a deep songbook to pick from (assuming Idol gave them free range to choose). Unfortunately, it also means that many of the songs will be pretty old.

Next up is Haley and she's singing a song that should be retired from the Idol songbook. Apparently she thinks the judges want her to be more like Janis Joplin, which is a mistake since that's like telling a guitarist that they should be more like Eric Clapton, and anyone who tries will only be a pale imitation. I think she should be more like Lindsey Cardinale (watching from home). The judges slurp her. It wasn't as awful as I thought it was going to be, but it wasn't as good as the crowd thought. Plus, she still annoys me. Even with frizzy hair.

Wrapping up the first third of the show is Casey who also changed his song midstream. He goes old school and brings out his stand-up bass. I like it, and I don't usually thing he's all that and a side of chips. He's smiling too much for what is supposed to be a fairly maudlin song, and he gets a little shouty at the end.

Lauren could be making a huge mistake by singing Aretha (who is loosely associated with rule #1 to the right). She's sixteen, right? Why is she dressed like she's 23? My friend Mike is feeling dirty right now. It wasn't awful, and she's good a pretty good voice; I liked her a lot more than I liked Haley tonight.

Instead of getting the random sit down interview, T/AG gets preempted by some random banter between Seacrest and the judges. He's singing the Beatles and whips out a ballad no one has heard of. He'll be safe because 19E/Fremantle handed him a gazillion votes in the audition rounds. I like that he's doing something other than running around the stage and screaming . . . at least until the end, when he goes Adam Lambert on us. That knocks him down a peg for me since 1) it's already been done, and 2) I didn't like it the first time around.

Simon says the show is better now that he's gone. Of course it is: Simon has been phoning it in for the last three or four years.

Scotty is doing Elvis. Again. will.i.am wants him to combine country and rock. I'll bet he makes it country. And he does. The thing that I like about Scotty is that he knows what he does best and doesn't try to do anything that could make him look bad. I think he'll top out at about fourth place because I don't think he's going to pick up new voters as the others get eliminated, but he is the most consistently good performer on the show this season. Tonight felt more like country-bluegrass than country-rock, but it was still very, very good.

For those of you who thought that you were going to get through a post without a LOTRO update, sorry to disappoint you. I really like the new LI system where you can build the "perfect" LI if you're willing to grind item XP. I've got my RK up to level 41, but my guardian is parked at level 33 for now. Almost all of my toons have earned the title "Pie-Eating Champion" and have the fishslap emote. Plus, I started a hobbit burglar named Stealtharella. I'm only level 7, but until Star Wars: The Old Republic drops, it looks like I'll have lots of free (MMO) time.

Kicking off the third half of the show is Pia who changes things up with a little bit of Tina Turner. Oh, what I would give for a "wardrobe malfunction" tonight . . . I like the change of pace, and she even gets to belt out big notes without a ballad's "money note". She's a little shouty, but some of that's the song. Note to Pia: Don't go back to ballads. Her performance consists of her walking around, and not really moving in a way that is indicative of confident stage presence.

An ad for "Rio" just came one. Why can't I get away from that damn movie? First it invades Angry Birds, now it's all over Idol. Crap.

Mrs. High Lord can't stand Stefano and wants him to go away as much as I want Haley to get the boot. Like Pia, he's gone AFE on us so far this year, only he stays the course. Like The Arch, he also needs to open his eyes. He tries a lot of vocal tricks; some of them work, some don't. I just don't see him as "the" American Idol. Frankly, I'm surprised he's made it this far. I guess the show really is driven by teenage girls, because I don't know who else would be voting for him. Yawn. He wasn't awful, but for me, he was the worst of the night, so far. I forsee the bottom three for him. The judges slurp him, too.

Randy tries his best to be critical, but just can't do it. If the show needs one thing, it's a person on the panel who isn't worried about their own career post-Idol and is willing to give out some really tough love to the people who deserve it.

Paul was facing elimination last week, and he could have been in danger again this week, but he got the Pimp Spot and that will advance him to next week. Mrs. High Lord says he sounds like a young Rod Stewart. There is something about his voice that grates on me, but I think that like Scotty, he sticks to what he does best, even if it's not going to get him more votes as the weeks drag on. A close call last week combined with prime placement will mean that he's safe. I didn't love it, and he seemed a little too happy for a prison song.

The Good
Jacob, "Man in the Mirror"

The Bad
Pia, "River Deep, Mountain High"
Scotty, "That's All Right, Mama"
Casey, "Have You Ever Seen the Rain"
Lauren, "Natural Woman"
Paul, "Folsom County Blues"
Haley, "A Little Piece of My Heart"
James, "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
Stefano, "When A Man Loves a Woman"

The Ugly

Who should be in the bottom 3: Haley, James, Stefano
Who will be in the bottom 3: Haley, Jacob, Stefano

Who should be eliminated: Stefano
Who will be eliminated: Stefano

One thing I like about this season is that there isn't a lot of dead weight. Haley and Stefano are taking up space, but any of the others could win. I don't think that there is a clear-cut favourite to win at this point, but the talent pool is deep, and that's good. There's also not that one person who is going to inexplicably win (Taylor), nor is there someone who is going to come out of no where to win (Kris), and there isn't a person people will regret voting for (Lee).

Tomorrow night, we'll get our results. On Saturday, I'll know if I'm getting an involuntary "vacation" thanks to the Tea Party extremists who refuse to recognise that America was built on compromise and will shut down the government on (flawed) principle.

High Lord. Tamer of the Shrews. Out.