Yawn

Yup, that was me. Both DWTS and Idol are turning out to be snoozers this season. I don't know what's wrong with both shows, but the lack of competition is affecting viewership.

For DWTS, the competition is clearly Nicole's to lose. Everyone else is fighting for scraps. I think Derek is purposely ticking off Len (is he being told to by TPTB?) just to make it look like he and Nicole aren't running away with the thing.

As always, there are celebs on the show who are just taking up space, but this "season" there just seem to be more of them. Kate, Aiden and Jake are not good. Buzz is simply awful; in years past, the "sentimental favourite" has at least had a little bit of talent. I'm not anti-Buzz, but there's no way an 80 year old guy should be on a dancing show.

Erin, Chad, Niecy and Pam are the third tier, but none of them realistically has a chance at winning. The sole occupant of the second tier is Evan, and even he is three steps behind Nicole. Although the ratings don't show it, DWTS is pretty much set. Only the order in which people lose to Nicole is in question.

Have I mentioned that I don't like grumpy Len?

As far as Idol goes, there simply isn't a lot of talent on the show. The middle of the pack is good, but not great. The top of the heap is occupied by a couple of clear front-runners. The only saving grace is a couple of wild cards who could make a late charge if Crystal doesn't slam the door on them.

In other news, how 'bout that basketball game last night? I'm not a basketball fan (short Asian man), but I appreciate competition. It strikes me as odd that the NCAA goes to great length to promote mid-majors in the basketball tournament (Butler, George Mason, Gonzaga), but denies them a chance to play for the big on in football. I also find it odd that they're looking to expand the basketball tournament from 65 teams to 96 solely for the sake of a larger TV contract, but won't scrap the bowl system for a playoff.

If I were going to sue the NCAA/BCS, this would be the first thing I brought up. After all, if a little bit of Cinderella magic is good for basketball, it can only be great for football, right?

(The correct answer is "yes", by the way)

The theme for tonight is the Lennon/McCartney songbook, which has seen some of the best performances to be on Idol (Brooke's "Let It Be") and some of the worst (KLC's "Eight Days a Week"). There are 9 singers left and no "Stacked" to follow the show, which means that there will be 13½ minutes of singing and 106½ minutes of filler.

Sir Paul appears in the opening montage; I guess he was too busy to stop by and be an actual mentor.

More filler.

Yawn. Again.

Aaron leads off the show in the Dead Man's Spot. Does he even know who John Lennon was? The other singers call him "Yoda"? WTF? He's not 900 years old, short and green. I heard he is going to sing "The Long and Winding Road" and preemptively went to sleep. Vocally it's okay, but if you're going to go first, do it with a good song ("Hello, Good-bye") not with something that you'd hear in an elevator. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a fan. The performance was adequate, but safe and boring. It might land him in the bottom 3.

Are they going in reverse age order?

Going second is GHA who is trying to settle on a prom date. Her pandering for votes is actually funny. She's the little sister of the group. Duh. She picked Brooke's song which could be good. Or it could be awful. There's not much in between. She doesn't mess too much with the arrangement, which is good. She hits most of the notes, which is also good. It's also very, very slow, which is bad. I think she'll get good reviews. I like that she didn't mess with the song, but also didn't sound just like a straight cover. It seems that she took Simon's advice straight up.

I really dislike the backstage interviews. I can't wait until next week when the show cuts down to an hour.

Wrapping up the first third of the show is Neck Tattoo. Was he wearing a Snuggie? He's going for the unintentional pompadour, only less well than Adam. It's not great, but it's better than I expected. He sounds the same every week, which like Crystal, is a good thing. He needs to shave. Where's his mom? Randy calls it corny, which is spot on, because the song is corny to begin with. He also calls it "pop"; isn't that the point of this show? Kara is a stick in the mud.

Big Mike bats clean-up tonight. As usual, he starts out in "the false" but then settles down. This is one of my least favourite Beatles songs, but he's pretty good. This doesn't make me like the song any more, but I like the strings on stage. I also like that he avoids over-singing when the song gets big. He has good vocal control, which only makes me dread the upcoming Siobhán screech.

In retrospect, after hearing almost half of the singers, I'm elevating Katie to "The Good" for the night.

Over on ABC, it's elimination time. My money is on Kate to get whacked. Buzz is clearly the worst dancer, but only people who hate national heroes would vote against the second guy to walk on the moon.

Jake & Chelsea, Kate & Tony, Buzz & Ashly are all in danger. Any of these three couples could be eliminated and I'd be happy. Buzz & Ashly are put into the bottom 2. So are Jake & Chelsea. That means Kate & Tony are safe. (Boo!!!!)

Tom eschews a commercial break and immediately sends Buzz & Ashly home. I think everyone saw this coming. If not this week, then next.

Marking the halfway point of the show is CBX and her dreads. We're reminding that she's a single mom who has taken the rest of the singers under her wing. Awwwwwww. Last week, she left the black outfit behind, and went red (good). This week, she goes back to black and jeans (bad). I don't know that I'd have picked this song if I were her. She rocks it as usual, and that marks her as the most consistent performer of the season. Crystal reminds me a lot of Bo (in the good way). It only makes me wonder how amazing he and Chris Daughtry would have been had they been allowed to play their instruments. She does flub the lyrics (which no one calls her on), but recovers nicely. It wasn't my favourite of her performances, but it was solid and she'll coast into next week.

It's 9:14 and I can't believe they're going to string out the final four singers into 46 minutes. Blech. If this keeps up, I'm going to watch the show no-filler from her on out.

Mrs. High Lord sayd Borrowed Time still needs a haircut. I think he needs to go home. I wonder if he has a Matt Giraud-like third eye on his forehead, which is why he has that goofy haircut; at least it's appropriate for the Mopheads. Like a lot of the early Beatles stuff, this song has the boy-band pop sound that was prevalent in the early 60s. Tim doesn't do much with the song. His legions of fans will powervote for him, but I wish they wouldn't. This week, he wasn't awful (for a change) but he wasn't good, either.

It always interests me when they go to the Beatles songbook. Do the singers pick songs from the early years that are more pop or do they go to the more experimental work or the later, more introspective songs?

Angel and the girl from Bones are on to promote their own show. And look! There's Lacey!

We're two thirds of the way through the field and Casey is wearing a nice white suit. Like Andrew, he needs to shave. I wonder if they can put any less product in his hair. He's got a guitar, but the twist is that it's an acoustic guitar. He goes deep into the Lennon songbook, which means that he can't be criticised for butchering a well-known Beatles tune. I'll bet Simon calls it indulgent. Casey is never the best vocalist, but like Crystal, he turns in a consistent performance every week and sounds the same (in the good way).

I hope Siobhán can recover from a disastrous performance last week because I really like her (when she's not screeching). I hope she just sings this week because as Simon said last week, the scream has just gotten boring. The other singers think she's weird, which shouldn't surprise us; she's a glassblowing apprentice, after all. She follows in the footsteps of Michael Johns and I'm hopeful that we won't have to endure a scream. At the beginning, she's drowned out by the piano (or is it just the dishwasher that Mrs. High Lord started a few minutes ago?). She reaches for a few notes at the end, but keeps it under control, which is refreshing. There were a few pitch problems, but overall, it was an "unexpected" performance, and that is a good thing.

Randy and Ellen say largely complimentary things; Kara wants to put Siobhán in a nice, convenient box and just needs to shut up.

Taking his second Pimp Spot of the season is Lee. He doesn't mess with the song too much, although I wonder if he can top himself from last week. This is one of those Beatles songs that I don't understand, but hey, lots of people like it. I thought it was a big aiiiiiiiiight. Full disclosure: I'm not a Lee fan; it's not that I dislike him, but I just don't see his charm, either. I'm also wondering where the hell the guy with the bagpipes came from. Did you know that you can learn to play the bagpipes in LOTRO? That and the Moor Cowbell. Too bad I've got a hunter that can only learn the clarinet and the lute.

The Good
Katie, "Let It Be"

The Bad
Crystal, "Come Together"
Casey, "Jealous Guy"
Siobhán, "Across the Universe"
Andrew, "Can't Buy Me Love"
Mike, "Eleanor Rigby"
Lee, "Hey Jude"
Aaron, "The Long and Winding Road"
Tim, "All My Loving"

The Ugly

That's my recap. Surprisingly the best of the night was Katie, although Crystal and Casey were close.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Lee, Tim
Who will be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Andrew, Tim

Who should go home: Tim
Who will go home: Tim

Tim just needs to go. That's all there is to it. Just send Tim home. Please, "America", I'm begging you . . .

Tomorrow, I'll be watching the show as usual, but not blogging until the end.

Until then, if you're the praying type, please pray for the people of the great state of West Virginia, who have to deal with another mine tragedy. This one happened not to far from where Mrs. High Lord grew up, and she comes from a coal-mining family, so this is a little too close to home.

High Lord. Out.