Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Yeah, you may be eliminated tonight, but at least you get to go on the tour

As the Idol results show drones on, let me first express my surprise at Shannen Doherty's ouster on DWTS. I had Buzz or Kate pegged to go for sure, although I think Buzz is getting votes based on 1) him being a national hero, and 2) him being the "sentimental old guy" of this "season".

I also expect Jake and the soap opera guy to be kicked of soon; it's just a matter of the order.

What puzzles me about Kate is why ABC would bring her on to begin with. The obvious answer is that she is a polarising figure who will bring ratings. Lots of people like her, although an equal (if not greater) number loathe her. I'm ambivalent about her personally, although I understand why lots of people think she's a publicity-loving control freak diva. It's interesting to watch her and Tony together; they obviously can't stand one another, and you wonder if John really was that crazy.

In other news, Didi is running her yap and I can't stand her speaking voice any more than I can stand her singing voice. I muted the TV.

Back to Kate: I think viewers like their "celebs" to try hard and show a little bit of humility; Kate does the former very well and the latter not so much. I appreciate the lengths she is willing to go to in order to provide for her children, but I think the world is at the Kate Gosselin overload point. Her fame and fortune are built on being a reality TV star; what would she do if that all went away?

I think there are a lot of people who are willing to vote for her because they see her has a hard-working mom who got stiffed by her lazy, passive-aggressive ex-husband, but I think a lot more people think less complimentary things about her.

As far as her dancing goes, she has no chance at winning (unless Nicole Sherzinger gets lost in a paper bag one day), but she's certainly not any worse than some of the others on the show.

Seacrest just announced the bottom 3 as Didi, Katie and Tim. For the record, that makes two weeks in a row that I've hit the bottom 3. Maybe TPTB will take mercy on us all and whack both Didi and Tim at once (Seacrest just sent Katie back to the couches for the second week in a row).

Kate's problem on DWTS will be that as long as she and Tony are sparring and she's trying to tell him how to do his job, they're going to have problems. I don't think she'll last more than two or three more weeks.

Back to the elimination. Didi and Tim are left and there are 12 minutes left in the show. Seacrest lets them stew for a while as Diddy performs. That makes tonight's performers Diddy, Usher and Rueben. That's almost a line-up of contemporary music. If only they had included a group sing instead of that stupid Ford commercial.

We're 57 minutes into the show and Didi will have to sing for her future. I thought Idol had the time management thing down. I guess now.

Will Didi burst into tears in the middle of her song? I mute her performance because they're going to let her go.

So that leaves us with 9 Idols. I'd say this week, the right singer got eliminated, although I'd have been happy to see Tim go, too.

I'm headed home on Friday and will go see Clash of the Titans this weekend (even without the prompting from Fox). It will be good to be back in my own bed again.

High Lord. Out.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Idol tour preview

I've been out of town for almost three weeks now, and I'm ready to go home. Can't wait until Friday . . .

At least my hunter is up to level 57 since I've had a lot of free time to roam around Middle Earth. Now if only Will Peartree would show up so I can buy the spring horse from him (preferably at the 3 silver price that got him taken down). Also, if anyone out there is on Elendilmir and wants to send me some Iron Garrison Miner reputation items, please do so!

Some observations from DWTS:
  • I hate grumpy Len.

  • Brooke Burke did better this week, but I still like her more when she's not speaking.

  • Buzz Aldrin has no business being on this show, and they're not even sugarcoating it. Why would anyone think an 80 year old guy should be on a dancing show?

  • TPTB hate Ashly Coast/Delgrosso

  • Cheryl has her work cut out for her.

  • How is it that Derek gets ringers every year?

  • Have I mentioned that I miss Julianne and Kym?

  • Was it just me, or was there waaaaaayyyyyyyy too much manufactured drama in the pre-dance taped segments? I wish people would just dance, just like I wish the Idols would just sing.
I also wish I were at home with my DVR so I could watch Idol no-filler style. I really don't care to hear what the "judges" think on Idol this year. I also wish I had my DVR with me so I could have watched Big Bang last night after DWTS; now I have to wait until I get home on Friday to see it.

I'm also really excited to the return of "Five" after Idol.

We're six minutes into the show and still no singing. I hate filler. I also hate the blatant shilling for Usher and his album. Shouldn't they wait until the results show for that crap? I muted the TV.

Today is Siobhán's day in the barrel; she draws the Dead Man's Spot. Her vocals are actually under control for most of the song. I hope she doesn't resort to her patented screeching at the end . . . which she can't resist. I'd like her a whole lot more if she'd just let that go. I hate "money notes" already, but her just yelling for the sake of yelling is pointless. Now I hope the judges call her on it . . . and Simon does. She's just half a step up from "The Ugly" with that.

What's up with the backstage camera? That seems a little intrusive.

Casey is up next. I think Fox is deliberately messing with the curse of going early. The hawtest guy this season is not the strongest singer, but he's probably the #2 performer/all-round musician in the field this year, which will carry him far. I have a feeling the judges are going to slam him for doing the same thing every week, but then again, Chris Daughtry was an OTP and he did pretty well for himself. I like that his hair isn't falling around his face. He wouldn't have stood a chance if Idol still had the "no instruments" rule. His vocals aren't the greatest, and he picked a song that has very little range, but it was a very good performance.

In the three-spot is Big Mike, who is becoming something of a formulaic performer. I don't see the charm of him; I think he's a good (but not great vocalist) and I wonder where he'd be if not for the massive face time he got in Hollywood. He starts in "the false" which is not good (at least for me). I appreciate that he's doing something different (sitting there with a guitar) with a very stripped-down performance. The swaying in the audience needs to stop. I give him a big aiiiiiiiiight, but all the vocal runs are a little much (see Rule #2 to the right).

Didi is batting clean up. Her (singing) voice annoys me almost as much as Lacey's did. I hope she's gone after tomorrow night. She starts slow which is good, and in truth, this isn't as bad as I expected it was going to be. What's with the sparkley prom dress? Her pained facial expressions are distracting. When it ends, I'm happy. Bad? Not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Good? Not even close.

I'm slotting two people down right now. Kara is pigeonholing singers again; WTF is that about?

Wrapping up the first half of the show is Borrowed Time. Will this be the week he gets eliminated? Or a haircut? He goes cross-gender with some Anita Baker, and starts flat. He looks scared/creepy. This can't end soon enough. Was this top 24 really the best 24 they could come up with? I think I want my money back.

If the rest of this season is as boring as tonight's show, I might break up with Idol, too.

While we're waiting for Fox to bombard us with filler, check out this list of songs that should be banned from Idol. Inexplicably, "Against All Odds" isn't the first song on the list.

Andrew hasn't found his groove, in part because he's let the judges get into his head and he keeps second-guessing himself instead of just being a strong singer. I like it a lot; he doesn't try to do too much and chooses an arrangement that caters to his strengths. If the judges slam him, they need to do a drug test for everyone at the table. I'll bet Kara mentions "Straight Up" . . . and thankfully, she doesn't.

By the way, I am officially in love with Andrew's mom.

Before cutting to break, Seacrest mentions that Aretha is up next and then the camera cuts to GHA, which spells trainwreck. At least she didn't pick "Respect". She's dressed like she's 17 going on 26. Her vocals are actually pretty good, although the performance is a little "over the top". She has good vocal control, but she's struggled to find it with poor song selection of the past few weeks; don't get me wrong, she's no VCM, but she showed off that she's a good singer without having to resort to the shouting that plagues Siobhán.

Lee is a guy whom I find boring. I just don't get a connection to him or his singing. He strikes me as just another guy with a guitar, in the same way the Didi is just another blonde girl who got the lead in all the high school chorus concerts. He's okay, but Casey is a better "rocker", Mike has more charisma and Aaron has the youth voters. Maybe not this week (but soon!), but I think when the music stops, he'll be the one without a chair. The judges slurp him, but I just didn't get it.

I'm sure Ken Warwick would have like to put CBX in the Pimp Spot, but since she was just there two weeks ago, they have to put her second to last tonight. Her new thing isn't a haircut, and it's not even the heels. As with all of her other performances, this is a grand slam. The only way it could have been better was if Jack Black, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey, Jr. were backing her up as the Pips. She's not a good musician, but a fairly decent vocalist, who clearly knows how much she can get away with, and doesn't have to resort to cheap stunts (Siobhán) or desperate ploys (Didi). As always, I'd almost be willing to pay money for this download. I also like the red dress.

Simon tells her to go back to playing the guitar. (He's right.) Take that, Kara!

By the way, I just checked and saw that Shannen Doherty got eliminated from DWTS. I didn't see that coming. Of course, in terms of name recognition, she doesn't have much (anymore) and her dancing was uninspiring. At least Buzz is a national hero and Kate is more current, which is probably why they're still around. Shannen hasn't done anything of substance since "Heathers" (one of the great underrated movies of the 80s; go rent it).

Aaron wraps up the show. He's another singer whom I don't understand. Why is he still around? I'm sorry for his recap being so short; I fell asleep half way through.

The Good
Crystal, "Midnight Train to Georgia"
Andrew, "Forever"

The Bad
Katie, "Chain of Fools"
Casey, "Hold On"
Lee, "Treat Her Like a Lady"
Mike, "Ready for Love"
Aaron, "Ain't No Sunshine"

The Ugly
Didi, "What Becomes of a Broken Heart?"
Siobhán, "Through the Fire"
Tim, "Sweet Love"

If this is the tour, I hope they're giving tickets away because everyone tonight has been underwhelming. I think the frontrunners are sandbagging and the rest have a talent deficit.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Didi, Siobhán, Tim
Who will be in the bottom 3: Didi, Katie, Tim

Who should go home: Tim
Who will go home: Tim

Didi is also in the mix to get whacked.

I'm going to go put some laundry in, then settle in to watch V. And try and get to level 58.

High Lord. Out.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

On to the Top 10

As many people have already written, the #11 spot is the worst place to be eliminated. Sure you made the voting rounds, but if you get booted off, you don't get to go on tour, make some money and get a leg up on a record contract.

The general consensus around the internets is that Paige will get whacked. Then, of course, the judges will have the opportunity to save one of them. I will also remind you that even Adolf Hitler hates the Judges's Save.

If there's anything you can agree with Hitler about, it's that the Judges's Save smells to high heaven.

A quick recap of the show involves Paige, Tim and GHA begin sent to the stools for the bottom 3. Miley Cyrus sang something. Seacrest yapped through some filler. Katie is safe. Paige is eliminated. Simon doesn't even pretend that they're going to consider saving Paige. Her good-bye montage rolls.

I think everyone in America knew this was going to happen. After a strong start, Paige was crushed by the grind of Idol. I just don't think she was mentally prepared for how tough the show was going to be on her. Sure, she had the laryngitis excuse last week, but this week she picked the one song everyone wants struck from the Idol songbook and was flat for the entire performance.

Next week, we'll continue booting off the remainder of the fodder and then get down to business in the top 7.

Some other notes:

  • I only watched part of DWTS and came away largely unimpressed. There are the usual suspects: the athletes, the soap opera stars, the reality show whores and the WTF-is-he/she-doing-on-my-TV folks.

  • I didn't watch everyone because I was doing laundry for part of the show and because I switched over to watch Big Bang Theory on CBS (no DVR this week), so I can't comment on the field.

  • Buzz was awful. What does the show have against Ashly Costa/Delgrosso? First Master P and now Buzz. At least Buzz was trying, but I'd still like to see more Ashly, even if she is now married with kids.

  • Nicole and Evan are this season's ringers. If you believe otherwise, you're not paying attention.

  • Chad Ochocinco will be better than everyone expects. He may not win, but I'm sure he'll give it 100% effort. He's lighter on his feet than Warren and has more natural talent than Michael. I don't look for him to match Jerry's second place finish, nor Emmitt's victory.

  • Brooke Burke was awkward in her debut as the hostess. I think she was trying too hard. Of course, I don't care if she opens her mouth; all she needs to do for me is stand there and show off the girls.

  • I really miss Julianne and Kym. Who will be my future Mrs. High Lord this season?

  • I've completed 7 of the 9 Spring Festival quests. All I have left is the horse race in Bree and the fence-walking quests in the Shire.

  • The Pacific is really good.

  • I miss 79 cent slushies.

  • I've been able to avoid the Cheesecake Factory for most of my time out of town. I don't know that I'll be able to keep this up for another week.
Idol is better off without Paige, although I don't know that she's really as bad as she has been for the last couple of weeks. This only reinforces my belief that younger singers should not be on the show. Katie's appearance in the bottom 3 surprised me; Andrew's would not have but I thought all of Katie's face time would have helped her for another couple of weeks.

Does anyone know what the theme is for next week?

I'm headed back to the Spring Festival (on Elendilmir).

High Lord. Out.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Idol: Out of town edition

Here we are, 11 singers left and only 10 spots on the tour. I'm out of town for this week and next leaving Mrs. High Lord to hold down the fort. There's no DVR where I'm staying, so I only get one chance to see each performance.

I watched most of DWTS last night, but I'll save my comments on that until tomorrow.

The "mentor" tonight is Miley Cyrus. She's pushing a movie, right? She's . . . like . . . 12 years old; how can she be a "mentor"? If I hear the mountain climbing song, I'm going to stab someone.

Now, on to the singing.

First up is Lee who is singing "The Letter", which has been performed solo by Gokey and as a duet by Carly and the future Mr. Beckeye, Michael Johns. I'm not a fan of the jazz arrangement, although it could have been worse. I think of Lee as Elliot-Lite, and that doesn't make me a fan. Lee is one of those guys who doesn't inspire people to get out and vote for him, but nor does he get people to hate him. I think he could sneak into the Top 6, but I think that's about the ceiling for him.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Paige is going into the Idol songbook for a song that should be retired; I should put her the "The Ugly" for that alone. As it is, Paige lands herself in the Bottom 3 on her own. Her voice sounds as breathy as Archuleta's (I know everyone was slurping him, but I couldn't stand him). Plus, she's flat for most of the song. I predict right now she'll be eliminated, and there are still 9 more singers to go.

Next up is Eric Forman's Haircut who is trying his hand a some Queen. It's okay, although his slide across the floor was ill-conceived at best and awkward at worst. This isn't a bad song for him; he's trying to show a little "personality", even if the vocals are between below average and mediocre.

So far, I'm asking myself why I'm watching the show and not completing the Spring Festival Deeds in Bree.

The laryngitis victim of the week is Aaron who sings the big Aerosmith song. Randy says nice things; I don't think he was that good, but following Tim and Paige makes him seem better than he really was. I think he's got an outside shot at making the Top 5 or so. He'll advance this week because the field is week.

In a week that must have killed her to be associated with Miley Cyrus, CBX takes her usual approach to the show and goes way off the deep end, which isn't a bad thing. Unlike some past performances, I wouldn't even think about paying for this download (I don't like the Joplin version, either), but Crystal does a good job or rocking the house. I would pay to see her in concert though. I really hope she doesn't win.

The halfway point is marked by Big Mike who shows off his big voice. I'm not a big fan of this song, so I'll give it a big aiiiiiiiight. Kara was bored by it, and so was I. I think he's become a formulaic singer who does the same thing week after week. I think he's a shoo-in for the top 5, but I don't know that he'll win.

Miley encouraged Andrew to lose the guitar and he gives us a rockin' version of Marvin Gaye. The judges bash him, but I actually liked it. I appreciate that he was willing to give up guitar. Can't the judges go through an entire show without alluding (or mentioning outright) to "Straight Up". I thought it was better than the judges. Now only if we can get him to ditch the chunky glasses . . .

Former TCO GHA is the same age as the "mentor"; how does that work again? She's singing a Fergie song that doesn't involve spelling and I want to like her, but there's just something about her that comes up a little short. I like that she picked a recent song (as opposed to Marvin Gaye, Queen or The Box Tops). This week she has a bit of a nasally thing going on, which I'm not a fan of, but she is easily in the top quartile of the performers of this week.

Without being able to give Crystal a much-needed hair makeover, the Idol stylist is going crazy with Casey. He need to get his hair out of his face. If my friend Amy were watching this show (which I'm sure she isn't), she would be horrified to hear anything by Huey Lewis. I'm waiting for Marty and Doc to pop in out of nowhere ("Roads? . . . Where we're going, we don't need . . . roads . . .") I like him; he's got a good pop/country sound and doesn't try to do too much (unlike some of the other singers still around).

As you all may know, I'm not a fan of IBG Didi. I don't care for her voice and I think she should have been eliminated before two or three of the singers who didn't make it out of the rounds of 24. This week, I like her even less. I don't know why voters are keeping her around; she's neither the most talented, the prettiest nor even the most charming.

I read an article that says Idol's problems aren't because of the changes at the judges's table, song selection or because everyone is "pitchy". It's because the singers this season simply aren't very good. I tend to agree. Of all the gazillions of people who auditions, these are the best they could come up with? Really?

Siobhán nabs the Pimp Spot and she's gone big with her hair. Will she screech a big note at the end or will she just sing the song? She's channeling her inner 80s diva. All that's missing are the legwarmers. In terms of pure vocal talent, she's near the top of the heap this season. Don't get me wrong; she's not Anwar, nor even Carrie or Diana, but she has a lot of control (when she's not screeching money notes), and doesn't miss the pitch too often (when she's not screeching money notes). Just as I liked Andrew giving up the guitar, I'd like to hear Siobhán just sing a song without resorting to the shouting.

The Good
Crystal, "Me and Bobby McGee"
Casey, "The Power of Love"

The Bad
Siobhán, "Superstitious"
Andrew, "Heard It Through the Grapevine"
Katie, "Big Girls Don't Cry"
Mike, "When Man Loves a Woman"
Lee, "The Letter"
Aaron, "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"

The Ugly
Didi, "You're No Good"
Tim, "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"
Paige, "Against All Odds"

Who should be in the bottom 3: Didi, Paige, Tim
Who will be in the bottom 3: Andrew, Didi, Paige

Lee might make a surprise visit to the bottom 3 because he had to go first, but I think he's got a few more weeks before that happens.

Who should go home: Paige
Who will go home: Paige

This week's elimination is among the easiest calls to make: Paige will get whacked, unless her fans go into calling/texting overdrive and maybe Tim gets eliminated, but I think Paige has outlived her welcome by about three weeks.

Tomorrow, remember I'm not live-blogging results shows, but I'll have a couple of comments about the elimination and DWTS.

High Lord. Out.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I'm already starting off on the wrong foot

Actually, that's not quite right. I got the bottom 3 right, I just predicted the wrong person being eliminated.

I'm not surprised Lacey got whacked, but I don't think she would have survived next week if she had made it through tonight's show. Now if we can only get rid of Didi, who's interview with Seacrest made me hit mute because I can't stand the sound of her voice.

Paige is officially on borrowed time.

Other thoughts on tonight's show:
  • I guess they finally abolished the group sings.

  • The Ford commercials are still abysmal. Or maybe it's just my bias against Ford.

  • David Cook on Idol is never a bad thing. I wish more Idols would come home instead of pushing off bad pop acts off on us during the filler time.

  • Have I mentioned how much I hate the results shows?

  • I think we have about four more weeks of the fodder getting mowed down, and then we'll get into the surprise eliminations.

  • Does anyone know what the theme is for next week?

  • "The Pacific" is great. If you're not watching it, you should be.

  • I wonder if anyone is going to spin out Jimmie Johnson this week now that 1) they know they can get away with it, and 2) they'd hate to see him win five in a row.

  • The Judges's Save still sucks.
Now we've got six more days before the next show. Until then . . .

High Lord. Out.

So close . . . yet so far away . . .

Over the next two weeks, two singers will be eliminated from Idol. These two will have made it through the gauntlet only to come up short and not make the tour. Some of these have been bad (Mikalah Gordon, Leah Labelle, Lindsay Cardinale) and others should have gone further (Matt Rogers, Melissa McGhee). Who will it be this year?

In past seasons, I've noticed that the strength of the field has increased from the year before. This year, the field is underwhelming. Most of the guys are mediocre at best, the girls are playing it too safe and there are only a couple of people who have a legitimate shot at taking home the title..

Here is my breakdown of the 12 singers:

Just Happy to Be Here
Lacey, Paige, Tim

As we know, Tim is playing with house money, much like Nikko from season 4. He was passed over before the rounds of 24, but now he's here thanks to some questionable business dealings between another singer and his former record company.

Lacey probably should have made it last season, but this year, she's just not a contender. I find her singing style annoying and I just don't understand how she can rally a fanbase big enough to keep her around. Her sound is like Didi's, her look isn't quite a edgy/quirky as Siobhán's, and she doesn't have the simple raw talent of Crystal.

Paige is one of those last girls standing who somehow inexplicably survived the female gendercide of the rounds of 24. She is clearly an inferior singer to Michelle, an inferior performer to Lilly and her story is less compelling than Haeley's. She improved some this week, but if she survives tonight, she'll need to begin gathering a strong bloc of votes to make it to the tour.

Who Am I? Why Am I Here?
Didi, Katie

These two are struggling to find an identity. Didi wants desperately to have a mainstream pop sound, but her quirky singing style prevents that. Katie made the show about two seasons two early. I think she spends too much time trying to figure out how to take the judges's advice and not enough time picking songs that are good for her.

Both of these girls have received enough face time to carry them for a couple more weeks, but they need to solidify a sound soon or they won't make the Top 8. Didi is in more trouble than Katie.

Look at Me, I'm Cute!

Riding the votes of empowered tweens with unlimited text messaging plans, Aaron is setting himself up for a run. Like most teenagers, he's really too young to be on the show, but now that he's there, he wants to make a charge. I think he could sneak into the top 5 or so, but he's got no chance at winning. He's just too green.

I Used to be a TCO! What Happened?!?!?!?

Quite simply, the judges boxed him in and won't let him out. He's like the the Number Three cylons. I'm not going to blame him for the Straight Up performance; I'm going to blame the judges for not letting that go and reminding us as such every week. I think he's got a lot of voters (the Latino bloc for one), but I don't see him picking up new voters every week.

I'm Still a TCO! Hear Me Roar!

Is there really any doubt about this one? I think he's this year's Archuleta and Gokey. TPTB like him, so they handed him twenty million votes in the Hollywood rounds. The judges are slurping him and he's getting a lot of face time. He's got a good voice, performs well on stage and could plug into the big, cuddly, non-threatening black guy role that was filled (no pun intended) by Rueben, only Mike's sound is more commercial. I hate to sound cynical about this, but having a white wife could hurt him among homophobes (black and white) who disapprove (however tacitly) of interracial unions.

The Enigmas
Lee, Siobhán

I think you say her name "shuh-vawn", but any way you slice it, I don't think Idol knows what to do with her. She could mount a strong charge and win, or her quirky personality could turn voters off. I think she's a strong singer who needs to stop screeching at the end of songs and just sing. She could be a mainstream pop singer, or she could also be the next Amy Lee or Liz Phair who makes music that's just half a step out of sync with the pop radio stations.

Lee desperately wants us to like him, but there's something oddly detached about his demeanor. Maybe it's just me. I think he's built more for Nashville Star and while I don't think he's going to flame out like Josh Gracin, I don't see him getting very far.

Eye Candy

Do I even need to explain this? What has surprised me about him is that he's actually a good entertainer. He doesn't have the best voice, but neither did Taylor, and Casey is a whole lot better looking. It's a no-brainer that he has legions of girls in his fan club, but the question is whether that's enough to carry him in to the finale.

I'm the Clear Frontrunner, But I Don't Want to Win

I think it's pretty common knowledge that Crystal is self-aware enough to understand what the exposure on Idol will do for someone's career, even if winning will turn them into something they abhor. I think FRC knew this, too, only he tried to play the game and instead of coming off as authentic, he just appeared smarmy and creepy. It also hurt Constantine that he was splitting votes with Bo, who not only was authentic, but had more talent and didn't eye-boink the cameras at every opportunity.

The fact that Crystal is unapologetic about her ambitions and desire to make it is at the same time admirable and a little arrogant. I think she knows it's not in her best interest to win. She wants to be Chris Daughtry, and make her own music without the mantle/burden of being the American Idol. She's got the most talent the most drive. The judges have anointed her as the early favourite. Her problem is that I don't see her 1) picking up new voters now that she's got Lilly's, and 2) ever making a pop record.

Seriously, watch her face during the group sings; she seems genuinely horrified and embarrassed to be taking part in them. She'll be traveling with the Lilith Fair in about two years.

Now that you have my rundown of the 12 finalists, here's how I think they will finish. Notice that I'm not predicting how they should finish, but how I think they will end up. Remember, all predictions guaranteed wrong or your money back.

12. Paige
11. Lacey
10. Tim
9. Lee
8. Didi
7. Katie
6. Aaron
5. Andrew
4. Crystal
3. Mike
2. Siobhán
1. Casey

You read that right: I'm picking Casey to win, even though the person who should win is Crystal. I don't think he's the most talented, but he's good looking, a good singer and likable (with and without a shirt on). He will consistently pick up new voters as other singers get voted off. Plus, being the oldest singer remaining, the grind of the show won't chew him up like I think it will do to others like Katie and Aaron.

As always, I'm not live-blogging the results show but I'll have my thoughts posted later tonight once the elimination is over.

High Lord. Out.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I guess it's time to get down to business

After last week's eliminations, the Idols are taking the stage for the Top 12. The general consensus around the interweb is that this crop is dull. I don't know if the show has jumped the shark or if the talent pool is simply shallow, but for the past few years, there hasn't been anyone to come out and "wow!" the general audience.

Part of the problem, I think, is that the singers are too filtered. The show has been on long enough that the singers aren't raw and "undiscovered". There are too many professional and semi-professional singers for a truly unknown talent to turn up.

There is also the emergence of the self-aware auditioner, and I don't just mean the people who dress up in costume just to get on TV. For instance, take Katie, who professes to have been watching the show since she was 8. She clearly knows how to play the game, from song selection to the obligatory sob story. Crystal is also self-aware about her role on the show and how to play the game. I think she does not want to win, but us leveraging her talent to make a career in the music business that is more than singing on street corners and touring small venues.

The people who are on this year remind me of NASCAR qualifying cars; they were built to get to the race and to compete for the pole position, but when it comes to actually winning, some are woefully unprepared. I think that's why so many of the winners of this show have fallen off the face of the earth since taking their victory lap.

With the varying themes, the show is designed to find someone who excels at a bunch of different things, but is truly good at none of them. That's why the most successful of the most recent winners have not been winners. Of the others, only Kelly can say she was a success in the pop genre, the rest have either flamed out or been Carrie and gone on to Nashville.

What will happen when this season ends? Will it fizzle out after Simon's exit? Will it plod along for a few seasons before being replaced by another show? Will the Idol TPTB get the message and stop tinkering?

We'll find out in a few months.

On to the show.

The theme tonight is the Rolling Stones. Do they really need the money that bad?

First up is Big Mike with "Miss You". The false is too much for me to take. He'll clearly be safe for many, many weeks because he's been handed so many votes with the massive face time he's received. I was unimpressed. So much so that I don't really remember anything good or bad about the performance. This is his second time in the Dead Man's Spot, so I think Idol is trying to change the mojo of the show. Kara thinks Mike is going to win.

Next up is Didi who our friend BeckEye believes is a plant. There are conspiracy theories that fly around every year, and I don't really pay attention them. What I do know is that Didi shouldn't have made it through Hollywood and she definitely didn't deserve to out last Lilly. I can't stand her singing voice and style. She tries to look angry, even though the audience is swaying. She knows she's on thin ice because she's showing a lot of skin and wearing jeans that are way too tight. Randy slurps her up because that's what he does with pretty blondes.

So far, the yawners are 2-2.

Going third is Casey, who started off trading on his (shirtless) looks, but I think he's come on strong lately. He comes out rockin' which is always good. His vocals aren't the strongest, but neither were Bo's. Casey comes across as a good live show and perhaps a strong cover artist. This performance plays to his strengths which are a good blues guitar and strong stage performance. Ellen was very funny. Kara blathers on incoherently.

Lacey is batting clean up. Her sound is very much like Didi's, which is to say, her voice annoys me. She likes to sing in church. I didn't expect her to make it this far. She always sounds like Harriet Wheeler covering someone else. She's better than Didi, but not by much. It's too slow and not quite Lindsay Cardinale bad, but I couldn't wait for her performance to end.

In the five-spot, Andrew still hasn't done away with his big, chunky glasses. His father cries and his mother is apparently mute. He eschews the guitar and has his strongest performance since the voting started. His vocals are better than Randy thought and he smartly avoids oversinging, at least until the end. Can't Kara just listen to the song and not worry about how people connect to the lyrics? I'm really tired of her.

Wrapping up the first hour of the show is GHA. Did you know she's only 16? Seacrest gives her the pre-song sit down along with a couple of million votes. I'm just happy she's reasonably articulate and not a blithering idiot like Archuleta. I want her to be good, but I just don't know how she'll do down the stretch. My buddy Mike wants her to be 18 so he doesn't feel dirty when she's on. I hate that she's singing a slow song, but she's the best of the girls so far. Hey, Katie, your grandmother called, and she wants her drapes back.

I can't believe we have to sit through another hour of the show tonight. So far, we've had two good performances, two bad and two that were meh.

Next up is Tim who is playing with house money. I wonder if the judges will rip him for going Andrew Garcia. This sounds like a Jimmy Buffett/Kenny Chesney kind of song. I don't hate it, but I don't care for it either. I think he wants to be Kris Allen, but he's not that charismatic nor is his voice as good. And he needs a haircut. Damn hippy. I like that Ellen and Kara at least acknowledge that he tried something new with a song, even if it didn't work.

Don't Call Me Chiffon is next. She's singing the theme from "Tour of Duty" and the Idol hairstylist used a "get out of jail free" card on her. Siobhán looks like she's ready to go to the goth prom (not a complaint; goth girls are both hawt and freaky . . . at least that's what I've heard. Don't tell Mrs. High Lord I said that). I like her, if only because she's so different from anyone who's been on the show; she's very unpretentious, which is oddly refreshing. That last note was a little much for me. But with the glasses, she's got that hawt librarian look. Yummy.

Taking us into the home stretch is Lee, whose head is huge compared to Seacrest's. I'm undecided on him; some weeks he's good and other weeks he's just been okay. At least he hasn't been awful. He goes unplugged, which seems to be a recurring theme; where are the judges to rip him for it? Like his past performances, I don't love it. I don't hate it. I'm simply uninspired.

Paige hails from the great state of Florida, who I think is living on borrowed time. That she's still around while Michelle and Lilly are gone seems a little odd. This is a good rockin' song for her. I'm no fan, but I think she knows she has to go all in and can't sandbag like some of the others. She has a big voice, but doesn't let it go completely, which is good. This was her best performance so far. Why are Ellen, Kara and Simon covering for Paige?

Going second to last is Aaron, which means Crystal is going last. Did you know he's only 17? And he's adopted. You've got to watch out for adopted kids; they're all trouble. It starts slow, which is bad. Considering how deep the Rolling Stones's song book goes, why are so many of them picking bad songs? I thought he was boring, which is a shame because I think Aaron could have been much, much better.

Predictably landing in the Pimp Spot is CBX, who really doesn't need the help. Why does she get to walk out from behind the sliding screen? It sounds like every other Crystal song, which is to say that she's almost iTunes/XM ready. I see that the Idol make-up people got their hands on her with some foundation, although she probably took out a restraining order against the hair stylist. Like some of her other performances, I'd almost pay money to download her song. I think if the judges tell her she needs to change up her style a little, she'll tell them to go to hell. If she has one problem on this show is that she doesn't have much room to improve. I don't think she's peaked yet, but she could be in the Chris Daughtry/Melinda Doolittle zone, which means a third/fourth place exit.

The Good
Casey, "It's All Over Now"
Crystal, "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
Andrew, "Gimmie Shelter"

The Bad
Siobhán, "Paint It Black"
Paige, "Honky Tonk Woman"
Katie, "Wild Horses"
Lee, "Beast of Burden"
Mike, "Miss You"
Aaron, "Angie"
Tim, "Under My Thumb"

The Ugly
Lacey, "Ruby Tuesday"
Didi, "Playing With Fire"

Who should be in the bottom 3: Didi, Lacey, Tim
Who will be in the bottom 3: Lacey, Paige, Tim

Who should go home: Didi
Who will go home: Paige

I think Lacey is in danger of going home, but since "America" doesn't like brown people, I'm predicting a Paige exit, even though she was better tonight than I can remember seeing her. Aaron probably also deserves a spot in the bottom 3, but I think he's got too many tweeners voting for him to be eliminated.

As always, I'll be watching, but not live-blogging the results show tomorrow. By the way, my elf hunter is up to level 52.

High Lord. Out.

Friday, March 12, 2010

1 surprise, 3 not so much

Although it doesn't rank up there with Chris Daughtry or J-Hud's eliminations, Lilly getting the boot was a bit of a surprise. When they paired her up with Katie, I knew it was Lilly's time to go.

What was it about her? I think she was splitting votes with Crystal, and CBX got the majority. I expected Didi to get eliminated instead, although Lacy was probably also on the chopping block. What does this mean for the girls? Crystal just lost her major competitor for the top spot.

On the guys's side, Todrick's ouster was not surprising given his entire body of work, which was shaky at best, but he had the best performance of the guys this week. I think the stories of him taking peoples's money for a production that never panned out didn't help him.

Alex needed to go. Not because he was a bad singer or because of his silly haircut. He needed to go because Idol would have destroyed him. He's too young, too inexperienced and too scared to be on stage. Of course, now that he's made the voting rounds, he's precluded from returning to Idol, but the judges really need to borrow a page from Nigel Lythgoe and start telling young singers, "You're good and you have talent, but you're not ready right now. We're going to send you home to work on your vocals, your stage presence and your confidence. Come and see us again in two years."

I'm convinced this would have save Leah Labelle and John Stevens from self-destructing on stage.

Now that the top 12 are set, I think the obvious top two contenders are Crystal and Big Mike. There are a few people who can challenge them, but for right now, they're at the top of the heap and everyone else is playing for third place.

I'll have to cogitate for a few days and I'll come up with an order I think the remaining singers deserve to be eliminated, and an order in which I think they will be eliminated.

High Lord. Out.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sorry for the delay

I've had a bit of a long day, so I'll be brief. Rest assured, though, that I'll be watching the results show tonight in its entirety.

Here's what I thought of last night's show:
  • None of the guys really wanted to win, except maybe Big Mike.

  • I can't believe I'm about to write this, but the best performance of the night was Todrick. While I can't stand him personally and he doesn't have a prayer to win, his version of "Somebody to Love" was excellent. Yes, it was over the top, and only someone who didn't know Queen (Kara) would criticise him for being the same. The vocals were spotty, but Freddie Mercury had a big voice, not a perfect voice.

  • Other people having a good night: Casey, Tim.

  • People having a bad night: Everyone else.

  • Like the girls, the guys got a case of the borings.

  • I wish the judges would stop reminding us of how Andrew peaked with "Straight Up". Each performance should stand on its own merit, not be judged against a previous effort. It bugs me that they constantly want to pigeonhole the singers, then tell them to break out of the mold they put them in. Just let them sing.

  • Aaron's problem wasn't that he picked a song that was out of his experience range (Kara, I'm talking to you), it's that he was oversinging.

  • Alex needs to be put out of his misery. I don't care how good a singer he is, this show is going to chew him up and spit him out. He always looks scared, and if he hasn't gotten that fixed by now, he's going to implode faster than Leah Labelle did.

  • And he needs a haircut.

  • Lee's nasally voice is beginning to annoy me.

  • Big Mike is also guilty of oversinging, even though the judges constantly slurped him for it. I hope the show doesn't milk the "he missed his baby's birth for Idol" story or the viewing audience will turn on him faster than they did on Gokey.

  • For elimination, I'm picking Todrick and Alex, although Andrew could be a surprise elimination. I guess we'll find out in a couple of hours.

The Good
no one tonight

The Bad

The Ugly

I'll be back in a little bit.

High Lord. Out.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A day late and a dollar short

But hey, with this blog, you get what you pay for.

Here are a few of my thoughts on last night's Idol:
  • Randy must have had one of Ellen and Portia's "marital aids" stuck somewhere unpleasant because he was in a very bad mood last night.

  • To be fair to the Dawg, the girls were underwhelming.

  • The best performance by far was Crystal, whom they couldn't put in the Pimp Spot twice in three weeks.

  • Best vocals belonged to Siobhán and (surprisingly) Paige. Both girls had good tone, were clear and didn't have any pitchy moments.

  • What's up with all the (bad) slow songs? The one thing the judges were right about is that for the last show going in to the Top 12, for those who are on the bubble, it has to be balls-to-the-wall, not playing it safe. There were too many timid performances, something this season that has been the provice of the guys, not the girls.

  • Is Idol abandoning GHA, their female TCO? They stuck her in the Dead Man's Spot, then the judges all bashed her. Some of it was deserved (like for singing too slow and being flat in too many places) and some of it was not (like for bashing her for taking their suggestions).

  • Didi and Lacy both sound the same to me. I don't care for either, although I think Lacy's I-can't-believe-I-got-whacked-for-Megan-Joy story will carry her through to the Top 12, where she'll be eliminated in about 9th place.

  • I don't understand Lilly's charm, although she does have a good voice. I'd look for her to split votes with Crystal with CBX coming out the winner. If she was going to sing a "Fall to Pieces" song, I wish it had been the Velvet Revolver one.

  • Everyone needs to watch "The Pacific" miniseries that's starting on HBO this coming Sunday.

  • Katelyn and her hair were awful.
The Good

Crystal, "Give Me One Reason"

The Bad

Siobhán, "House of the Rising Sun"
Paige, "Smile"
Lilly, "I Fall to Pieces"

The Ugly

Katie, "Break Away"
Lacy, "The Story"
Didi, "Rhiannon"
Katelyn, "I Feel the Earth Move"

That's what I heard last night, and I'm not sure the judges and I were watching the same show.

I look for Didi and Katelyn or Paige to get eliminated tonight. Speaking of which, tonight will be more of the same 'cuz Mrs. High Lord and I are babysitting. I won't be live-blogging the show, but I'll have an abbreviated review up no later than tomorrow by mid-afternoon (I'll be traveling in the morning; long story, don't ask).

High Lord. Out.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Fair warning notice

My stepdaughter has gone out of town for the week leaving Mrs. High Lord and I with her two year-old. That means tonight and tomorrow night I'll be chasing a little one around instead of live blogging Idol.

Rest assured (all eight of you, plus my mother), that I have not broken up with the show; I'm just on baby watch this week. Regular live-blogging will continue next week.

In other news, here are a few of my random thoughts:
  • In case you hadn't heard, past champion, super-hawt über-MILF Brooke Burke has signed on to be Samantha Harris's replacement. I'm kind of psyched about this. For one thing, anyone would be an improvement over the Queen of Unintentional Comedy. I was hoping for Drew Lachey, but I realise they need some co-host eye candy and Brooke fills that role nicely. She didn't do half-bad for Rock Star, so there's no reason to think she'll bomb on DWTS.

  • The general consensus on this season of Idol is that it is a Stage 4 Snoozer, and I am hardly one to disagree. How bad is it that two of the frontrunners (Crystal and Lilly) appear to be angling for the singer-songwriter niche that is lightyears away from the pop star the show is purportedly trying to find?

  • Because of the aforementioned apathy regarding the show, it's not the arrival of Ellen or the departure of Simon that signals the show's decline; it's bad talent.

  • Lucy Pinder. Yum.

  • As much as I loved the new BSG, I'm having a hard time getting in to Caprica, the BSG prequel series. I just don't feel attached to any of the characters and it seems to lack everything that made BSG so great.

  • My old big screen TV is on the fritz. It's a rear-projection HDTV that has a convergence problem. I guess I could fix it, but is it worth sinking a couple hundred bucks into a 9 year-old TV when I could buy a new 32" model for $400.

  • I got an email from our friend Jennifer. She sends her best to everyone and wants you to know that she's not fully broken up with Idol; they're just on a break. If you remember, this started about half way through last season and it's been coming for a while, which is a shame, 'cuz hers is the best blog I read.

  • My elf hunter is up to level 47 now and pushing level 48. Yea, me!

  • If you have a Toyota (or any other brand of car, for that matter) that experiences "unintended acceleration", what should you do?

    Stand on the brakes?

    Pull the parking brake?

    Turn the car off?

    The correct answer: None of that above. Shift into neutral (or disengage the clutch) and coast to a stop. You do not want to lose control of the vehicle (which is what the above three actions will do), so if you stop the wheels from receiving any power from the engine, you'll be able to safely pull over and park your car. Then turn the engine off and call AAA or roadside assistance.
Anyway, while I probably won't be on during Idol, I'll blog the show either after the baby goes to bed or I'll drop a few random thoughts by tomorrow.

High Lord. Out.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Why do you hate brown people, America?

The show just ended and I've been watching, but I refuse to live blog the results shows. At least right now there's enough actual content to justify half of a one hour show; what are they going to do when the results shows are still an hour but there's only one person to eliminate?

Anyway, here are my thoughts:
  • Three of the four people who got canned deserved it.

  • John has been underachieving with poor song choices.

  • Jermaine never really recovered from coming off as a diva during Hollywood week when he trashed the band in front of America. Being flamboyantly gay doesn't help him.

  • Haeley was on borrowed time and is probably two years too young for this show. Like most teenagers, she needed a couple of years for her voice to even out before taking on the show. Diana and Jordin are the exception, not the rule.

  • I thought Michelle would be around for a while, but I guess I was wrong. Her voice was one of the best on the show, but a lousy song choice this week was her undoing. I'm just unhappy that I won't get to see her hawt sister any more.

  • Todrick dodged a bullet this week and he knows it. I look for him to go next week.

  • Was it just me or did Gokey ramble on and on and on for an inordinately long time? I muted his song and didn't listen to his blather, but his lips seemed to be moving for waaaaaayyyyyy too long.

  • Mrs. High Lord put out a bounty on Alex's mullet.

  • The group sing was awesome in a tremendously bad way.

  • Other people living on borrowed time: Didi, Katelyn, Paige, all the guys not named Mike, Casey, Andrew or Lee.
Next week is the last week for the guy/girl silliness, then we're on to individual eliminations. Pretty soon, it will be time for the new DWTS and Clash of the Titans in theaters. Until then . . .

High Lord. Out.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Tonight you get two-fer

I don't know if this is good for your or bad for you . . .

Yesterday, the girls were supposed to go, but because CBX paid a visit to the hospital, the guys got go first. I've read conflicting reports as to whether she'll be on tonight or not; I guess we'll find out as soon as the show starts.

Something in the Idolverse is wrong; our friend Jennifer hasn't posted since last season's finale and our friend Laura is posting a couple of days late. Is everyone breaking up with the show?

The girls are introduced and Crystal is there. Is she singing last? Again. Mrs. High Lord thinks she's pregnant.

Randy babbles a little bit about the guys. He says the guys really want to win. I say Randy's been in Paula's happy juice. Why do we have to sit through the filler? Isn't this show about singing?

First up is CBX, who is half of a pair of twins. Did you know she's a single mom and that she's doing this show for her baby? She's back with her guitar and singing CCR. It's a good choice for her, even though it's slow. Her voice is better than anyone has given her credit, although she is built more for Nashville Star or Rock Star than Idol. As with last week, I'd almost pay money to download her song this week.

Going second is Superflous E. If she sings the mountain climbing song, I'm going to be sick . . . and excuse me, I have to hurl. She's flat through the entire song. Like John last night, she can't afford to be bad while singing from the second spot. I thought everything was terrible. From pitch problems to the song being too big for her, this should definitely land her in major danger of elimination.

I'm really excited about Clash of the Titans. And Iron Man 2.

Lacey and her red hair is next. She gets the random interview before she sings. Last week was rough for her, but this week she takes some of Kara's direct advice. Only she slows the arrangement down way too much. Is this the fault of the musical director or the singers? She peps up and isn't as bad as I expected. Her voice has a couple of odd ticks, but as Randy would say, this was seventeen million gazillion times better than last week.

Batting clean up is TCO GHA who is 17 going on 24. Mike, stop thinking those things about her. Especially when she says she wants you to kiss her. She's singing some Corinne Bailey Rae, which is a good choice for her. It's much better than Antonella's version. She has a little bit of Diana Degarmo fembot in her. I'm just happy someone picked a happy song and is mostly in tune. Simon doesn't think she's trying to win. I think she's sandbagging.

IBG Didi wraps up the first half of the show. I can't decide whether I like her or not. She goes right to the Idol textbook with an old standby. It's better than I expected (I guess that's the good thing about having low expectations; I even enjoyed the Wolverine movie because I didn't go in thinking it would be the second coming of To Kill a Mockingbird). I don't hate it; I don't love it. She's just meh. And she's not as bad as the judges said.

The good news for the girls is that so far, they're light years better than the guys. And the judges are all high.

Have you noticed that Ellen's codephrase for "You look amazing" is "You have a great voice."

My personal fave underdog singer is Michelle, who apparently beatboxes with Didi's meowing. She's singing Creed and she directs a children's choir. Awwwww!!!! Fortunately, she has probably has one of the best two or three voices on the show this year. While she's not as technically adroit as Anwar, she's very good. I think she can sandbag for a couple more weeks before taking the gloves off and going for the kill. What's with the knuckle gloves? The song starts too slow. Unlike most of the guys from last night, she's not afraid to be on stage. The prom dress under a leather jacket over jeans isn't working for me. I don't care of this song, but at least she show's that she can mix it up a little, even if she's saving up for a late charge. I want Michelle to stick around for a while because I want to see more of her hawt sister.

At least Simon acknowledges that sometimes they give contradictory advice about song choice and arrangements.

I'd be happy if Lilly would pick a hair colour that was close to something that was naturally-occurring in human follicles. She has too many runs in the song for my liking. I have a hard time buying her singing Sam Cooke. It's good, but not great.

Still rocking the frizzy hair is Katelyn who tries to tame her do, but apparently can only afford half a shirt. She covers one more shoulder than she did last week. She's the first to rock it with the piano this year. At least she's not singing "Clocks". She also goes slow. I appreciate that she's showing off her voice, which should easily get her through to next week. That and weak performances from Didi and Haeley.

After surviving a poor performance from the Dead Man's Spot last week, Paige gets to go near the end of the order tonight. She manages to shill for one of Idol's sponsors this week in her face time. She makes the mistake of singing a past Idol's song. It's much better than last week, but that's not saying a lot. She's very shouty, which is bad. She also can't hit the high notes, which is even worse. At least she didn't go for a money note at the end which would have surely fallen flat. Oh, and it's a bad idea to sing a song when one of the writers is judging you.

Drawing the Pimp Spot is Don't Call Me "Chiffon". Ryan asks what she needs to focus on tonight and the word bubble above Simon's head says "Your glass blowing." She's taking on Aretha, and I'm looking for Blue Lou. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be, although maybe I should add Aretha to the list to the right that includes Whitney, Mariah and Celine. Surprisingly, her voice isn't drowned out by the song, although it's not as big as this song needs. The screech at the end could have been left off and it would have still been good. I don't think it was worth the placement, but I like her because she's goofy.

The Good
Crystal, "As Long As I Can See the Light"
Katie, "Put Your Records On"

The Bad
Michelle, "With Arms Wide Open"
Lacey, "Kiss Me"
Siobhán, "Think"
Katelyn, "The Scientist"
Lilly, "A Change is Gonna Come"
Paige, "Walk Away"

The Ugly
Didi, "Lean On Me"
Haeley, "The Climb"

This week, I'm picking Jermaine and John to be eliminated this week, although Todrick and Tim are also in play. Alex might also be eliminated because I don't know who's voting for him. Mike and Andrew will easily be safe until the Top 12; face time pays!

Of the girls, even before I've heard Siobhán, I think Didi and Haeley will get whacked, although it could also bee Katelyn, Lilly or Paige.

That's it for me tonight. Tomorrow, I'll be watching the show, but I refuse to live-blog the results shows until the finale because there's way too much filler. At least they didn't bring back the viewer's phone calls.

High Lord. Out.

I'm feeling better

. . . but I'm not feeling better about the guys. After closing out the blog last night, I stayed up and watched the show just to see how they did.

I wasn't impressed.

So tonight, before the girls get their turn on stage, I'm watching the guys no-filler style.

First up is Big Mike. He's singing James Brown. Unfortunately, he's going first. Fortunately, he's among the best of the night. He's the most over-hyped singer this season and I'm not as tired of him that I was of Gokey last year or Archuleta the year before. I liked the arrangement, even if I don't like the song.

John put me to sleep. He needs to make a move . . . and soon! But tonight he just falls flat. He's got a good voice, but keeps picking crappy songs. And he's flat in spots. Why are so many singers going the safe route when they're clearly in danger of getting whacked?

Despite his resemblance to Bucky, Casey was one of my faves of the night. Not because he has the best voice (he doesn't), but because I can actually see him as a musician. While this song has been done before on Idol, Casey is the first to play the guitar himself. I don't know that I'd pay to see him in concert, but I wouldn't turn down free tickets, either.

Next up is Alex's Mullet. There's a used car salesman on US Route 17 who's missing his jacket and he wants it back. His singing is actually pretty good. He just needs a haircut. I like that he's nervous before going on stage. While that doesn't help his chances at winning, it makes him more likable than the beauty pageant singers and karaoke princesses they also have on the show (Diana). That last note was rough, though.

Following the nervous wreck is Todrick, aka "El Bucho". He sings some Tina Turner and it doesn't work for me. I like his attempt at changing the arrangement, but not everybody can be Adam Lambert. His voice isn't as bad as last week. It's just that the song seemed long and plodding.

Taking the stage with too much attitude is Jermaine, who knows God. So do I, and he says that you need to stop texting him. This arrangement not only doesn't work for me, but his voice is all over the map. He tries to do too much with the song instead of just adding a couple of extra twists. I FF through the rest when he hits a rough patch, which is a shame because when he's not throwing in too many runs, he actually has a good tone.

The judges don't know what they want from Andrew. Last week they told him to lose the guitar and just sing. Now they want him to go back to playing the guitar. WTF? I like Andrew, although his voice goes a little nasal a few too many times for my taste.

Drawing the 8 spot is Aaron, who reminds me of a Chinese gymnastics Olympian (because I think in about five years, we're going to find out he's actually 13). I actually like him tonight. Maybe it's because he didn't pick a boring song; yes, "My Girl" was recorded before his parents were born, but at least it's a little upbeat.

Tim is much better when he's singing than when he's talking. He goes the safe (read: boring) route with an acoustic, chick-magnet song. Excuse me, I'm going to take a nap now. Vocally, it's okay, but I just can't get excited about him or any of the other guys to night.

Tonight's lucky recipient of the Pimp Spot is Lee which I thought was better last night than I think watching him again. It's not awful; he's flat much of the time.

The Good

The Bad
Aaron, "My Girl"
Casey, "I Don't Wanna Be"
Lee, "Lips of an Angel"
Alex, "Everybody Knows"
Tim, "Come On Get Higher"
Andrew, "You Give Me Something"
Mike, "This is a Man's Man's World"

The Ugly
Todrick, "What's Love Got to Do With It"
John, "Gravity"
Jermaine, "What's Going On"

Once again, the judges tell some singers they need to make songs their own (John) and others that they need to leave songs alone and just sing them (Jermaine, Todrick).

Overall, the guys ranged from sleep-inducing to cringe-worthy. This is the weakest crop of guys to be on the show. Evah. If they don't inject some life into the show, I'm going to pull a Jennifer and break up with Idol, too.

I'll be back once the girls come on tonight at 8.

Oh, by the way, my hunter is level 45 now. Thanks for asking.

High Lord. Out.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

What's up with the show tonight?

So I turn on the show and at first I think I'm hallucinating. 'Cuz I see Big Mike on the stage and it's supposed to be the girls night. Did I miss something?

I know I'm not feeling well, but this is a little freaky for me. Or is it just my splitting headache that makes me want to turn the show off.

The guys are a weak crop this year, so I think I'm going to give up on the prospect of live-blogging tonight and go to bed early. I'll watch the show on the DVR tomorrow before the girls sing.

I'd also like to make a couple of comments on this crop of DWTS celebs.

First up are the girls. Pam Anderson, Erin Andrews and Nicole Sherzinger. Talk about eye candy. But can they dance? We know Nicole can, but can she dance without a pole? I have it on good authority that her dance style is best described as "flexible".

Then there are the guys. The obvious pre-season faves are Evan Lysacek and Chad Ochocinco.

Of course, DWTS wouldn't be the same without some oddball choices. Buzz Aldrin. Really? Is he going to have a hip replacement mid-season?

I can't stand Nicey Nash on "Clean House" and I don't watch "Reno 911". Shouldn't Jake Pavelka be planning a wedding? Or did he already break up with the girl. There's always ABC's soap opera homer, Aiden Turner. Who?

And of course, Kate Gosselin. While I would stab myself with a spork if I were ever married to her, I think she would be a fun person to hang out with (for a little while). Viewers, of course, will either love her or hate her, even without seeing her take a single step with Tony Dovolani.

A quick perusal of the pro dancer list shows that Julianne is continuing to pursue her far more lucrative country music career than dance for Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris's replacement. Ashly Del Grosso is also MIA (again). Louis and Maks are back, but Future Mrs. High Lord 2.0 Kym Johnson is not.

Apparently, she wanted more money after winning last year and ABC told her to get lost. I'm sad.

It's a good thing I broke up with the show or I'd be tempted to send a nasty email to ABC and be really ticked off.

I'm happy that there isn't a clear front runner, although Nicole and Evan are the obvious front tier. Their problem will be that I don't think they have a large built-in fanbase, as Chad might have with all the football fans who have historically supported the NFL's rep on the show.

I guess we'll find out in about three weeks when the show starts.

Anyway, I'm going to bed early. I'll update you guys on everybody tomorrow.

High Lord. Sick. Out.