Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Idol Results: The Final Five

Just as one of the Final Five Cylons ended up dead at the hands of another, one of the final five Idols will get whacked as the other four move on. Last night's show was another snoozer; I know some people out there love the "standards" nights, but I find them to be derivative (after all, how many different ways can you sing "Mack the Knife"?) and often boring. Last night was no exception and the only nice thing I can say is that at least no one sang "My Way".

Our friends at DialIdol predict Matt will be eliminated although everyone is statistically in play. The general sentiment around the blogosphere is that Allison was on the undeserving end of Simon's criticism and her fans need to work overtime to keep her around.

It's a pretty safe bet that both Gokey and Adam are safe; they've had so much face time and pimpage that it's almost a given that they'll at least be in the top 3. Of course, everyone thought the same thing about Daughtry and look what happened to him.

Kris is quietly hanging around as other singers have fallen by the wayside, much like Jasmine Trias did back in season 3. Allison could possibly sneak into the Top 3 but needs a shocker to make the finale.

Like Scott Savol before him, Matt is this season's Rasputin. We couldn't get rid of him in the opening voting rounds, he made it to the Top 13 through the Wild Card route and then the judges inexplicably saved him. I think Simon's praise of him was more to convince himself that he did the right thing in keeping Matt around than anything he actually believed. I'm not a Matt fan and I find it incomprehensible that Alexis is watching him from home . . . actually, I don't think she's watching; she's mostly likely thrown something heavy through her television when she saw the likes of Anoop and Lil advancing when she didn't.

Before the show starts, I've got some sad news: Julianne Hough won't be back next "season" for DWTS. I'd take this with a grain of salt, though. About this time at the end of last "season", she said she was going to take some time off to pursue her country music career. I don't begrudge her choices, but if each season I have to hear load of "will she/won't she" talk, turning her into the Ballroom Brett Favre, I'll officially replace her with Kym Johnson as the Future Mrs. High Lord.

Has anyone watched the pilot of Caprica, a prequel series to BSG? I'm debating whether to go buy it on DVD or to wait to see it at the beginning of next year when the series starts. It takes place in the same continuity as BSG, only most of the action is planetside, which supposedly will cut down on post-production costs because there are no space shots and CGI to produce.

I'm getting very excited about the new Wolverine movie. I know he's the most popular X-character out there, but I just want to see some good summer action movies. After a host of bad comic book movies of late (including X-Men 3: The Last Stand), I have high hopes for this Hugh Jackman vehicle, as well as the upcoming Iron Man 2, which should be out next year.

Fox starts the night by dissing the Prez and then Seacrest opens the show. We've got what should be a 5 minute show stretched out to 60. Taylor Hicks will be on later, as will Natalie Cole and this week's mentor/shameless pimp, Jamie Foxx.

You'd think that in this economy, someone other than Ford would be willing to pay big bucks to have the car product placement . . . you know, a company that's not in need of public monies to stay afloat.

Are the kids actually singing during the group sing? Of all the "innovations" Ken Warwick brought to the show this season, lip-syncing the group sings is my least favourite. Yes, I hate the taped group numbers more than the fourth judge. I think they're definitely singing live because the audio guy still hasn't been fired.

So who got to clean up the Idols's food fight? Apparently Gokey is paying for it.

Seacrest then goes straight to the results at 9:13. Matt is the first to get the news and he's sent to one side of the stage. Gokey is next and after babbling incomprehensibly for a while, he's sent to the other side of the seal. Allison is third and she's put in the same group as Gokey.

Kris is next and he's put with Matt.

Adam is told he's safe and he gets Georged. Dammit! I thought they were above this crap. I guess not. What was I thinking? Idol taking the high road? Not a chance.

Adam is put in the bottom 3 along with Matt and Kris. You'd think that for someone as self-aware as Adam, he would have known that all he needs to do is sit in the middle of the stage until Seacrest sends them to break.

Paula is spilling out of her dress and rambling incoherently.

One interesting note about these results: In the last three weeks, the person singing last has landed in the bottom 3 each time and been eliminated once. I think they're intentionally trying to dilute the power of the The Pimp Spot.

Of course that means Allison and Gokey are safe. I am breathing a huge sigh of relief right now; I thought Allison was gone fo' sho'.

It seems that Adam's voters got complacent last night. Either that or the results are rigged. Before the Adam's fans get too incensed, remember that 1) even Rueben Studdard made an appearance in the bottom 3 before he won, and 2) with only five singers left, 60% of them are in the bottom 3. I think he'll be sent to safety just as soon as Natalie is done singing.

She's so much better than the bad 70s disco retreads they had on last week. Unfortunately, she's there to plug for her tour and her new CD, not just sing.

With most of the results already in, now it's time to kill some time. Taylor Hicks makes his triumphant(?) return to the show, having lost some weight and cut his hair. Has anyone seen him concert? He strikes me as the type of performer who puts on a good live show even if his albums are mediocre. VCM probably should have won that year, but Taylor is as good on stage as he always was.

Before cutting to commercial, Seacrest sends Kris to safety, meaning that either Matt or Adam will get cut in about 20 minutes. My jaw is on the floor! Adam? In danger? The streets will run red with blood . . . er, sequins . . . if he is sent home tonight!

Next up is Jamie Foxx singing his latest song. Does he really have more than one Grammy? Despite my cynicism at the motivations of many of the Idol mentors, it seems that Jamie tried his best to help the kids out, and that's all I can ask. He didn't seem like he was obviously only about the paycheck or the automatic boost in sales for his latest CD. I still could have done without him taking the stage.

I have an idea for Idol: Get Journey with Arnel Pineda to come sing on the results show and Randy can join them on the bass guitar. Or he could play the air guitar when they sing "Separate Ways".

We come back from the break and Mrs. High Lord has vowed to boycott the remainder of the season if Adam is eliminated tonight.

Seacrest reminds us about the 47 million votes that were cast and then quickly declares Adam safe.

It looks like Matt's luck has finally run out. I'd say he was kept around about five weeks too long. I'm happy for him that he made it this far, but I'm ready to say goodbye to Matt and the mole on his forehead that would probably qualify as the fifth of the Greater Antilles.

Next week's alleged mentor is Slash for "rock" week, which should be good for Allison and Adam; I'd worry if I were Kris or Gokey.

I wonder if each of the kids is going to get two songs next week or if there's going to be even more filler.

And look . . . Bruce Gowers finished the show under time, even as Seacrest brings Matt back on stage after he's done singing for some quick face time and yappage by the judges.

High Lord. Out.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Idol's Final 5

In years past, the top 5 has usually meant that everyone got to sing two songs. Now, that has apparently gone by the wayside as the show refuses to cut out filler, guest mentors, product placement and the yapping by the judges. So that means in a 61 minute show, there will be 7½ minutes of singing and 53½ minutes of the other crap.

I never thought I'd say this, but my god, I miss Nigel!

In other news, I think I'm finally over the Spring allergy/hay fever attack that hit me earlier this week. My car is covered in pollen and I hate to take it to the car wash since it's supposed to rain later this week. I'll be glad in a couple of weeks when the pollen count drops and I can go back to living my life without taking a Claratin and 12 hour sudafed first thing every morning.

One interesting thing in the news today: Long-time Republican senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania switched parties today, bringing the Democrats to 59, or one short of the "magic number" needed to break any filibuster in the Senate (it used to be 66). I say this is interesting because to me is shows how far to the right the Republican Party has swung.

The historical pattern of this country has been on consensus, compromise and what amounts to a coalition of moderates. However, with the election of Reagan in 1980 and the prevalence of the fundy Christian Right, the Republicans have done their darndest to alienate the very voters who kept them in power for so long. Now, it seems the Republican Party has decided that they are going to cater solely to their base and they don't care who defects.

Specter has always been a moderate and much like John McCain, has often been a thorn in the side of his own party's leadership as he has been for the Democrats. Now it seems that in an effort to get re-elected next year, he's switched parties, much like many in Pennsylvania have done.

I bring this up because it is a bad idea for one party to control both houses of Congress and the presidency. It always has been. Just look what Dubya and his cronies did to our country for six years before the Dems got a majority in Congress in 2006. Left without checks, one party (it doesn't matter which one) tends to run up deficits, spend money on their own pet projects and we all pay for it.

It doesn't bother me in the least to see the Republicans imploding, but I do worry that in driving out the moderating forces that keep the party relevant, we are moving closer to one-party rule, which is a very bad thing.

What heartens me is that there is a new generation of young Republican leaders who are seeking to moderate the party, reduce the influence of the fundy Christians and get the party back to its roots (small government, fiscal responsibility, letting people live their lives without other people telling them how to do it). The first thing the Republican party needs to do is acknowledge that the eight years of the Dubya/Cheney regime was rife with mistakes.

Both parties need to move away from being driven by ideology and turn to working pragmatically. It's a hard thing to do in the 24-hour news cycle we live in. We all need to recognise that the news outlets aren't driven by the desire to convey information; they are there to make money. And the way to make money isn't to cater to middle where most of us live, it's to let the extreme wings run their yaps. That's why hot air generators like Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter have jobs.

Without knowing them individually, I'd say that they are more interested in getting people to watch their TV shows and buy their books than fostering real change in this country. After all, none of them actually have to do anything or be accountable. All they have to do is sell advertising.

I hope that you, dear readers, are interested enough in politics to let your elected officials (local, state and national) know how you feel and let them know that if they are not properly representing you, that you will see to it that someone else is elected to do their job. The success of our republic is predicated on having an informed and participating electorate. If you are a registered voter, please realise your responsibility and take a part in your government. After all, it's only our future that's at stake.

One more thing before the show starts: Wash your hands! I'm sure you've read ad nauseum about the swine flu outbreak that's happening here and around the world. It's only the flu, people! There are ways to avoid getting it and to avoid spreading it. As we live in a country where health care is generally good and widely available, it stands to reason that the majority of victims will be poor and have poor access to health care. Still, the best way to avoid getting sick is to keep yourself clean and stay away from situations where you might contract a virus.

Now, it's time for Idol!

The theme tonight is "Rat Pack standards" which favour just about everyone except Allison. I'm hoping that this is the week when we finally get rid of Matt (now that the judges can't save him . . . again).

With everyone singing only one song, it means Seacrest can kill a lot of time with his inane banter (boo!). Will someone please remind me why there is a "big band" theme? Do we think anyone other than John Stevens is actually going to put out an album with one of these songs on it? If they want to have a Vegas themed week, why can't they go back to the Elvis songbook.

This week's inexplicable mentor is Jamie Foxx. I guess if Quentin Tarantino qualifies as a mentor for movie week, Foxx couldn't do any worse.

It's 8:05 and Kris is introduced as going in the Dead Man's Spot. Of course he can't just sing; we have to have a commercial first. Now it's 8:10 and they're just starting the taped intro segment that was skipped (and not missed) last week. He goes AFE on us with a ballad. He's not as good as he was last week. He sticks to a straight, big band arrangement. It works (except for "the false"), but to me it was uninspiring.

Next go (at 8:23) is Allison who I worry about. She's struggled to find voters, having landed in the bottom 3 almost as often as Suzie McNeil did. Who is she getting her fashion advice from? Ken, Allison is having a Code Blue Wardrobe Emergency. I think she shot Björk's swan and made it into a skirt. Like Kris, she gives an uninspiring and boring rendition of an 80 year old song. If the rest of the the night is the same, one of you guys will need to call and wake me up.

Is anyone else missing Idol Gives Back? Didn't think so.

Matt is once again using the fedora to cover up the mole that dominates his fivehead. I don't understand why he's still around. As usual, he throws too many vocal tricks into the song and makes too many weird and painful faces. I just had to get up and walk around the room to keep from falling asleep on my living room floor. Of course, that could also be our new California berber. It was 8:33 when he started singing. I think the judges are going to slurp him, but I just didn't like it. I still can't believe Alexis is watching from home and the judges used their save on this joker.

Before tonight, the most boring show in the history of Idol was this year's movie night, but this episode is quickly eclipsing that one. What are they thinking in picking a theme where all the songs are over 50 years old?

Beginning at 8:44, MWJD is the singer I least want to win. I also think he's horribly overrated and aside from his late wife, I don't think he would have gotten this far in other seasons. Like Matt, he makes a bunch of awkward and unattractive faces. The vocals are actually some of the best we've heard tonight, mostly because he doesn't try to do too much . . . at least until he starts shouting at the end. The judges start to run their yaps and the fawning begins.

I much preferred K-Mac's version of this song, and not just 'cuz she's smokin' hawt.

Landing in the Pimp Spot for the second time this season is EBA. His hair is somewhere between the emo cut he started this season with and the pompadour that I prefer. Curiously, of the five remaining singers, only Gokey has not gotten to sing from the last spot in the order. He starts singing at 8:55, which means the judges will have to cut their critiques short to come in under time. After four mediocre performances, I'm hoping his delivers the show from the depths of boredom to which it has sunk repeatedly this season. Once again, he starts with the stage dark and backlit. And once again, he shows that as a vocalist, he has more range than the other four put together. Unlike his manic, "Play That Funky Music", he manages to energise the show without going too far over the top (until that last money note). Paula nearly has an orgasm in her chair.

The Good
Adam, "Feeling Good"

The Bad
Kris, "The Way You Look Tonight"
Allison, "Someone to Watch Over Me"
Danny, "Come Rain or Come Shine"

The Ugly
Matt, "My Funny Valentine"

Of all the themes they've had on the show, this is perhaps the worst. Especially this late in the season. When we should be entering the final stretch and hearing songs that will soon be on the satellite radio, they make the kids sing songs that are over five decades old. I hope that next year they ditch crappy themes like this one.

With only five singers left, there probably won't be a bottom 3, but here are my picks.

Who should go home:

Who will go home:

That's right, I'm picking the last remaining singer who was born female to get whacked tomorrow. I think she's flirted with elimination way too much over the past several weeks and it finally catches up to her. The theme tonight didn't help her, nor will going early in the show.

DWTS Results

I watched the team dances last night and while I enjoyed the mambo, the team tango was far and away the better of the group dances. It was technically superior and although it wasn't as fun, it was a better dance. The music was lousy, but the dancing was great.

I'm going to publish now and come back to the results show because I really don't need to see Robin Thicke or the professional dance competition.

I just saw Lil Kim & Derek and Ty & Chelsie declared safe. I'm hoping this means Chuck will be eliminated next (although it could also be Melissa). The next couple declared safe are Gilles & Cheryl, which only affirms the superiority of the team tango last night.

There are eleven minutes left in the show and three couples facing elimination. Tom announces Shawn & Mark as being safe. I really hope her one bad week doesn't mean Melissa is getting canned. At the same time, if she's really hurt, a break in the dancing to let that broken rib heal could be the best thing for her.

I just really don't want to have to see Chuck dancing with the Future Mrs. High Lord again.

After a not-so-quick commercial break, there's some scary music and then we find out that Chuck & Julianne are going home. The judges had it right tonight; based on last night alone, Melissa deserved to go, but from their overall bodies of work (and Melissa's is one helluva body!), Melissa clearly deserved a chance to make the finale. We'll just see if her ribs hold up.

I'm going to miss Julianne, though.

High Lord. Out.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Is it finally Ty's week to go?

In last week's elimination show, no one was happier to get booted off than Lawrence Taylor. The next logical choice to go is nice-guy Ty Murray, who is clearly in over his head at this point. Unless he has a stellar week, he's as good as gone tomorrow.

I'm not feeling very well tonight, so don't expect a big long post. After all, it's seasonal allergy season. Plus Mrs. High Lord's carpet arrived last Friday, so I'm hopped up on sudafed, generic Claratin and ibuprofin.

While we're waiting for the show to start, check out this video from the Sci-Fi Channel about the best show to be on TV for the past four years.

It's a catchy tune. So catchy, in fact, it has replaced the Wii "Advanced Step" music as the annoying song I hum to myself at work.

In other news, how about the slate of movies coming out this summer? This week, the Wolverine movie hits the theaters and it is quickly followed by Terminator: Salvation, Star Trek, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and the live-action G.I. Joe movie in August. I will probably go see them all in the theater . . . you know, to stimulate the economy.

Tonight the six remaining couples are doing one latin dance they haven't done before and then the dreaded team dance. The stars are introduced and it's immediately evident that Melissa is out. Does this mean she'll automatically be eliminated? Or will we have to call in on her dress rehearsal performance?

First up are Gilles and Cheryl with the lindy hop. Mrs. High Lord doesn't recognise him when he's not in a shower (although she could probably pick his butt out of a line-up). He's pleading injury this week. One of the bad side effects of expanding the field is that it gives everybody an extra week to hurt themselves. They are having synchronisation problems and are generally just off their game. He tries to be manic to cover, but it just seemed like it was forced. The judges must have been watching a different performance than I saw because they gush all over him.
The Judges's Scores: 9-9-9
The High Lord's Score:

How 'bout Carl Edwards going airborne and almost landing his car in the stands? That was one helluva wreck. And then he jogged across the finish line.

With Lil and her "rounds" gone from Idol, it's up to Lil Kim to represent for all the babies with a lotta back out there. She and Derek are up with the paso, and I have a feeling it's going to be good. At least her booty is poppin' in the intro filler piece. Derek proves why he's the defending champ; the choreography is perfectly in-character and it plays to Kim' many strengths. I see 10s in their future.
The Judges's Scores: 9-9-10
The High Lord's Score:

What's up with the judges? I thought for sure Carrie Ann at least would have given them a 10.

Wrapping up the first half of the show are Chuck and Julianne. I don't know what it is about him, but I don't care for him (and it's not just because he's dating the Future Mrs. High Lord in real life). I think he's clearly in the second tier this season and he may be eliminated this week instead of Ty if he has an off week. This week he's wearing blue pajamas. They're doing the cha-cha-cha. He needs to open his arms and get more extension. Compared to some of the others who are left, he still looks kind of stiff. I think he's still around because people are voting for Julianne as much (if not more) as for him.
The Judges's Scores: 9-9-8
The High Lord's Score: 8

Tonight 9 is the new 8.

Shawn and Mark are next and if they start wearing the "Vote for Shawn and Mark" shirts again, I promise that I will actually vote for them. They get some help from Mamma Ballas (when is she going to be on the show?). Their samba (fortunately) isn't creepy, although for the first time, I see her doing the counting thing. It was okay; better than Chuck and Gilles, not even close to Lil Kim. Len is taking his role as the East German judge a little too seriously.
The Judges's Scores: 10-8-9
The High Lord's Score:

We get a quick recap of Melissa and Tony's week. She's also injured, only she isn't on the show tonight. I think 13 couples is at least three too many, although if they cut the field down to 8 couples, I wouldn't be sorry. That extra month of dancing means there are five extra weeks for the celebs to blow out their achilles or break a rib. Dancing in jeans and a sports bra may actually be good for her because Melissa needs votes in a big way. Like Steve-O, we see and the judges score their rehearsal performance. Overall, it's not a bad jive, even if they don't have the live performance intensity. She misses a couple of steps, which will hurt her scores. I guess getting low scores from the judges is better than being eliminated. At least the audience gets its chance to have her say.
The Judges's Scores: 7-7-7
The High Lord's Score:

The last of the celebs to dance are Ty and Chelsie. As much as I like him, it's clearly his time to go. Assuming that the show is meritocracy (it is more than Idol), Ty is the worst dancer left; he's bouyed only by his aw-shucks charm, otherwise he'd have been gone about three weeks ago. Check out the gun show he's putting on; I think his biceps are bigger around than my neck. He also really needs a spray-on tan . . . and whomp! there it is. They're doing the salsa, which I see as a good-natured trainwreck. His hip action is severely lacking, but he's got a bunch of other good moves. Smartly, he let's Cheslie carry much of the dance, but it's much better than I thought it was going to be. Len was undeservedly mean on a night when he was good.
The Judges's Scores: 9-7-8
The High Lord's Score: 8

Now we're on to the scored team dances, which I'm not going to score. Tomorrow night, we get the Rat Pack on Idol and then the DWTS results. With any luck, I'll be feeling better and can blog a little more.

High Lord. Out.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Idol math: a 60 minute show in 63 minutes

With Idol (read: Simon) saving Matt last week, that means there is no parachute left for the singers this week. It also means that two people are going to get whacked tonight.

Are we in for a shocker? (And I'm not talking about the kind that's one finger away from a Spocker!)

According to our friends at DialIdol, no one is statistically safe this week. That means anyone could get eliminated. Emphasis on "could".

They also predict that Lil was unexpectedly the highest vote-getter and Kris was the lowest. My question is this: are they combining last week's and this week's results? Or are two people going to be kicked off based on last night's voting alone?

I would like to see Danny gone simply because I don't understand his charm and he seems to be skating by on his reputation rather than his vocal abilities. However, I don't think he'll be kicked off this week or next week. He may be gone in 4th place, but probably not before.

If there's a shocker this week, it will be Allison, who is the consensus best girl left standing. Her problem is that she desperately needs someone to give her fashion advice and she doesn't seem to have as many fans as some of the others because she's inexplicably been in the bottom 3 a couple of times.

Kris could also be eliminated tonight because as nice as he seems, he's also a little plain and doesn't seem to inspire the same kind (and scale) of rabid following that Adam or Danny has. I don't think he's going to win, but I don't think this is his week to go.

Obvious choices for elimination are the first and last singers of the night: Lil and Anoop. Last week Lil was given the Pimp Spot and still landed in the bottom 3. This week, she got shafted with the Dead Man's Spot which would seem to signal her death knell. Of course, history has shown that when Simon has openly rooted for someone's ouster as he did for Lil last night, the audience tends to vote overtime just to spite him.

At this stage in the "competition", each singer needs to do two things:
  1. Galvanise their core of powervoters. By now, the viewing public has a pretty good opinion (positive or negative) of each singer. The people who are going to call or text for someone two dozen or two hundred times a night are pretty much already committed to their singer. The trick for each singer is to make sure their powervoters come out in force. If they get complacent, their singer could be in danger. Remember when Rueben made a trip to the bottom 3? That's the danger for each singer. His powervoters all thought someone else would vote for the big guy from 205 and he got a much-needed scare.

  2. Pick up the powervoters of the person who was most recently kicked off. This is what separates the winners from the also-rans. It's also where the polarising singers will run into trouble. Since no voter were freed up after last week, we shouldn't expect the results this week to be much different, which is why I'm betting Matt gets the boot tonight despite the save. Chris Daughtry was victimised by this trend back in season 5; he was an OTP who didn't garner new voters as the season wore on. The most likely singer this season is Danny. While there are a lot of people out there who lurve the guy, there are an equal number who think he exploited the death of his wife in a cheap ploy for sympathy votes and don't want to see him win.

    If a singer can hang around and not make enemies, they might find themselves advancing not necessarily because of their own merits, but because they were simply among the last ones standing. This is what happened to Jasmine back in season 3.
I think Adam has a strong fanbase and has shown that he is versatile and interesting. Earlier this season, I said I didn't think he was picking up new voters, but I've revised that opinion and now I believe he is trying to appeal to a broader audience and for the most part, it's working.

Anoop is in a lot of danger because I don't think he's picking up new voters and he always seems to be in the bottom 3. To me, that says he's just skating by and on a bad night (which is what he had last night), he could be gone.

Last night, I picked Lil and Matt to be the ones who will be eliminated. I'm standing by those picks, although it would not surprise me if Anoop and Lil are the ones who get the boot. I think TPTB may intervene and make "the call" to keep Matt around. If he's kicked off this week, it may expose the save as being nothing more than the cheap stunt it was.

On to the show . . .

After the intro, I am left wondering if this is American Idol or So You Think You Can Dance. The group sings this year weren't as bad as last year, so what's up with all the lip-synching? If this is a "singing competition", then there should be more singing!

We're 14 minutes into the show, and here's the tally so far: 1 iTunes product placement, 1 crappy Ford commercial and 1 poorly lip-synched disco tune.

First to get their results is Lil, and she's sent to the far side of the stage, where she is immediately eliminated. At first I thought they were going to George someone, but Lil's ouster was mercifully quick and mostly drama-free. I think everyone saw this coming. If you didn't, you haven't been paying attention this season.

This season, seven singers have lead off the show. Three have been safe, three have been put in the bottom 3 and one was eliminated. That's 57 percent to either be in danger or to be eliminated.

I was hoping that while Lil was singing, her mom would bum-rush the judges's table and start beating Simon over the head with her purse.

After Fox pays some bills, Freda Payne comes out and sings a medley of Disco songs. Mabye she should be lip-synching. Thelma Houston is much better; she was good on Hit Me, Baby, One More Time, too. Where is the rest of the Sunshine Band to go along with KC? I'm just happy that the guest singers they've got on the show who aren't former Idols aren't there to shill for their latest CD. I almost wanted to get up and dance.

There are six singers left and we seem to be back in standard results mode.

First to get their results is Kris, who is safe. Adam is next and he's safe, too. Duh. His hair has gone from being emo to being Beavis's, only dyed black.

Danny is next and he'll be safe, too. He babbles on for a while . . . wait, he meditates? Yup, he's safe.

Seacrest asks Anoop to stand and he's in the bottom 3. Here's some math for you Seacrest: there are two singers left and two empty stools, that means they're both in the bottom 3. I know I have a bias about math (since my people are genetically good at it), but you'd think even the idiots at 19E/Fremantle would have figured something this easy out by now . . .

Instead of a bottom 3, there is a bottom 2: Anoop and Allison. I guess Lil was the third.

Fox pays some more bills and then we welcome back last year's golden boy: David Archuleta. He's a breathy as always and I still can't understand his charm or why people thought his voice was so great. Especially when he hits those flat notes. At least The Arch isn't speaking and I don't have to listen to his super-annoying giggle.

There are six minutes left in the show and it's time for results . . .

With little fanfare, Anoop is put out of our misery and eliminated. Over the past five seasons, this is the earliest someone has ever been put eliminated after singing from the Pimp Spot. Remember, the only other person to be kicked off after singing last was Anthony Fedorov back in season 4, and even then that was in week 9, not week 7. This is also the first time that both the person singing first and the person singing last got whacked in the same week.

Anoop's ouster shouldn't surprise anyone but him. His problem is that when he was good, he was good, and when he was bad, he was bad. I think he kept singing the same basic song over and over. He tried to be this season's balladeer and when he tried other things, he was either holding back or it just didn't turn out well.

Lil has gone from being a TCO to being dropped like a hot potato. Her problem is that the judges had already decided that she should be Mary J. and when she tried, they told her she didn't match up, and when she tried something different, they told her it wasn't what they wanted.

At the beginning of the season, I think Lil had an outside shot at winning but Anoop was a long shot from the beginning. After all, he had to be given the wild card and then was squeezed into the top 13 as the 13th singer. To me, he's been on borrowed time since the finals started and is lucky to have come this far.

Does anyone know what the theme is next week?

I think Matt needs a big night or he'll be gone.

Also props where props are due: Way to go, Bruce Gowers, the show wrapped up in exactly 60 minutes. See? It can be done.

High Lord. Out.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

61 minutes of Disco

At least that's what my DVR tells me we're in for tonight. In all actuality, the show will probably run over. Unless Bruce Gowers got fired. Doubt it, though.

The Washington Post had an article that bashes the new format in which each singer only got critiques from two of the judges instead of the entire panel of four. Thankfully, that is now gone, only what are they going to do in order to come in under time? Chronically going over time is something that is not only infuriating the Fringe fans, but local affiliates, which are seeing their local news broadcasts (and accompanying ad revenues) shrink.

Of course, the problem isn't the fourth judge. While Kara seems superflous, adding a new voice is probably a good idea since the other three have become so predictable. If Idol doesn't want to cut out any of the other filler, they have to get rid of a judge, and in my opinion is should not be Kara. The logical choice is Randy, who used to be the most technical and knowledgeable of the judges, but now that he's gone ghetto and can't speak English anymore, he's become expendable.

Paula is too valuable, both as the lone cheerleader for the bad singers and because she is wildly unpredictable in terms of what she says and does. Simon is simply unexpendable. He is often the singular voice of reason on the panel. My only problem with him is that he lets Seacrest goad him too much.

That brings me to another of my pet peeves about the show: If this is a "singing competition" there should be more singing. Less of Seacrest's giant ego that ditched Dunkleman. Less blather out of the host. Think back to Dick Clark . . . what made him great? The show wasn't about him. It was about his guests. A good host is invisible.

Contrary to what Seacrest believes, no one is tuning in to watch him. His job is to keep things moving, not stop it with some lame joke or a cheap shot at Simon.

If Ken Warwick & company want to keep the four judge panel, that's fine. But something has to go. Whether it's filler, advertisements (which we know won't happen) or incessant yapping by the host, something needs to be done to get the show back on track. I think ratings are either up or holding steady because people are staying home and watching TV due to the recession, not because the show is necessarily any better this season. If the economy picks back up, I think ratings will drop if Nigel is not brought back to right the ship.

In other news, there are rumours that Simon may leave Idol. At first I thought this was preposterous; after all, the show makes him gazillions of dollars, but after some thought, it would not surprise me. Let's face it: American Idol needs Simon more than Simon needs American Idol.

He already has more money than god. He's on Pop Idol, Britain's Got Talent and is associated with other projects and brands. Why would he want the headache of American Idol anymore? In some ways, I feel he thinks the show has run its course. The seasons have started running together, he's recycling the same bland insults and the show has not generated a bona fide superstar since Carrie Underwood in Season 4. So why fly back and forth from London to LA three or four times a week?

What will Idol do if Cowell quits? I'll bet the franchise folds within two seasons.

I don't think he'll quit after next season, but don't be surprised if he's gone the year after.

One of my eight readers sent me an email and asked me address Susan Boyle's appearance on Britain's Got Talent and her subsequent viral infiltration of the interweb. In case you've been living under a rock, you can view her on YouTube (I'd post the video here, but embedding has been disabled).

I like Susan. What I find refreshing about her is that she is basically unfiltered. Idol used to be that way. But now, the people who go on know they're playing a game and there's no spontaneity. Each is a shill for votes, and I think the almost naive way some of the singers in the first three seasons acted is now a thing of the past.

Maybe Diana Degarmo is to blame. As much as I like her, her beauty queen persona put some people off and I think paved the way for those who came later (FRC, Chris Sligh, Adam) who know everything they do is going to be dissected and discussed ad nasueum on the internets, message boards and anywhere The Google will reach.

Idol used to be a singing competition. In some ways, America's/Britain's Got Talent still are. Though in the future both of those shows will start seeing performers who are much more self-aware than they are now.

What I also like about Susan is the quality of her singing. If the other shows truly were "singing competitions" there would be lots more Susan Boyles on TV and fewer Haley Scarnatos. I wonder, though, what it is about Susan that intrigues us.

Is it that we have forgotten that we are supposed to live in a meritocracy, where people are judged and valued for their talents and accomplishments, and not the innate circumstances of their births? If she were in another body (and twenty years younger), she would be wiping the floor with this year's crop of Idol finalists. Yet she's not and people are amazed.

Do we feel better because we stand and applaud the one unattractive woman who can sing while ignoring all the others we pass by on a daily basis? Think back to the (female) singers who have been on Idol. When was the last time one of them was truly unattractive?


This only applies to the girls because we have a double-standard about beauty. Men are okay if they don't meet the generalised standards of beauty, but heaven forbid that a woman be plain or unattractive and be judged on her talents alone.

Back to my original question: When was the last time a "frumpy" woman was on Idol? Even some of the girls who are outside the standard concept (read: waif-like) of what is considered attractive in America were still pretty. K-Lo. Mandisa. Amy Adams. J-Hud. None of them were "old" and none of them had frizzy hair and double chins. And if they stuck around long enough, they lost a bunch of weight and got make-overs.

I think what Susan Boyle does for us is remind us (collectively) that people cannot be judged by their appearance. Should her singing voice surprise us? Probably not. Yet it does anyway because we didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.

The reality of our world, both on TV and in our daily lives, is that image matters. Appearance matters. When you meet someone, whether you want to admit it or not, you judge them based on the way they look. I do it. I know you do, too. What I hope Susan Boyle does for you (and by extension, for all of us) is to not rush to the easy conclusion.

Now on to the show . . .

Last week the judges inexplicably used their "historic" save on a singer who has no chance to win. Now we're stuck with seven singers when there should only be six. Of course, the bright side of all this means that two people (probably Matt and Anoop) will be eliminated tomorrow night.

MSNBC says either Danny or Adam is going to win and I can't really argue. Here are the odds I give to the seven remaining singers (note that I do not endorse gambling):

Matt - 10,000 to 1
Anoop - 2,000 to 1
Lil - 100 to 1
Kris - 50 to 1
Allison - 10 to 1
Danny - 5 to 1
Adam - 3 to 1

I still believe there will be a "shocking" elimination and that the person who will unexpectedly get whacked is Adam. For the most part, the singers have been voted off in a fairly predictable manner, but each season it seems that at least once a season, someone's voters get complacent or they have a bad week and someone is eliminated out of the blue. I'm guessing that happens in two or three weeks.

Seacrest starts the show by pacing about the stage and then running his yap. The theme is disco and Lil starts singing without a filler intro piece at 8:03. Maybe Idol is listening to me. I like her singing Chaka Khan, something very few people can pull off. Last week, I predicted that she would have a good week, and she delivers. She's no LaToya London, but this was her best outing since the voting rounds started. Going first will not help her, though. Last week, she was in the Pimp Spot and was still relegated to the Bottom 3; going in the Dead Man's Spot is certain doom.

Randy didn't like Lil and Kara is his parrot. If they have the same opinion all the time, why keep them both?

Kris gets the sit-down interview and has his guitar to sing Donna Summer. I like the non-disco disco song. I'm not a Kris fan, but this is a very good arrangement and performance. When singers have gone "unplugged" the result is usually good. Think of Adam's "Tracks of My Tears" or VCM's "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree", and this is easily in the same league. Plus, it's a song about a hooker, and that's never bad. Who was that guy cheering for him? Did he eat Kris's wife?

It's 8:22 and two singers have gone. There's less filler and they're already behind.

Next up is MWJD with some Earth, Wind & Fire. He's got yet another pair of glasses. The good news is that it seems the singers have gotten the "no ballad" memo. The bad news is that despite missing a couple of marks and doing a lot of shouting, the judges are going to slurp him right up. His performance was good, but the vocals were spotty. Why is that Randy will gloss over Danny's shortcomings when he rips into Lil for doing the same things? Paula already has written him into the finals.

Allison is bringing a rock take to Donna Summer. I like it, although I bet the judges don't. The one truth of both Allison and Amanda Overmeyer is that we already know how everything they sing is going to sound. My argument is that when the singers get to the "real" world, they're going to be singing in the same basic style anyway, and if it works, good for them. Allison's problem is that at this point, she may be falling into the Chris Daughtry trap; that is, she's not picking up new singers as the others fall by the wayside. She could also be a "shocker" elimination, especially given that she's been into the bottom 3 on several occasions.

With his big pompadour, EBA looks like he's three feet taller than Seacrest. Last week, he was the only one who didn't go the power ballad route, but he's the only one so far who's gone there tonight. His head if frickin' huge. While I'm not a fan of this song or the arrangement, what it does is show off his vocal range, at least until the screeching starts. I also like the performance; compared to last week's manic, all-over-the-stage hustle, just standing there and singing the song is a good move. Paula must know something we don't because she's guaranteed a spot for Adam and Danny in the finale.

The ads for Glee make me want to link to this video.

Who knew an Asian guy could sing Steve Perry without the huge schnozz? (I certainly can't sing like Steve)

He got saved last week (I guess he found Jesus!), and now Matt is wearing a fedora to cover up the third eye in the middle of his forehead. It's 8:48 and there are still two people left to sing. He steps out from behind the piano and actually tries to dance. Unfortunately, he doesn't ditch "the false", too. I don't hate it (at least until the end), which is as close to an endorsement that I can come. I think he'll be gone tomorrow. Again.

Drawing the Pimp Spot is Anoop, who needs a breakthrough performance to stave off elimination for another week. He's also singing Donna Summer and it doesn't really work for me, which is a shame since he can really sing. The arrangement was odd; starting slow and then speeding up (a little) seemed like he was trying to be Adam, but not succeeding. Was he trying to make the song into a ballad?

The Good
Kris, "She Works Hard For the Money"
Adam, "If I Can't Have You"

The Bad
Lil, "I'm Every Woman"
Allison, "Hot Stuff"
Matt, "Stayin' Alive"
Danny, "September"

The Ugly
Anoop, "Dim the Lights"

With two people being eliminated tomorrow, I don't know that there will be a bottom 3.

Who should go home:
Anoop, Matt

Who will go home:
Lil, Matt

I don't think he's got enough voters to stick around and I think this will be the first time since Nikko Smith that the same singer gets eliminated two weeks in a row.

I'm going to switch over to DWTS to watch Celtic Woman, then we'll see you tomorrow for the big Idol results show.

DWTS Results

Look, it's Ashly's little sister. I miss you Ashley! Come back to me and I promise I'll suck up to you like I do Kym and Julianne!

I was just watching the Journey video I posted and it dawned on me how much Arnel Pineda looks like one of my former college roommates. Come to think of it, I've never seen Arnel and Blobbo in the same room . . . . coincidence? I think not.

Mrs. High Lord thinks Ty is going to get whacked tonight. I think it will be Lawrence. Either, or . . . it doesn't matter; which ever of the two survives tonight will get eliminated next week.

It's good to see Celtic Woman on a channel other than PBS. I wish they had shown more the of the singers than the dancers I didn't know.

What happened to the dance off?

After all the filler, Lawrence and Edyta are eliminated. I'll bet he's happy he can go back to the golf course. Even though Ty isn't "necessarily" the next lowest in combined scores, surely he's got to be close.

I like Lawrence, even if he never had a chance to win. At least he was trying. I'm almost going to miss Edyta's barely there costumes, but it seems she started choreographing for her partner instead of herself this season. With a little luck, she'll get a good partner next season and be in the running for a top 3 finish (after Kym and Julianne, of course).

Tomorrow, we get a two-fer elimination on Idol. Yessssssssss!

High Lord. Out.

Monday, April 20, 2009

The longest season of "Dancing" . . .evah

Is it just me or is this season dragging on and on and on?

Maybe it's because the season started with 13 couples and from day 1, it was pretty much destined to be a three-horse race, making 10 of the celebs superflous. Maybe it's because like Idol, after a certain amount of time the seasons just start to run together. After all, how may different ways can the paso doble be presented?

I also think they're down to scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as celebs. A- and B-list celebs won't touch the show with a 10-foot poll. If they go too far down the D-list, everyone will wonder "Who the hell is that?"

There are seven couples left and the one nice thing about DWTS is that there's pretty much a guarantee that no one is going to get Georged (no celeb would tolerate the humiliation Seacrest and Idol pawn off on the kids on that other show).

The show is 92 minutes long and somehow it always comes in under time, even with all the filler. Maybe it's because the judges don't usually waste everyone's time sniping at each other and the director knows how to keep the show moving along at a respectable clip. Tonight everyone is taking part in the group dance but also doing one dance they have not done this far this season.

Unlike Idol, the show starts, the celebs are introduced and then the dancing starts. First up are Melissa and Tony. They're doing the Argentine tango and don't hesitate to pass up the chance at some ABC product placement. When is Teri Hatcher going to be on the show? I think I like the regular tango better; this is way too serious. Plus Harold Wheeler screwed them with crappy music. Who picks the songs? They should be fired. It was good, but not great. Maybe I just need to watch more Argentine tangos. Based on the judges's comments, maybe Tony has learned that it's his job not to kill the celeb with his choreography.
The Judges's Scores: 10-9-10
The High Lord's Score: 8

Next to go are Lawrence and Edyta, who is wearing way to much clothes. How long into the dance until she loses the robe and reveals the lingerie underneath? Their dance is the waltz and I think he needs a really strong performance to avoid being eliminated. He looks kind of stiff but overall he's not bad. Having a slow song helps. Graceful he's not, but Edyta covers well. I give them an A- for effort, but I think they're going to get savaged by the judges. It's bad when Carrie Ann resorts to "the dress is beautiful". I think low expectations will help them.
The Judges's Scores: 7-7-7
The High Lord's Score: 7

Going in the three-hole are Lil Kim and Derek with the rumba. She is a very pretty girl, and I don't mean that compared to other former prison inmates. If her dress were blue, she'd be like Jasmine (the most underratedly hawt of the Disney princesses. As usual, Derek choreographs a good dance for his partner. He doesn't ask her to do too much, but there's also enough content in it to make the dance to make it pleasing for the judges. After last week's manic jive, this was a nice, romantic interlude.
The Judges's Scores: 9-8-9
The High Lord's Score:

Marking the half-way point in the show are Chuck and the Future Mrs. High Lord. He could also be on the chopping block because I just can't understand who's voting for him. I think the votes he's getting are actually for Julianne. I'm surprised this show doesn't come with a TV-MA rating after he just cupped Julianne's boobs on national TV. She's doing way more dancing than he is. Like her brother Julianne does a good job of choreographing for her partner, only she's got less to work with. Personally, I'm not a Chuck fan and it's not just because he's dancing with my future ex-wife.
The Judges's Scores: 9-9-9
The High Lord's Score:

The scores are up and not inflatedly so. Part of it is that most of the dead weight is gone and the people left are raising their game.

Ty is my favourite dancer this season because he's trying so hard. Chelsie needs to have her salary doubled because she's having to work double time to keep him around. They get the waltz and she doesn't look a day over 17. I think she's coming along as a choreographer because she's stopped trying to get Ty to do too much. They stick to good, basic steps and that works. I hope he sticks around for another couple of weeks, even if he can't get past the counting thing.
The Judges's Scores: 8-8-8
The High Lord's Score:

While Mrs. High Lord was flipping over the the Soap Opera Network, I found this over at CNNSI Hot Clicks.

Can we replace Samantha with Drew? Please?

After last week's creepy rumba, Shawn and Mark are doing the cha-cha-cha. I think the intro piece is a bit of sandbagging. Mark looks like he stole Michael Jackson's Billie Jean outfit and added a million sequins. I like them, even if her outfit would be more appropriate for Edyta. They weren't 100%, but it was close. She should accept fewer awards and dance more.
The Judges's Score: 9-9-10
The High Lord's Score:

Wrapping up the couples dances are Gilles and Cheryl with the Viennese waltz. I hope they get better music this week. Cheryl should choreograph a good routine for him. Mrs. High Lord is happy to see the cheap stunt that put him in swim trunks. I want hair extensions like Cheryl's. I thought it was good; not as much as past weeks and certainly not as good as Shawn or Lil Kim tonight. I think it was the dance or the music, but I was nearly put to sleep by the end.
The Judges's Scores: 9-9-9
The High Lord's Score:

Tomorrow night Celtic Woman are on. Woo-hoo!

Taking 7 chances to remind us about the group dance, The Queen of Unintentional Comedy launches us into the 60s themed mass choreography. I thought it would be the hippie 60s not the doo-wop part. Maybe Chelsie could replace Ty with a cardboard cutout and see if her score would go up.

I see the group dance as being awful. In a good way.

Would someone please explain the charm of the group dances to me? It wasn't as bad as some of them have been in the past, although I don't think I want to go back and watch it on the DVR.

I think either Ty, Lawrence or Chuck will get the boot tomorrow, probably (unfortunately) Ty. Is there going to be a dance off?

Tomorrow, we've got 61 minutes of Idol, then the DWTS results. What's the over/under on how long the show actually goes? Not that I endorse gambling, but I'd set it at 65 minutes.

High Lord. Out.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Stay classy, Baltimore!

Two weeks ago, I was paying a visit to the wonderful city of Baltimore, Maryland courtesy of my employer. I was there for a "train the trainer" workshop intended to certify people to teach the centralised training everyone in our agency has to go through. Of course, while it was a good basic curriculum, I didn't get a whole lot out of it, but then again, the course wasn't designed for people who already have a master's degree in education.

On the last night, a bunch of us went out for drinks after the "graduation" banquet and were in a little hole-in-the-wall bar. As we were sitting there, one of the guys at our table says, "Hey, look there's a guy taking a piss out in the alley!"

Everyone's heads shot around and sure enough, when we looked through the window, we saw a guy standing with his face towards the wall and a slow stream forming between his legs. No sooner than all of us enjoyed a nice little chuckle than one of the other guys blurts out, "There's two chicks out there, too!"

Just around the corner, trying to hide behind a dumpster are two pretty young ladies squatting down apparently relieving themselves. As soon as one of the girls knocked on the window, the expressions on the girls's faces went from mild embarrassment to outright humiliation.

Of course, we had a good laugh. The only thing that could have made it better was having a flash camera on hand to make them wonder if we were going to put a video on YouTube or something.

I don't frequent bars too often, but I can safely say that this was the first time in my 35 years of life that I've seen three people urinating in an alley and none of them appeared homeless.

Stay classy, Baltimore!

Before the Idol results show starts, I'd like to address two issues:

First, the rescue of an American crew from an attempted pirate hijacking. I'm not going to talk about specifics of the operation, but let me say this: The seas around the Horn of Africa are now more dangerous.

Consider this: the people who get into piracy are probably in a place in their lives where they don't feel like they have many options. We're talking about the failed state of Somalia which has no government and no economy to speak of. Since the end of the Cold War, there has been a generation of people who have basically no hope of making better lives for themselves, so they turn to piracy.

The business model they have is not only low-risk, but it's actually very successful. A small number of men takes over a ship, holds the crew hostage, collects a ransom and makes money. For the most part, no one dies. It's in everyone's interest for there not to be a lot of killing. If the pirates start knocking off crews, navies will start patrolling harder and they'll start arming merchant ships. If pirates start dying, they'll stop taking hostages and just start hijacking ships for their cargo which they will then sell on the black market.

Remember, these are people who have nothing to lose.

Now, with the threat of being killed by SEAL snipers or French commandos, do you think the pirates might be a little itchy on their trigger fingers?

If you want to stop piracy, not just in Africa, but also in Malaysia and even South American, the way to do it is not through destroyer patrols and special operators, it's giving the people of these third world countries an alternative. If people can make money in a way that's easier and less dangerous than hijacking a ship to take its crew hostage, they'll do so. If they do not perceive that they have an alternative, they will become criminals and the world will be a more dangerous place for us all.

Thought number two: What's up with all the "tea parties" protesting taxes?

Don't get me wrong, I want taxes to be as low as possible, but the fact of the matter is that I don't mind paying taxes.

Here's why: I like a government that provides services. You do, too. And it takes money to provide services.

I think we can all agree that it's a good thing that we can put a carrier battlegroup anywhere in the world within 24 hours. It's also a good thing that when we want to get from one part of the country to another, we can hop into a car, get on the Eisenhower Interstate System and get their fairly quickly. I also like that our government bought and maintains the vast network of national parks that are sprinkled throughout our great country, preserving some of the most beautiful sights in all of Creation.

So why do people not like this? The simple answer is that people don't like seeing their tax dollars wasted. Fair enough. I don't like that either. I also understand that our nation was founded as part of a tax revolt.

But why do we have a "government is the problem" attitude? When was the last time you shopped in a "company store"? Do you know why you don't? It's because labour unions forced the government to step in and intercede on behalf of workers who were being shafted by businesses.

Do you worry about the meat you eat being full of flesh-eating bacteria? Do you worry about the water you drink being safe? Didn't think so. The reason you don't worry (for the most part) is because the FDA inspects meat-packing plants and oversees the processing of most tap water and sewage systems.

It galls me to hear people say that government is bad (especially Republicans who spent the last 8 years increasing the size of both the government and the national debt), when the fact of the matter is that our government does far more good things than negative things.

Can it be more efficient? Sure it can. Could our elected representatives be more frugal when spending our money? Of course.

But if your only answer to every economic problem is de-regulation and tax cuts, you haven't been paying attention to what's happened to our country lately.

Enough of that, on to the show . . .

Last night was possibly the most boring night of Idol of the past five years. Not only did they still not come in on time, but the songs were almost all horrid. I understand that most movie songs are of the power ballad variety, but c'mon, six of seven?

Where was "Footloose"? "I Can Dream About You". "View to a Kill". "Jungle Love". "Hazy Shade of Winter". "Eye of the Tiger". "Man in Motion (St. Elmo's Fire)". "Don't You Forget About Me". And those are just songs from 80s movies!

Nor does that include songs that aren't actually from movies but were used in movies. "Bohemian Rhapsody" (Wayne's World) "Twist & Shout" (Ferris Bueller's Day Off) "A Little Less Conversation" (Ocean's 11) "Son of a Preacher Man" (Pulp Fiction)

To rectify this egregious choice of songs, I think Idol needs to have the following theme: No Ballads Allowed!

The show opens with the bad Ford commercial followed by Michael Sambelo's "Maniac". At least they're not lip-synching any more. The sound guy still needs to be fired. Along with the director. If you haven't done so already, go check in with our good friend Jennifer for her comments on how much Nigel did for the show.

We come back from break and they shill for the new Zac Efron movie. Look, he's in da house, too! What are they going to do for the next 45 minutes?

Of all the results shows, this is the one I dread the most. With 7 Idols left, the "tradition" is to "George" someone by separating the singers into two groups of three, declaring one as the top 3, the other as the bottom 3 and then telling one person they're safe and making them choose which group is which. It's my least favourite stunt because it's so mean.

Seacrest starts with the results and after leading Allison on, declares her safe. Maybe they're not going to pull their usual crap this year.

Adam is next and he's safe. Of course he likes the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Remind me to tell you all about the time my friends and I dragged my father to see it.

Next to get his results is Anoop and he's in the bottom 3. According to DialIdol, the bottom 3 is Allison, Matt and Kris with Gokey being the only one who is safe.

After the break, the true inspiration for the "save" takes the stage. Next to Kelly and Carrie, J-Hud is the most successful of the Idols, both in terms of critical acclaim and commercial success. Yes, she's even more successful than Clay.

Have I mentioned how nice it is to see the Idols come "home" and the show supporting them? It's too bad the sound guy hasn't been fired yet.

I think I liked her better when she was frizzy-haired and still pleasantly plump. My endearing memory is her swan song when she had that wild look in her eye like she was truly pissed off at being eliminated. In fact, it was the night of the infamous "Georging" (Coincidence about the timing of her return? Probably not). I thought she was going to leap from the stage and throttle Simon in his chair.

We come back from the break and Anoop gets a sit-down interview. I think the judges may use the save on him, but that's not likely.

Kris is next and Simon tells him he was brilliant . . . take that, R-Dawg. Lil is asked to stand and is promptly put in the bottom 3 while Kris is declared safe. Lil explains how the judges have sent her mixed messages all season, and she's right. When she goes Mary J. for them, they tell her she's not being original and when she tries something different, they tell her she should be more like Mary J. Make up your damn minds.

The last pair to get their results are Matt and Gokey. Here's what I don't understand: Truly, what separates Danny, Kris, Matt and Anoop? Vocally, I mean. Aside from Danny's late wife, they're basically the same singer.

Danny tries to justify singing a duet as a solo. He's wrong. But he's safe. Duh.

Last night, I made an error. It wasn't Joey and Phoebe singing "Endless Love"; it was Chandler and Phoebe.

I apologise. To make up for it, here is my favourite moment from Friends.

"Actually, it's Miss Chanandler Bong!" Bwhahahahahahaha!!!!

When we come back from the break it's time for Miley Cyrus. With a smoke machine. I'm so happy I don't have a seven year old girl in my house right now . . .

That leaves either Lil or Matt as the one going home. Has an early TCO ever been dropped as quickly by TPTB than Lil? What happened? Besides the awful song selection, I mean. Did she just not turn out to be the kind of singer they wanted her to be? Was she sabotaged or did she underachieve? She has officially been replaced by Allison as a TCO.

And once again, the director demonstrates that he needs to be unemployed.

Over the past five seasons, only four people have been in the bottom 3 or eliminated from the Pimp Spot, and it's never been this early in the season. Back in season 4, Anthony Fedorov was the only person to be kicked off after singing last, and even then, there were only four singers left. Might Lil get whacked after being given the prime singing placement?

After the break, it's Matt who's singing for his supper. After the verbal lashing Lil got from Simon last night, we all know that he was the one Simon is considering using the save on. Will they do it? I don't think he deserves to be kept around; it's not like he has a chance to win. Still, next week is the last week it's in play, so they may pull it just to make the season interesting. I think they're going to let him walk.

What did they lace Kara and Paula's drinks with tonight?

Will Simon save him? Randy, Paula and Kara want to keep him around for one more week. Since this has to be unanimous and Simon doesn't think he's got a chance to win, will he do it?

. . . And they do. I don't think Matt deserved to be saved, but it makes for nice TV.

While this keeps the seven singers around for one more week, Simon reminds us that two singers will be eliminated next week. I think the save tonight was a stunt, but hey, it will keep people blogging, watching and talking, so it must have worked, huh?

The other bombshell Simon drops on us is that next week is disco week. This is good news for Lil ("Don't Leave Me This Way") and Adam ("It's Raining Men"). Everyone else is in trouble.

I'm just happy no one got Georged tonight. I guess they realised that stunt has run its course.

High Lord. Out.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Ready? . . . Set (your DVR) . . . Go!

I hope everyone has programmed their DVRs to run about 10 minutes over for Idol tonight. Or you could just set it to record Fringe right afterwards.

This week's theme is movie songs with special guest judge Quentin Tarantino, indy film director extraordinaire and huge fan of the show. Remember he was on before as a guest judge back in season 3 and he's since been seen at a couple of the finales. Rather than coming in to "mentor" the 7 remaining singers, maybe they should have him mentor the director so the show finishes on time.

Does anyone but me wonder how deep the catalog is the kids get to choose from? There are a lot of songs from movies out there, but if the kids only get to pick from about 5 songs, it's really not fair to pick on singers like Lil for their song choice (like when R-Dawg tried to tell K-Mac she picked the wrong song when in fact it was Clive Davis who screwed her over).

What are the odds that Gokey sings "Stand By Me" because it was in a movie once (or ten times)?

Mrs. High Lord got the burgundy walls in the living room primed tonight. Now we just have to get the old carpet up . . .

There's an Idol reviewer over at MSNBC who believes Adam should/will win while another person thinks he won't. Personally, I think he'll finish in third or fourth place like Chris Daughtry.

How cool is Tarantino that he gets Seacrest's new signature line?

Why is the band out of the balcony? Why are they wasting time talking about how much time they spent talking last week? I have an idea: Let the kids sing longer, get Seacrest to talk less and make the judges keep their comments on the singing, not on each other.

First up is Allison who could return to the bottom 3 from the Dead Man's Spot. What's up with her hair? She needs to borrow some of Lil's extensions. I like that she starts slow and low at the beginning and doesn't give in to the shouting until the end. Allison is like Amanda Overmeyer if Amanda actually had some vocal range. In addition to the director, Idol needs to replace the sound guys; whatever happened at the end was not the her fault. I wasn't blown away and going first might hurt her when it comes to the results show tomorrow. Simon says some uncharacteristically nice things about her.

Our cell phone contract with Sprint runs out at the beginning of June and we're going to switch to another provider. From an informal poll of the people I work with, Verizon and AT&T get generally good reviews as far as service and availability.

Anoop goes AFE on us with that crappy Bryan Adams song from the equally crappy Kevin Costner movie. I'm not predicting good things. Is he supposed to be the next great balladeer? I thought he was much more contemporary and urban than the schlock he's put out on the stage since they took to the big stage. The shame of it is that he's got a good voice, but every time he starts to sing, all he does is bore me to death.

I'm starting to like this only two judges at a time thing.

Keeping the show moving, Seacrest brings us EBA, who's singing some Steppenwolf. He goes back over the top, which is probably a good move. I don't know that he's the next great thing for the pop charts, but he could follow in the lucrative and glorious footsteps of past Idol alums who have done very well for themselves on Broadway. There's not too much screeching, at least until the end. I think Adam peaked three weeks ago with "Tracks of My Tears"; if this were a political show, Bill Schneider would have said he was "catering to his base" this week. I think the people who already love him, lurved it tonight and everyone else just rolled their eyes.

We're halfway through the show and there are four people left to sing. Rather than cut out some filler, Matt gets the random sit-down interview and Seacrest shows us his crappy Quentin Tarantino impression. Is this movie night or Bryan Adams night? Have I mentioned how much I hate this song? Combine that with the fact that I'm not really a Matt fan and things don't look good for him tonight. He makes all of his usual faces, but does fewer of the annoying vocal tricks that bug the dickens out of me . . . at least until "the false" rears its ugly head in a couple of places.

Have you noticed that Kara always seems to mimic whatever Randy says but is just a little more technical? You know, the way Randy used to be before he went ghetto on us.

MWJD just learned how to play the guitar; I guess he traded his glasses for a six-string. Why is he singing "Endless Love" as a solo; it was meant to be a duet. The greatest version, of course, is Joey and Phoebe's. I think he had to trade his razor in with the glasses for the guitar; maybe he got a Les Paul. What's with all the powerballads tonight? The song selections are for the most part safe, if a little boring. Gokey shouts a lot at the end and his hollow, breathy voice annoys me as usual. I give him a big aiiiight. Paula slurps him, as does Simon, even when he says he was bored.

Seacrest sends us to break, even knowing that they're running short on time. Next time, why don't you blather less with the judges and skip the sit-downs with some of the singers.

Next up is Kris with an obscure song from an obscure movie. I just hope he stays out of the mosh pit. Aside from being another boring ballad, Kris also caters to his base. I like that he can sing a song without eyeboinking the camera at every opportunity. The high notes are not pleasant, though. It was a good, minimal performance. Going near the end will help him. Seacrest cuts Kara short because once again, they're short on time.

There's another commercial? WTF?!?!?!?! Someone stop the madness!

Wrapping up the show from the Pimp Spot is Lil. If you're keeping score, there have been six ballads and one song that wasn't a ballad. For me, that's reason enough to call in for Adam. This song lets Lil show off her pipes, but I'm still bored to tears. I have an idea for next week's theme: No ballads allowed. Tonight was a good outing for her; it's too bad I think it was too little, too late. The judges already want her to be the next Mary J. and I can't help but think of her as a LaToya wannabe. Lil will benefit from singing from The Pimp Spot, but I think she needs a lot of help. She also vents her frustration at having been put in a pigeonhole by Simon and Randy.

The Good
no one tonight

The Bad
Adam, "Born to Be Wild"
Kris, "Falling Slowly"
Lil, "The Rose"
Allison, "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"
Danny, "Endless Love"
Matt, "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman"
Anoop, "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)"

The Ugly
no one tonight

Tonight, the seven remaining singers had the opportunity to seize the high ground and the only one who went for it was Adam. Everyone else was meh with their safe, boring selections.

The only question left for me is this: Who is going to get George'd tomorrow?

Who should be in the bottom 3:
Anoop, Danny, Matt

Who will be in the bottom 3:
Allison, Anoop, Lil

I think going first will hurt Allison, but I also think she'll be the first one to be sent to safety.

Who should go home:

Who will go home:

Those are my picks for tonight's Idol.

DWTS Results and other thoughts

In case you hadn't heard, Fox canned Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Anyone surprised? It looks like they managed to destroy yet another sci-fi show that will follow gloriously in the steps of Firefly, Brimstone, Millenium, Lone Gunmen, et al. Why does Fox seem to want each show to be the next X-Files but then cancel a series after only one (or less) season? This does not bode well for Dollhouse.

I am so glad Ronald Moore went with Sci-fi for BSG instead of the idiots at Fox.

What happened to the dance-off? Maybe people realised it was a sham after last week when DAG brought his score up by six(?) points and still got kicked off.

There are three couples still on the stage: Ty & Chelsie, Chuck & Julianne, and Steve-O & Lacey. I think it will (unfortunately) be Ty & Chelsie. He's a likable guy, but just not a very good dancer. He's also been a good sport about the whole thing since I'm pretty sure it was his wife who talked him into doing the show and then he stuck with it even after she had to withdraw due to injury.

After some fake suspense, Steve-O and Lacey get the boot. I am surprised, but I think everyone knew he would be gone either this week or next. Like Idol, there are three front-runners and then a bunch of people just waiting get get eliminated.

High Lord. Out. Again.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Mrs. High Lord is on the warpath

I swear . . .

Tomorrow, I'm going to call Comcast and have them shut off HGTV, DIYnet and every other "home improvement" channel. Every time Mrs. High Lord watches one of those damn shows, I get a new project.

Her latest thing is the living room. Our carpet is upwards of 11 years old and it's showing its age. Mrs. High Lord has been saying for several months that she wants to replace the carpet, which is fine. Where I messed up is when I opened my big mouth and said, "Well, if you're going to replace the carpet, you may as well paint the walls, too."

The walls need painting and I really shouldn't complain since we're due, but if we're going to take up the carpet, it means pulling out the built-in cabinets and shelves so we can get to the carpet that's under them. So far, we've taken everything out and Mrs. High Lord has wiped down the walls in preparation of painting, but this is turning into a much bigger project than when it started.

According to my stepson, he's the big loser in all this. You see, after he graduates in May, I'm taking over his old bedroom in the downstairs. I'm plotting making it into a game/computer room. The old bigscreen will look nice down there along with the Wii, Xbox, home theater and my computer. This way, when Mrs. High Lord goes to bed and I'm not tired, I can go down to the basement and goof off and generally make noise without disturbing anyone.

My stepson is just ticked off that the big TV will be in his old room, which in turn means we'll be getting a new TV for the living room. I also tell him that we'll be getting a hot tub to put on the back deck, too. Heh, heh, heh.

On to the show . . .

Tonight's dances are the rumba and the jive, two generally fun dances. With DAG's ouster last week, it's only a matter of the order in which Lawrence, Steve O, Ty, Lil Kim and Chuck get the boot. Unless you just started watching the show, you know that either Gilles, Melissa or Shawn is going to win this thing.

Ty and Chelsie are up first and the more I watch him, the more I like him. He's a borderline horrible dancer, and he starts out doing a lot of just standing around. He's doing the counting thing again and he will probably get another "robotic" comment this week. What I like about Ty is that if I were on the show, I'd probably dance just like he does. I give him an A for effort, but the dance was about a D+.
The Judges's Scores: The Number of the Beast
The High Lord's Score:

Taking the floor next are Shawn and Mark. I'm still missing the "Vote for Shawn and Mark" shirts. Last week on the Nationwide pre-race show, she was critiquing Carl Edwards's victory back-flip (she gave him a 9). They're doing the rumba and while this dress isn't quite as creepy, it's still not exactly age-appropriate. I think ABC needs to adopt an 18 and older only policy for the future. Overall, I thought their dance was good; the smooth movements come very naturally to her, but I thought she was half a step off in places.
The Judges's Scores: 8-9-9
The High Lord's Score:

Going third are Lawrence and Edyta who got the shaft with bad music last week. I hope Ricky Minor does them right tonight. He gets some good advice from Warren Sapp. Speaking of Warren, who misses Kym? That would be me. LT just isn't built for this show. He's not compact like Emmitt or quick like Jerry. Where Warren is deceptively light on his feet, Lawrence dances more like Clyde and Evander. I think he really is trying, but he's just not very good.
The Judges's Scores: 7-7-8
The High Lord's Score: 7

Melissa and Tony are batting clean-up tonight and she was sabotaged not by her choreographer, but by her dress. Like Shawn, she's doing the rumba which should be good for her. "If I Were a Boy" should only be sung by two people: Beyonce and Adam Lambert. I think judges will gush over her. Mrs. High Lord says Melissa does a lot of posing and not a lot of dancing, but I think that's just the rumba.
The Judges's Scores: 9-9-9
The High Lord's Score: 8

My Wii is still calling me overweight. I'm either going to throw it through the window or I need to stick with it for another month.

Once again Lil Kim is spilling out of her dress, something Derek seems very happy about. I'm hoping for a wardrobe malfunction. "Some of the people were actually around in the 50s" . . . c'mon, Derek! WTF? Dancing to "Jailhouse Rock" is funny as hell. I like it, and not just because Kim is bouncing all over the place. The dance is very much in character and Kim isn't just counting along like some of the others do. And Queen Latifah's in da house! This was easily the best dance of the night so far. Derek once again shows that he is a top tier choreographer.
The Judges's Scores: 10-8-10
The High Lord's Score: 9

The consensus bottom-feeders are Steve-O and Lacey who are inexplicably still around. What's up with the kitchen in their practice area? The thing he has going for him is low expectations. If he just does okay, it will be a success. After two elegant rumbas from Shawn and Melissa, these two seem horribly underdressed in pajamas. He just looks so serious. Steve's dancing isn't bad, but he and Lacey just don't have a lot of chemistry.
The Judges's Scores: 7-4-5
The High Lord's Score: 6

What's with the scores? Carrie Ann was high, Len was low and Bruno was just about right.

Mrs. High Lord has been happy to watch the Sex & the City movie on HBO so she can see Gilles's butt. Cheryl should get a good jive out of him. In the intro piece, they wanted to be fun, but the music is anything but. The dancing is good; not quite as good as Derek and Kim, but close. For the first time the two of them don't seem to quite by in complete sync, and in parts, Gilles looks like he's doing the counting thing.
The Judges's Scores: 9-8-9
The High Lord's Score: 8

Chuck and Julianne wrap up the show with the rumba. What exactly qualifies him as a "star"? It seems to me that in the world of country music, she's bigger than he is. After all, there are commercials on the radio announcing her coming to the great state of West Virginia, but nothing about him. Like the other celebs doing the rumba, Chuck does a lot of standing around. He seems very stiff; unlike Melissa and Gilles, he has no fluidity in his movements. I put them in the middle of the pack tonight.
The Judges's Scores: 8-7-8
The High Lord's Score: 8

What's up with fuddy-duddy Len tonight?

The person who deserves to go is Steve O, although Lawrence and Ty could also be on the chopping block. If LT is in the dance-off tomorrow, he'll probably get whacked.

As I said before, after Gilles, Melissa and Shawn, everyone else is just fighting for scraps.

Tomorrow night, the theme on Idol is movie songs, so we'll see what the kids sing.

High Lord. Out.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

I've figured it out

That is, I know why Idol can't seem to come in on time.

Fox wants to mess with everyone who has a DVR.

The point of the show is to sell advertisement and product placement. If people are recording the show on the DVR and FFing through the commercials, Fox isn't making as much money as they could. By holding the show over for a few (or 12 minutes), they're basically forcing people who would have DVR'd the show and then watched it back to either tune in live (and thereby increasing ad revenues) or figure out how to get their DVR to record for an extra twenty minutes so they don't miss the person getting the Pimp Spot (which most people can't/won't do).

Is that ingenious or what?

The people at Fox/19E/Fremantle are all bastards.

After surprising everyone with the great Frankie Avalon, they open the show with a group sing of Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out of My Head" which wasn't good back in 2002 and is even worse now. A girl I used to work with called this "the migraine song" and I had to mute the tube until it ended. What's even worse is that even with a pre-record track, they can't get the harmonies right.

You'd think that for all the good songs from 2002, they could have picked one that was less indulgent and vapid. Here's a list of possible candidates.

Do we really need to see the behind the scenes for Ford's product placement ad? (The correct answer is "no".)

Thanks to everyone's kind words regarding my newest grandchild. In fact, I'm 35 years old. I kind-of cheated when I got my AARP card. To the best of my knowledge, there is no one in the world who has any DNA that was provided by me (I can't imagine having little High Lord's wandering around out there). However, Mrs. High Lord has three children and they have provided my (step)grandchildren. The youngest of the kids is graduating from high school and I'm already plotting to take over the basement and turn it into my TV and game room. The other two are out of the house and off the payroll (yea!).

According to our friends at DialIdol, Adam is the only one who is safe while everyone else is in play. They predict Scott, Anoop and Kris in the bottom 3.

The first three called to their feet are Adam, Kris and Anoop. The judges slurp Adam and he's declared safe. Kris and Anoop are next to get their results and Anoop is once again in the bottom 3. No surprise, although I would have been equally unsurprised if Kris had also been put in the bottom 3.

Next we get a performance by Flo Rida, who is not to be confused with great state where I grew up. The Candy Girls are nice. I liked this song better when it was done by Dead or Alive.

With 5 people left to get their results, my guesses are for Scott and Lil or Matt.

Gokey is next and despite leading off the show, he's safe. The Dead Man's Spot is 60% to put people in the bottom 3 and The Pimp spot is 100% safe so far this year.

Matt is next to get his results and he's safe. That leaves two girls and the blind guy; Scott gets send to the stools along with Anoop. Seacrest tortures the girls for a few moments then puts Lil in the bottom 3. I think Lil is being dropped as one of the TCOs since she can't seem to find the right song.

Lil started out reminding me of LaToya, but lately hasn't been very impressive. Simon teases us with the "save", but I don't think they'll use it on any of the three sitting there tonight.

Could Kellie's dress be any shorter? (That's not really a complaint) One thing I've enjoyed about this year's results shows is that they've 1) eschewed the viewer phone calls, and 2) brought back a different alum each week. I've got a generally low opinion of the people who go on Idol just to shill for their new CD, but having past Idols on makes that a little more palpable. After all, these are the kids who have basically grown up on the show and I'm happy to see the show supporting them.

Of the three who are up for elimination, by rights it should be Scott going home in a few minutes. I think Lil will immediately be sent to safety, but she and her fans need take this as a wake-up call . . . and she is.

Either of these guys going home won't be much of a loss for the show, although I think Anoop is better than Scott. Let's face it: if Scott weren't blind, he wouldn't have gotten this far. I could take him making it to the Wild Card rounds on his vocal skills, but for him to be around at the expense of Felicia, Ann Marie and some of the others who didn't make it out of the initial voting rounds strikes me as just plain wrong.

Seacrest brings us back from commercial and announces Scott came up 30K votes shy of making Anoop take the stage again. There's no chance that Simon is going to keep him around.

Why is it that the person singing for their billet has to sing the crappy song that got them there? Why can't they sing something that might remind the judges why they selected them for the Top 36 to begin with?

Scott smartly stands in place, even without his guitar. There's no telling what would happen if he decided to pace the stage. I'm still waiting for Emily to show up for that slow dance . . .

Simon tells us that two of the judges think he should stay and two think he should get whacked. Will be be any better next week? Probably not. Remember, the save has to be unanimous. Even if they save him, two people will have to go home next week.

After some genuine-sounding debate, Scott gets sent home, which is probably the right decision. I think there are three people who the judges would seriously consider using the save on: Adam, Danny and Allison. In hindsight, I think they definitely should have used it on Alexis, but every other week, "America" has gotten it right each week, so why keep Scott around this week?

He gets his farewell montage and then it's time for local news.

This leaves us with 7 singers; who will get Georged next week?

High Lord. Out.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Oldies night . . .

You know you're getting old when the music you grew up listening to is on the oldie stations. Tonight's theme is songs from the years the Idols were born, which means a bunch of 80s music. The youngest is Allison, which means the most contemporary song we'll hear is from 1993. This is good for me since I lurve 80s music, but does little to boost the credibility of these singers as being appropriate for today's satellite radio.

With 8 singers left, there are four clear front-runners, three people in play and one person just taking up space. You decide who is who.

After my trip to Baltimore last week, it's good to be blogging from the comfort of my own living room once again. Don't get me wrong, the Sheraton is very nice and my employer treated me very well, but I like being home and sleeping in my own bed once again.

What happened to the big, scary announcer guy and the judges coming out from behind the stage? And who is the bald guy in the suit who looks constipated?

Leading off in the dreaded Dead Man's Spot is MWJD, ostensibly because he's the oldest. His song is "Stand By Me" and it's way too slow. I still don't understand why people think he's a great singer; he's okay, but too prone to shouting and his breathyness really bothers me. He'll easily break the curse of going first because he's one of this year's TCOs, but this sounds way too Copacabannaish for my liking. Like the Arch last year, Randy slurps him even when he would have bashed another singer for doing the same thing. At least he sings with his eyes open.

Even before hearing the rest of the singers, I'm calling the bottom 3 as Kris, Matt and Scott.

Going second is Kris. His life's ambition was to be a taxi driver. Ho-hum. He's singing a jazzed-up Don Henley, which strangely works. Taking Matt's spot in the Mosh Pit does not. I'm not a fan, but this is actually pretty good, if a little original. He needs to shave and leave the scruffy bad-facial hair look to the guy who went first. Mrs. High Lord didn't care for him. Why is it that the judges praise Gokey for rearranging a song, but they bash Kris for doing the same?

I think there needs to be a moratorium on Simon using the word "indulgent". For a guy who wastes so much air time bringing attention to himself, he needs to keep his pie hole shut.

Without a commercial break, Lil comes out and her mama goes right after Simon. I like her mama already. She's trying her hand at Tina which, like Kris, mostly works. She's flat in a several spots but overall not bad. She's packing almost as much back as Lil Kim. Lil doesn't get lost behind the band, nor does she do too much oversinging . . . at least until the end. Paula starts out by calling her hot, which is a bad sign. Then she tells Lil she should have done more to "make the song her own". Didn't she just tell Kris that he did too much? Make up your damn mind!

Lil's stock started high, but has been dropping of late. She started the season as a TCO, but I think she's been replaced slowly by Allison in the Top 3 behind Adam and Gokey. The could be the week she makes an appearance in the bottom 3.

Don't forget to write to your congressman or woman and encourage them to force NASA to honour their contest and name the new space station module after Stephen Colbert.

Last week, Anoop took us to Usherville (Population: You) and now he's gone AFE on us with Cyndi Lauper. Mrs. High Lord doesn't like him 'cuz he's a Tar Heel fan (she's a Dukie). Before Kodak started using it in their advertisements, this was one of my all-time fave 80s tunes. He's also flat in spots and Chris Richardson-nasally in others. I get the feeling that he's holding back, which is usually good, but I think he needed to come out big tonight to avoid being relegated to the stools tomorrow.

We're already running short of time and TBG takes me back to middle school with some Survivor. Do you think he's going to play the guitar or just stand there? If anyone sees Emily Frumpkin, please tell her I'm waiting for my slow dance; I'll be over in the corner of the gym. As of right now, Scott is clearly the weak link of the show. He should be the next to go, but I think the bazillion sympathy votes TPTB handed him in the audition rounds will carry him for another week or two. I'm sure Jennifer is happy that Scott's hot brother is in the audience tonight. Simon rightfully tells him to go back to the piano.

The show ends in 16 minutes and there are three people left to sing: Adam, Allison, and Matt.

Allison was born after I graduated from high school. I am officially old now. She goes the ballad route, which is good. I don't see her screaming this song like she's prone to do. This wasn't her best performance, but it was solid and shows that there's more than just this year's "rocker". If Allison has a weakness it's that her technical skills are lacking behind some of the others. However, she more than covers for it with a fair amount of natural talent.

Who ever is directing this show needs to take control of the talking heads. There is waaaaayyyyy too much filler and there's no excuse for them to be running as late as they are.

Like Scott, Matt is a 1985 baby and he's singing one of my least favourite Stevie Wonder songs. Given some of the songs from that year, why are they all picking crappy ones? I'm not a Matt fan, and I didn't care for him tonight. I think he's one of the guys who just needs to sing the song; he tries too much.

Did you notice that they're rushing the judges through? The show is supposed to end in 3 minutes, Adam still has to sing and then there's the recap. Of course, between Matt and Adam, Seacrest sends us to commercial. This is pathetic. Good god, how many ads can they pack in?

Getting the Pimp Spot is EBA who trades in the pompadour for his drag queen hair. I liked the first part of the song; he goes understated on us. This is very apropos for the 80s music genre. He also forgoes all of the screeching, although there is still to much of "the false". I like how Adam stays in character for the entire performance; his consistency is probably a product of his musical theater background. He was the best of the night and about half a step better than everyone else.

Has Simon ever stood up and clapped for anyone? In 8 seasons? Didn't think so.

The Good
Adam, "Mad World"
Allison, "I Can't Make You Love Me"

The Bad
Kris, "All She Wants to Do is Dance"
Lil, "What's Love Got to Do With It"
Matt, "Part Time Lover"
Anoop, "True Colors"
Danny, "Stand By Me"

The Ugly
Scott, "The Search is Over"

So far this season, no one has been eliminated from the Dead Man's Spot but it's 3 of 4 for the bottom 3. I think this week breaks that trend because there's no way Gokey is in danger tomorrow night.

By rights, if this truly is a "singing competition", then Scott should be the one who gets eliminated, but I think Anoop, Kris and Matt could also be in danger. I think Lil could also be in the bottom 3, but I don't think she'll be going home this early. She just needs to pick better songs.

Who should be in the bottom 3:
Anoop, Danny, Scott

Who will be in the bottom 3:
Kris, Matt, Scott

Who should go home:

Who will go home:

To me, there's a clear top 3, a clear middle of three, one person who should get canned and then there's Lil. She ought to be in the Top 3, but she can't seem to pick a good song to save her life. This week wasn't so bad, but I have a feeling that TPTB are abandoning her.

Scott needs to get sent home. Have I mentioned that I think it's unfathomable that he's still around and Alexis is watching from home?

Anyway, those are my picks.

High Lord. Out.

DTWS Results

Mrs. High Lord and I are both amazed that Ty and Steve O didn't have to dance off. What's up ABC? Don't like the brothas?

I don't think either DAG or LT has a chance to win, but I'm happy to see that everyone this season is trying. We still can't figure out how they could saddle Lawrence and Edyta with such craptacular music and expect them to do any better.

If Mrs. High Lord ever leaves me and Julianne doesn't break up with Chuck, I would so make out with Kym. Just sayin'.

Who's going to see the Hannah Montana movie? I'll be the one in line for GI Joe, Transformers, Star Trek and Wolverine, but if you see me at Hannah Montana, you'll know that I either lost a bet or I got suckered into babysitting a gaggle of 8 year old girls.

I was "meh" on the dance off and it's DAG and Kym who get the boot. That makes me sad. He must really have not gotten any votes since his scores were a lot higher from the judges.

Come back tomorrow and see who gets whacked from Idol tomorrow.

High Lord. Out. Again.