The Idol Final Four

Forget March Madness, this is the real Final Four!

(I'm only saying that because my brackets blew up in the second round)

Before the show starts, make sure you check out the AI Season 7 Cage Match over wt Entertainment Weekly. And if you're really bored by all the filler on Idol, I'm sure they won't mind if you switch over to FX and watch Rent which is where some of the Idol alums will surely end up.

The results of last week's poll are:

It looks like there's a fair amount of consensus about the show and its standing in the genre of Reality TV. I just hope they solve some of its problems going in to next year.

Also, be sure to check out this week's poll to the right. The question refers specifically to the trend that the winner is generally not the most successful of the Idols (Clay and Chris D. being exhibits A and B). So who will be the most successful of the Idols?

And I don't necessarily mean album sales. By that standard, William Hung is #3 after Kelly and Carrie. Who will be still be around after five years? K-Lo is still struggling in the music industry but has also branched out as a restaurateur. Kimberly Caldwell (the hawtest finalist to ever be on the show) has had a successful TV career on the TV Guide Channel. Diana had a good run on Broadway. J-Hud won an Oscar. Daughtry is laughing all the way to the bank. Ace is going to die on "Bones".

So who will we remember from this season?

Back to this week's show.

According to our friends at DialIdol, everyone except Jason is statistically safe. It appears the margin was so wide that they are predicting there is no chance that anyone other than the Gelfling gets canned.

I can't say I disagree; Jason was clearly the worst singer last night. But after what happened to Carly, I can only wonder if there's any way we get a shocker tonight.

Seeing as I can ramble on for a while, how 'bout them gas prices? Today as I was driving home, I noticed that a gas station on the way home had jacked its price up to $3.89 for regular unleaded. It was $3.69 at 7:03 this morning when I went to work. We're being conditioned to accept these gas prices, even as the rest of the economy is going straight into the crapper.

Remember that when Dubya was installed as president by the Supreme Court, oil cost about $26 a barrel and gas was somewhere in the neighbourhood of $1.36.

[Reagan voice=on]Are you better off today than you were four years ago?[/Reagan voice]

That's what I thought.

We went out to dinner and everywhere is a ghost town. Restaurants. The mall. Hell, even Wal-Mart was deserted. But according to Dubya, we're not in a recession.

I hope you're ready to pay over $4 a gallon for regular unleaded before Memorial Day (if you live in California or Hawaii, you probably already pay over $4 a gallon). The guy I sit next to at work has a 50+ mile commute to work each way; I wonder what the point is where he's better off taking a job managing a gas station or going on welfare rather than come to work every day in the office. And he even drives a Saturn that gets 35 miles per gallon.

Anyway, back to the show . . .

As a favour to BeckEye, here's the way David Cook should have sounded last night.

You're welcome, Wixie.

Seacrest says last night was one of the most dramatic shows ever. That's crap. Last night sucked. And I don't see it getting much better from here.

Isn't the next show the inevitable Clive Davis Wheel of Death™ week? That's always a recipe for disaster (like when Randy told K-Mac her song choice was bad and she said, "I didn't pick it!" because Clive did).

Randy opens the show apologising for hating on Syesha. I think he should apologise for slurping up to The Arch so hard that he can't acknowledge when another singer has a good performance. That ticks me off. Back to ALW week, when Carly and Syesha absolutely destroyed everyone, Randy couldn't say they had good performances for fear of not making his boy out to be "da bomb", even when he knows that they wiped the floor with the rest of the field.

The show opens up not with a medley, but with Steely Dan's "Reeling in the Years". Of all the songs in the Rock N' Roll pantheon, this is the best they can get? What the hell?!?!?!

Could David Cook hate this any more? It's not as bad as past group sings, but I've said it before and I'll say it again: this crew has the least amount of chemistry of any group of finalists. Mrs. High Lord says this season's finalists' problem is Brooke; her voice messed up everyone else's harmonies. I'm not sure about that; I just think they all hate these things.

Seacrest brings out The Arch first. Of course, he's not going to have to wait for his results. Why don't they torture this kid like they did to Camile or John Stevens? And he still can't speak a complete sentence. Have I mentioned how much I hate that?

And of course, he's safe. Drat.

Do you think we're going to have to sit through the phone calls tonight?

Seacrest didn't just compare this group of kids with the Beatles, did he? I think I'm going to be sick. I know they got to sing the songs earlier this year, but these kids aren't anywhere near the Beatles's league.

Following a trip to Vegas, Seacrest brings out the other David. I'll be he's safe, too. After all, how can they have an all-David finale if he gets Tamyra'd tonight? I think he doesn't want to win. I wouldn't, if I were him. I'd want to go in third place which would mean a nice career without all of the expectations and obligations of the American Idol.

We're halfway through the show and we already know the bottom 2 (with no surprises).

That leaves 30 minutes for Maroon 5, Bo Bice, the inevitable Ford commercial (which is bad, even by Idol standards) and boat loads of filler.

Oh, dear God, Seacrest is on stage with the laptop and that can only mean phone calls. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Next up is Maroon 5. Besides taking name that's a Star Wars reference, I don't have a lot of good things to say about it. Mabye it's all the false. Maybe it's that I'd rather see past Idols than some random act that doesn't really have a connection to the show.

Then we get to see Bo. He looks and sounds good. It's too bad he didn't wait a year to try out; he would have crushed Taylor easily and probably would have bagged VCM along the way. Doesn't he have Crohn's Disease or something? I've asked that before . . . he had to leave the tour early as I recall. He'd have been too old for this year, but he would have laid a royal smackdown on everyone this year.

Take notes, kids: This is how it's done.

So there are 10 minutes left in the show. That means a 30 second elimination, a 2 minute good-bye video, a 90 second swan song and six minutes of commercials and filler.

Jason said, "Someone told me I shot the Tambourine Man." BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

He's already got his bags packed, probably a good move. Syesha . . . like . . . is really into . . . like . . . the message . . . of . . . like . . . Sam Cooke.

Seacrest gives us some false drama and declares Syesha safe. That means the gelfling is getting whacked. And he's singing with the "We Are Brothers Forever" guy. What do you want to bet he shows up at the finale? Is anyone surprised about this?

Some people say that he wants to go home. Other people say he's just so laid back that it's cool. I just think he's high all the time.

Now he's going to sing . . . do you think he'll remember the words tonight?

That leaves us Syesha in the middle of a David sandwich for next week's show. They have to sing three songs and I'll bet we hear three ballads from The Arch.

On an administrative note, I will not be blogging either Idol or DWTS next week.

Our anniversary is this coming Friday . . . Mrs. High Lord has put up with me for 10 years. So as a reward for her perseverance, I'm taking her to Disney World. This time next week, we'll be at the top of the Contemporary Resort watching the Magic Kingdom fireworks show from the California Grill. I'm not taking the computer and I'm debating on whether I want to take my cell phone.

However, I will record all the shows on the DVR so I promise I'll watch and blog them when we get home next Sunday.

High Lord. Out.