Wednesday, January 31, 2007

American Idol: Los Angeles

Now that I'm done helping my stepdaughter move, I'm back in front of the TV watching the fourth audition show of season 6. I'm kind of peeved that I had to wait until 9 for the show to get started, especially since I don't watch Bones, but now that it's started, let's see if anything will come of tonight.

What the hell is up with the Panther? And is it just me or is Paula about to come popping out of that top? And why is she hiding her cleavage behind that sweater?

Please tell me they're not going to put Mariana through just because she's hawt. Damn, that was awful. And now she's begging. Don't do it! Don't do it! I can't standing the begging and the humiliation. Or the mother. Thank god they gave her the boot. At least she brought a hot mom.

Next we get showered with a montage of begging and pleading. Why can't people take a "no"?

They're going to put crying girl through because she's hot. Simon likes her, but that's no surprise. I wouldn't have put her through because Lindsey was better and she's wasn't great.

The old guy was actually pretty good. It's too bad he couldn't go on to the next round.

This year is turning out to be a talent wasteland. Has everyone who had talent already tried out and been rejected? Or does no one take the show seriously and only the bad people are trying out? Or could Fox be sitting on the front runners who they know are going to make it out of Hollywood and are just cruelly subjecting us to the gawd-awful auditions?

I can't decide, but I'm pretty much fed up with the audition rounds.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I missed it tonight

At about 6:55 tonight, Mrs. High Lord says to me, "Beth (my stepdaughter) needs some help moving."

"When?"

"7:00."

So along with my stepson we packed up some of the crap from her apartment and moved it to her new townhouse. I told her several years ago that I would help her move once a year and since she's lived in the same place for about three years now, I guess she's due.

I just wish they hadn't sprung this on me on an American Idol night.

The one saving grace was that it was on an audition show night and given the previous four episode's track record, I don't think I missed out on much.

So what did I miss? Or was my time better spent walking up and down from a third floor apartment?

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

American Idol: New York

You know the show is bad when I switch between American Idol and The Surreal Life: Fame Games.

At least we're seeing some more of the good singers tonight, but why all the drama? What's with all the tears?

The girl crying because she lied to her father about auditioning just got half a million votes tonight.

And what was with Ashanti(?) with her sob-story soliloquy? Why can't people just accept that they're not very good? I think I'm going to be asking myself that a lot over the next couple of weeks.

We also got to see the requisite hawt girls of the competition (and in bathing suits, no less; usually they wait until Hollywood and have a hot tub scene). It helps that they're best friends so Fox can subtly push a girl-girl agenda with them. To be fair, both were better than average, but they're handing them early votes.

Have I mentioned how much I hate the audition episodes?

I'm seriously thinking of boycotting them next year.

You know I won't, though . . . drat.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

American Idol: Memphis

I missed the first half of the show this week, so I'll be brief. I had a meeting for work; I know for a real American Idol fan, getting fired is preferable to missing the show, but 1) this is the audition rounds that I hate, and 2) $100 an hour to sit around and listen to some guy run his yap about a book he wrote is too good to turn down.

After getting home a little before 8:30, I saw the just-now-divorced guy who has a crush on Paula Abdul (who wasn't as bad as the judges said), the back-up singer with a case of the nerves (who wasn't as good as the judges said) and the new daddy who's going to get whacked in the first round of Hollywood. At least it seems they showed us fewer trainwrecks this week and some people who actually might have some talent.

I wonder if they planned on only having an hour-long show or if they only subjected us to an hour of auditions because of Dubya.

How was the first half of the show. I'm not "procuring" them from other sources (at least the audition shows anyway), so someone let me know.

In other news, how about that Battlestar Galactica? I hate to see Lucy Lawless leave the show, but they're going to bring her back at some point, right? And who the hell would want Starbuck as their wife/girlfriend/lover? Apparently both Anders and Lee. Personally, she's the hawt girl at school who everyone knows is psycho but your best buddy still dates her even though you know it's only going to turn out bad.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

American Idol: Seattle

If the two audition shows are any indication of the actual "talent" that's going to be on the show this year, I think we're in big, big trouble.

I realise that the function of these shows is to make fun of people who think they can sing, but I wish they'd show us some people who actually made it instead of the trainwrecks. They already have a "best of the worst" show planned, so why plague us with the bad singers during the audition shows.

At least I'm getting all my papers graded during the show.

In other news, I just switched over from the old Blogger to the new Google blog format. I hope this works because I don't know that I can go back. Does anyone else have any comments or criticisms of the new "dashboard" and interface? Any feedback would be appreciated.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

American Idol: Let the carnage begin

Welcome back, folks. It's time for another season of American Idol. And that means seven episodes of trainwrecks and self-deluded wannabe singers.

These are the weeks I hate the most because FOX is delighting in the sheer badness of some of the alleged contestants. I'm sure some of them want nothing more than to be on TV, but some other people honestly believe they're good. Those are the worst because I think they're the ones who are exploited the most by this show.

Why is it that we (the viewing public) enjoy watching them make fools of themselves on national TV? Is it the humiliation? I'm a bad singer, and I know it. However, I think that some people may be unnerved by the judges; others may have nicer friends than I do so they never get told the brutal truth. As bad as some of these people are, it takes big balls to go on TV with the possibility of being embarrassed for the entire country to see and for that, I salute these people.

Now, if we could just get FOX to show us all of the people who made to the final 24 (because they know by now) in the auditions . . .

Since I think it's kind of pointless to live-blog the auditions, let me share a few of my wishes for American Idol this year.

  1. More singing, less crap. Last year, each singer got something like 90 seconds every time they got on stage. That's 12 minutes of singing in a 60 minute show, leaving 48 minutes of inane Paula blabber and other crap. On Rock Star, each contestant sang for more than one verse, the chorus and a big "money note" at the end.

    This is a singing show, right? Let's have more singing.

  2. Do away with the product placement. I read over at MSNBC that there were 4,086 occurrences of product placement on American Idol. By comparison, the number two show for product placement was The Amazing Race with 2,790 and in third place was Extreme Makeover: Home Edition with 2,701.

    Do the math and that's 46% more product placement on American Idol than on the #2 show.

    Why do we have to endure those lame Ford ads? And can we get by without mentioning Cingular or Coca-Cola? Just once? I know that American Idol is FOX's cash cow, but can't we just have the show.

  3. There are some people who are tired of me harping on how much face time influences the voting, but since it does, I would like a level playing field for all of the final 24 so that no one gets the "Celena Rae" treatment again. Let's either do away with all the heartwarming stories that get people votes or show everyone who made the top 24 during the auditions and Hollywood so that some people don't get an unfair advantage.

  4. A "Screw Your Buddy" theme night.

  5. Just one year that America doesn't eliminate someone like LaToya London while pushing through the likes of Scott Savol, John Stevens and Kevin Covais.

  6. Real drama, not manufactured drama. There's enough suspense in the sheer competition. Why do we have to bring in the crap of the Brittenum Boys?

Right now, Denise (the crack baby--her words, not mine) is the first one to make it to Hollywood and she's already racking up some sympathy votes. I think I'm going to wrap up tonight's blog on that note, but I hope you guys, my faithful readers (all three of you) will stick through one more season with me.

I'll try and update more frequently than I have been lately, especially once the actual singing starts.

High Lord. Out.