Monday, July 31, 2006

Funny panhandler sign

I saw this today and got a kick out of it.

What does Chris Rock say?

"If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny."

I'd give this guy a buck just for the sign, though.

And here's another one that I've seen before. It may have been photo-shopped together, but it made me laugh.

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Friday, July 28, 2006

More funny stuff

If you like Star Trek and you like Monty Python (and chances are good that if you like one you like the other), you have to see this.

Sorry, no gratuitious Jessica Alba picture today. However, I did put that one animated .gif of her in the sidebar for you, though.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Thursday thoughts

One day, I'm going to this.

And E3. And GenCon.

I'm such a geek.

In other news, ExxonMobil reported profits of $10.7 billion last quarter. Meanwhile, I paid $2.84 for regular unleaded on Monday, then went to work on Tuesday and saw that the price had inexplicably skyrocketed to $3.09.

WTF is that about ?!?!?!

Why won't the government look into whether the oil companies are fixing prices or gouging consumers? Oh, yeah, both the prez and the veep are oil men. How silly of me.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Rock Star: Supernova, week 4 results

Here we are, 12 people left. Who is getting canned this week? Will they finally get rid of Zayra or Josh?

We start with super-hot über-MILF telling us that the performance show this week was hot. To me, this week was a whole bunch of mediocrity. Maybe it was the song selection or maybe everyone was just off this week. No one was extraordinary and there were a few people who were outright bad and most everyone was just middle of the pack. We see some extended highlights and I am only reminded about how bad Josh, Phil and Zayra were.

There's some more banter so I flipped over to So You Think You Can Dance on the split screen. I was surprised that Dmitry got whacked last week because he is one of the better dancers left, but he does come across as kind of robotic. Personally, I think Benjy and Heidi should win.

Now back to Rock Star. We see some behind the scenes drama. Some of the others are playing mind games with Dana. And then Gilby gets into it with Jill. The singers need to not argue with the band. Or with each other.

Is this becoming a dysfunctional show (like Big Brother or Survivor) or is the drama being manufactured for the camera?

They're still going over last week's results over on Fox. I'd really like a "Love It"-sized Oreo Overload from Coldstone right about now. Instead, I flip over to "America's Got Talent" with Piers, Brandy and the Hoff. Guys are jumping on trampolines and dunking basketballs. I think I'll stick with the singing competition.

Brooke Burke is back and Jason announces Storm as the encore this week. I'm not sure she was that much better than the rest, but the band didn't like Magni and Dilana has gotten the encore once already. Once again, she's good, but not great.

After that we find out who is in danger of elimination. Brooke reminds us that Jill, Josh and Zayra started out in the preliminary bottom 3. Added to this list are Phil and Patrice as people who were at one point in the bottom 3.

Patrice is announced as the first person who will be singing. It's kind of a surprise because she really wasn't bad. She was okay, but there were other people who are more deserving to be there than her. She's singing "My Iron Lung", a song I don't know, so we'll see how she does. It's okay, not great. I don't think she's in danger of getting whacked tonight, especially since Dave doesn't get a vote. The band seems to like her.

The 11 year old girl over on America's Got Talent is a better singer, though. And she's almost as tall as Regis.

Next, Brooke announces Zayra as the second person to be in the bottom 3. Last year, Suzie used her six appearance in the bottom 3 as a chance to prove how good she was, but Zayra keeps showing us that she really only has her good looks and a nightie that is almost too short. Even if she does well, won't the band get rid of her just because they have to know she won't get any better? She's singing a song I don't know, but she clearly doesn't deserve to win.

I flipped over to "The One" for a second (what's the deal with Tuesdays? Is it night of the reality contests?) and saw a girl singing "Barracuda". Man, was that bad. Not as bad as Zayra, but still not good.

So that leaves Phil, Josh and Jill as the three people who might be the third member of the bottom 3. And they're still showing last week's results show on So You Think You Can Dance.

Now we find out who is in the bottom 3. Josh . . . is safe. DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Phil. I correctly called two of the bottom 3 and I only wish they would can Phil and Zayra at the same time. He's singing "Smoking Umbrella" a mystery song no one knows. The more I watch him sing, the less I like him (and I didn't like him from the beginning). If Zayra weren't already in the bottom 3, I'd say he's gone. Damn, Phil sucks.

After Zayra and Phil's performances, if Patrice goes home tonight, it will be an injustice of biblical proportions.

Tommy still needs a tag-line that puts him on the same level as Tim from last year. The person getting canned this week is . . . (drumroll please!) . . . Phil.

I can't believe we're going to be subjected to Zayra for another week. What does the band see in her?

Still, Phil getting whacked isn't the worst thing that could happen. I'm just astounded that Zayra survived. Why, Tommy, why?

Anyway, I'm confident she won't last too much longer. She's been in the bottom 3 so often, the band has got to take that into consideration. If people keep putting her there, the viewing (and record-buying) public must see something in her that they don't like.

That's it for me this week.

High Lord. Out.

Give the boy a break

Ken Jennings, the all-time winningest contestant on Jeopardy!, wrote a satirical piece on his blog that makes several jokes at the expense of Jeopardy! and host Alex Trebek.

Apparently some people either didn't find it funny or don't recognise a joke. Give it a read because it's very clever and well-written. If anyone accepted this at face value and couldn't find the humour in it, they need a vacation to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch.

And one more time . . . just because I can.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Rock Star: Supernova, week 4

The group is now down to 12. Super-hot über-MILF Brooke Burke comes out in a nightie and with people getting elminated, they have time for a little bit of filler. The band hangs out at the mansion with the remaining contestants and they start sucking up to the band.

First up is Lukas singing "Bittersweet Symphony". Mrs. High Lord is out of town and she called so I only had half an ear on the performance. He still sounds mush-mouthed.

Next up is Zayra and she's no match for "Call Me". She looks hawt, but if the band doesn't whack her this week, something is seriously wrong with this show.

We get our first commercial break and then it's Dana's turn. Why does everyone sing Nirvana? I know they were popoular, but they were overrated (let the hate-mail begin). Dana is okay. She's screeching, but she can play her own instrument and makes the best of a bad song. Not as good as last week, but light-years better than Zayra.
Verdict:: ↔

My friend Mike like Patrice and she's trying her hand at the Black Crowes. Dave didn't like her, but she was pretty good. Not great, but better than the comments she got.

Toby is next singing "White Wedding". I've never liked this song, but at least he's trying. I think the band likes him. My brother and his wife had this song as their first dance. Toby is pretty good on stage, even if the singing itself is okay.

Going fifth is Magni singing some David Bowie. I think he's one of the frontrunners in this competition. He doesn't need to resort to stunts or skimpy outfits to be good; he just sings the songs. The band didn't like his performance, but as Gilby rightly points out, vocally he is spot on. Plus he gets dig in a Zayra.

Wrapping up the first half is Ryan taking on Chris Daughtry's favourite band. I think he's on the bubble. He's not great, but he's not bad either. Since he just kind of blends in with some of the other guys, he might last until the bad contestants are eliminated, but I just don't think he's good enough for the top tier.

After the bottom of the hour, Jill rubs up against Gilby a lot. Dayum, she's all over him (and Gilby called her on it). "Brown Sugar" doesn't place great vocal demands on the singer and she does okay. I don't know what it is tonight; no one is blowing me away. Aside from Zayra, no one is bad either, but you'd think that there would be some performances that would bring the house down.

Phil is one of my least favourite contestants and he's singing one of my least favourite songs of 1997, "One Headlight". I don't care for his singing, and I don't like the brooding hair-in-my-eyes look he's got. I don't think the band is too high on him either. I put him and Zayra in the bottom 3 tonight.

Scary girl Dilana unplugs for "Time After Time" and she's actually pretty good. She's got a good voice for this song and the acoustic performance is nice because she gets to sing instead of thrash around on the stage like she has in the past. As of right now, this is the performance of the night that should get the encore tomorrow.

The last pair of the night starts with Josh. I thought his singing voice last week was a little weird and now I officially dislike it. He looks like he's about 15. Everything about this performance is bad. Jason doesn't like him either. Bottom three for sure. I think Super Nova should do a mercy killing this week and eliminated both Zayra and Josh this week to put them out of my misery. Remember, our band INXS did it last year when they canned both Daphna and Heather.

Wrapping up the show is Storm who everybody googled after last week and she's singing a song I've never heard. She has scary eyes, but she's dynamite on stage. She doesn't have a great voice but in the pimp spot, that's okay, especially since they give us a nice "Club MTV" camera shot halfway through the song.
Verdict: ↔+

At the end of the show, the preliminary bottom 3 is Josh, Jill, Zayra

The bottom 3 should be: Josh, Phil, Zayra

Gilby is definitely the most articulate of the band members. I think if Supernova doesn't last long (and it probably won't), I see him being able to take Dave's job because Dave is just kind of annoying (to me, anyway).

Is this the week that we're finally rid of Zayra? We can only hope.

Don't Hassel the Hoff

Before Rock Star tonight, I think you guys should check this out.

It's quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen all month.

And once again, just because I can.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Rock Star: Supernova, week 3 results

Here we are again. Another round of singing, another person to eliminate.

The bottom 3 at the end of the show last night was Jenny, Dana and Ryan. We find out that two other people have been in the bottom 3 at some point: the overrated Zayra and new drama-king/annoying tone boy Josh.

After some, but too much, drama, Jenny, Dana and Josh are sent singing.

Jenny is pretty good, Dana sings a song nobody knows and Josh sings more Nirvana.

My least favourite is Josh. On top of having picked up a song and run, his singing voice is annoying as hell. Plus, he has sung Nirvana two nights in a row now and I can't stand Nirvana.

Unfortunately, the band kicks Jenny off. She wasn't going to win, but there are worse people left (Zayra, Josh, Phil).

I think it's interesting that Tommy has been elected to assume the role of Peter from our band, INXS. The one thing about this show is that they don't play the sorts of mind games American Idol does and that last year the band was always pretty straight up with who was being sent home.

Tommy is pretty much the same, although I wish they could find a suitable line for him to use to send some one home. There was a certain magic to "You're just not right for our band, INXS" but I don't think it would sound the same coming from Tommy.

Maybe we should have a contest to come up with a good elimination line for this year. There's an idea . . . and then CBS can pay me royalties for coming up with it.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Rock Star: Supernova, week 3

Now that we're down two singers, Zayra is inexplicably still around. Did you hear that Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra have separated? Super-hot über-MILF Brooke Burke is also single. Dave's always telling Carmen how hawt she is . . . coincidence? Hmmmmm . . .

There are 13 lucky singers left and they're all fighting amongst themselves for songs, especially after what happened to the last two people to have been eliminated. At least the group last year was civilised about the song selection process.

Going first is Patrice singing "Helter Skelter". She's good, not great. U2's cover was much better, but then again, U2 is a much better band than Supernova will ever be. In parts she sounds like she's shouting and that drowns out how good her voice could be.

Second is Josh who is singing a song I can't stand, "Come As You Are". His voice sounds odd and he's not changing my mind about the song. He may have fought off the rest of the group for this song, but I don't see it.

In the three-hole is Storm and she somehow drew the Cars. How do they qualify as "rock"? Of course, last year, Marty sang "Baby . . . One More Time". I didn't care for this song in the 80s, but she's actually pretty good. I don't like the song any more, but she did a good job.

How many people just went to Google to do an image search for Storm?

After the first commercial break we get "Let's Spend the Night Together" as presented by Lukas. I think he's this year's ringer, like Jackass was last year. Think about it: who was the source of all the drama last year? And who won? Despite haveing several inferior performances, INXS never canned him. Lukas didn't have to instigate anything this week, but he's the biggest freak of the bunch (his apologists call it being "distinctive") and he'll probably win. The band loves him, but I don't like him. He sounded a little mush-mouthed in places and there was a little too much shouting for me.

Rounding out the top 5 is Jill with "All Right Now". She is much, much better than last week's Hole/Courtney Love bridal performance. She needed this one and was actually good. Gilby said she oversang some parts, but I didn't think so.

Who put "Fortunate Son" in the song selection pool? Good choice for Ryan. He should change it to "I ain't no president's son" and he really would have gotten my vote. It seems like vocally he ran out of gas halfway through the song.

Marking the halfway point of the show is one of my least-favourite contestants Phil and for some reason he gets to play with Jason. He's playing angry rocker dude despite the fact that he looks like he's 18. Too much shouting on "White Rabbit" for me.

Next up is Dana with some Bon Jovi. She's actually singing, unlike some of the others who have been shouting tonight. She didn't blow me away, but she did pretty good. For some reason the band doesn't like her, but I did.

Is it just me or is Gilby the most level-headed of the group? Tommy is all about the T&A. All of his comments have been something to the effect of "Girl you are hot!". Sometimes Jason has something constructive to say and sometimes he's out in left field. Gilby always seems to have something insightful to say, he's about 70% on the money and it seems like he's the most interested in actually finding a band member, not just being on TV (Tommy) or that he's just happy to be there (Jason)

The nine-hole brings us Toby with "Runaway Train" the most over-played song of 1993. I have a feeling the band is going to tell him that they almost fell asleep during his performance. There was nothing bad about it, but nothing great either. He's also singing, and I think he's safe for this week but he needs to get better songs.

Magni sings "Plush" and he's very good. In my opinion, the best of the night. His performance is good and his vocals aren't over the top, but nor are they lackluster. The band likes him, and that's good for him

Next up is Zayra with REM's most overplayed song, "Everybody Hurts". I think she's being kept around because she's hawt, but she's actually pretty good this week. Not great, but much better than last week. Wait, I spoke too soon, now she's oversinging. The first half was very good, the second half just okay.

Going twelfth is Jenny singing Incubus. She's okay, but unispired. I'd look for her to be potential bottom 3 material this week. Not because she's bad, but becuase she' was forgetable.

Wrapping up the baker's dozen is Dilana with "Zombie". She should be in a goth band not a rock band. She still scares me. That said, she was very good. Her shouting was controlled unlike say Phil's, and I think she could actually be a pretty good singer if she tried. She has that same kind of Melissa Etheridge/Bonnie Raitt voice and while I don't think she'll win, this gig should get her a contract of some kind.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Josh, Lukas, Phil

The voting has started and let's see who is in the preliminary bottom 3. It's Jenny, Dana and Ryan.

No actual surprises. We'll see if that keeps up and if the band will actually eliminate Zayra.

Monday, July 17, 2006

It must be a slow news day

You know things are bad when major news outlets are reporting that Dubya was talking privately to Tony Blair and he said "shit".

Oh, dear God! Stop the presses! The President of the United States cusses like an ordinary joe!

Long time readers will know that I'm not one of Dubya's apologists and that I really dislike him and his politics, but come on, is this really newsworthy?

It wasn't like he got up for the state of the union and called Kim Jong Il a certain twelve-letter word that starts with M and ends in R that I use a lot when I'm driving by myself. He said what was on his mind to another guy and a nearby microphone picked it up.

So what? Why is this the lead story at Not another story about the fighting in Israel/Lebanon or the latest tsunami that has wreaked havoc up on Indonesia.

Dubya said, "shit". We get it. Now report real news.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Rock Star: Supernova, week 2 results

So we're at the second results show. After 20 minutes of recaps, super-hot über-MILF Brooke Burke reveals to the singers that Chris, Zayra and Jill were in the bottom 3 after the initial voting at the end of the show.

Brooke then reveals that Jenny was the only other person who spent any time in the bottom 3 and that there were 40% more votes cast this week over last week.

The first person to sing is Jill, who reminds me of Whipper from Ally McBeal. She sang Evanescence. She was a lot better tonight than last night.

Next up is Zayra, who surprisingly sings the same song she sang that landed her in the bottom 3. It's a slightly different arrangement and in my opinion, not any better.

The third to go is Chris, who sings an unplugged version of Tonic. He was actually pretty good. He's got a good voice, and needs a little work, but he was not the worst person to sing tonight.

Supernova deliberates and sends Whipper to safety. Then, they whack Chris.

This puzzles me. He wasn't going to win, but he was better than Zayra.

I think I mentioned before that Zayra reminds me of Ace; she's hawt and is okay on stage, but her vocals are weak. I think the guys are keeping her around because she flirts with them, but I don't think she has what it takes to win.

That leaves us with 13 performers left. I'm 1-3 in calling the bottom 3 this week and 3-6 for the season. We'll see if I can keep it up all year.

You might be a Floridian if . . .

A friend sent this to me and I thought it was funny.

You Might Be A Floridian If . . .

"Down South" means Key West

"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.

You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it's Easter or Christmas.

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to Florida.

You measure distance in minutes.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.

It's not soda, cola, or's coke, regardless of brand or flavor, "What kinda coke you want?"

Anything under 95 is just warm.

You've hosted a hurricane party.

You're not there on vacation.

You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.

You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee and Loxahatchee.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

Bumperstickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, and a confederate flag.

You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

You get angry when people say "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH"

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

You know what the "stingray shuffle" is, and why it's important!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Rock Star: Supernova, week 2

So here we are, week 2 of Rock Star: Supernova.

Matt is gone and now there are 14 folks left. You'll notice that the show calls them "rockers" not singers or contestants. I also find the song selection process much more interesting than that of American Idol.

On AI, each contestant picks their song from a list. On Rock Star, a list is given to the group. Each person picks one song from that list, regardless of weather they like it or not. It also seems to me that just for kicks, the producers might throw in a song or two that is intentionally designed to screw somebody.

I wonder how the contestants pick their song. Last year, everyone made a list and then there was some agreed-upon protocol for breaking ties. I wonder how it will go this year.

We'll also get to see if anyone has taken Lukas out behind the woodshed for a little come to Jesus meeting.

Super-hot über-MILF Brooke Burke comes out wearing a nightie and the band tells the singers that they went easy on them last week.

Then it's time for singing. Magni is up first singing "My Generation" and he's pretty good. It's a nice high-energy song, and he's pretty good. I'm sure Iceland is proud. The band seems to like him.

Next up is Jenny and she is singing "Tainted Love". She starts out by bringing it down and then comes on. I like the arrangment, even if her voice isn't big enough for the song in a couple of places.

Jill comes out in a wedding dress singing "Violet". Gilby starts out looking incredulous and the band looks pained at a couple of her notes. I don't know the song, so I can't comment on her version vs. the original. The band didn't care for her, but she was better than they said.

Is it just me or are Brooke's breasts as tall as Jill?

In the clean-up spot is Zayra singing "You Really Got Me". I'm not crazy about her vocals, but she's hawt and that will carry her for a few more weeks. It doesn't hurt that she is about to dance her way out of that top.

Chris sings "Take Me Out" a song I don't know and maybe that's good because he's not butchering a classic this week. Dave didn't like him, and he wasn't that bad either.

Singing "Ring of Fire" is Dilana and she's traded her Sith Lord look for Elvira Mode with the black cape instead of the hood. She's trying to show off her vocals, which wouldn't be so bad if the band weren't playing over so much.

Now it's time for our second commerical break. It's 9:21 and six people have already gone. I like how everyone seems to be getting a fair amount of singing time, without mindless banter, an un-settlingly long introduction to the show and excessive product placement. American Idol could learn from this, too.

Getting the "lucky" seven spot is Josh singing the craptastic Creed tune "With Arms Wide Open". Having heard him twice now, I have come to the conclusion that he is vocally weak. He doesn't have a "big" voice and that's going to hurt him because Gilby, James and Tommy are used to being in bands with big lead singers. They cut to a shot of Tommy and I think he was ready to whack him tonight.

Beginning the second half is Phil who was the weakest of the bottom 3 last week. He's better this week, but still not great. I think he'll be back in the bottom 3 again.

After getting the Pimp Spot last week, Storm is up singing some Cheap trick. She's got a good voice without having to resort to stunts (Zayra) or being over the top (Dilana).

In the Ten Spot is Patrice and she's playing guitar on "Heart Shaped Box", a song I absolutely hate. She hasn't changed my mind on the song, but she's not that bad, either. I like that she's just standing there on stange and not jumping and flopping around like some of the others. Her voice is better than the song.

Next up is the most polarising of the singers Lukas and he's singing Coldplay. He's doing the Chris Daughtry move; throwing his head back, glaring at the camera and shouting. I wasn't crazy about him last week, and he's not doing anything for me this week either. He's not as bad as I want him to be, but nor is he as good as the band says he is.

Ryan is next singing "Jumping Jack Flash". I'm meh. I just don't see him as the winner. He's not bad. He's not good. He's just there. He might be a surprise bottom 3 person because he's not very charasmatic.

Going 13th is country girl Dana singing "Born to Be Wild". Last week, she was singing in a register one key down from where she should have been. This week, she's in the right key and doesn't sound overwhelmed. She just put the others on notice that she came to play. Plus, she's funny, too.

Toby gets to go last singing The Killers. He's okay, but I'm not crazy about the song. He's good on stage even if the song isn't good for showing off his voice.

I have yet to do an analysis of how singing order affects results, but it's clear to me that this show is more committed to singing than American Idol. They have 14 songs at two minutes for 28 minutes of singing in a 60 minute show. By comparison, American Idol had 8 contestants and a minute and a half of singing for a total of 12 minutes.

That's almost half of the show devoted to singing on Rock Star and 1 in 5 minutes of singing on American Idol.

Also, was it just me or was the band particularly harsh this week? Not that honest, deserved criticism shouldn't be passed around, but after last week's love fest, it seemed like they had a lot of not-so-nice things to say about people they loved last week.

My picks for the bottom 3 are: Josh, Phil and Zayra.

But then again, who knows? The voters are fickle and I haven't quite figured them out.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Until next season

Now that American Idol, I'm putting the High Lord's Glossary on hold until next year. Then I'll get to come up with a whole new set of acronyms and nicknames for people. So here it is, the final itineration of the 2006 American Idol Glossary.

ABM - Abandoned by Mother girl, Kellie Pickler

Ace-curious - Otherwise straight guys who are entranced by the sheer hawt-ness of Ace Young

AFE - The Anthony Fedorov Effect. Since Tracheotomy-boy/Miracle Baby finished fourth by power-ballading (yes, it's now a verb) his way through the competition, other contestants have adopted the same tactic. Clay started it, but Anthony turned it into an art form.

AWG - Angry White Guy, Chris Daugherty

Bad Hair - Bucky Covington; seriously, man, get some product

BBG - Basketball Girl, Ayla Brown

Charlie Brown - Kevin Covais

Dead Man's Spot, The - Going first. This year, the person in the lead-off position has a 67% chance of being in the bottom 3 and a 33% chance of being eliminated.

DLS - Short for "Dances Like Spaz". Since Randy is going with Taylor's Indian Guides name (Silver Fox), I'm giving him one of my own.

Dr. Teeth - Gedeon, who loves to show off his pearly-whites; named after the Muppett

ell-E-ott - You have to say it in the E.T. voice. It's funnier when you're drunk.

Fall From Grace Week - Week 7 of the finals. It's the week when people who Fox has given lots of air-time to are seemingly abandoned by the producers and eliminated. This is the week Carmen Rasmussen, John Stevens, Constantine Maroulis and Kellie Pickler were all eliminated.

FRC - Faux-Rocker Constantine

Pimp Spot, The - Getting to go last. Over the past two seasons, the person going last has been bottom 3 exactly once (and even then, it was Anthony the week he finally got kicked off), so it generally means they're safe from Fox's manufactured drama that week. Often reserved for TCOs.

Private Pyle - Scott Savol because of his resemblance to the character from Full Metal Jacket (not Gomer), also known as Rasputin because it took so long to get rid of him.

Sergeant Hooks - Paris Bennett; named after the character from the Police Academy movies

TCO - The Chosen One, referring to Fox's tendencies to pick one or two contestants, give them massive amounts of face time and appear to favour them ahead of the others

VCM - Vocal Coach Mother girl, Katharine McPhee

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Let the Mind Games Begin

After one round of singing, one person from Rock Star: Supernova is getting whacked.

The show opens immediately following the performance show and after some initial joviality, Lukas starts messing with people. At least Jackass waited a couple of weeks before he started this crap.

He asks one of the other performers who she thinks will be in the bottom 3. He's clearly out to win, and while that's admirable, he is lining people up against him. I had wondered why the one guy said that he wouldn't mind punching Lukas out, and now I know why.

This will do three things for him: First of all, it will get into the other contestants's heads. Second, it separates him from the rest of the house. Do the others want to be around a guy like that? Will they gang up on him when the inevitable group project comes up? Will the band respond positively to a loner?

Third, and most importantly, it will immediately polarise the viewing audience. And since lining up a following is very important at this stage, he is stockpiling votes. If the viewership voted people off, this tactic would work against him. However, since the people who now despise him (like me) don't have any recourse, it doesn't matter. He's gotten some voters who will carry him.

After some comments from super-hot über-MILF Brooke Burke and some mindless banter with the band, Sith Lord gets the encore and then it's off to find out who's in the bottom 3.

First up is Chris, who did a terrible arrangement of "Roxanne". Next up is Phil, who is vocally the weakest person I remember from last night. Rounding out the bottom 3 is Matt who the band seemed to like, but I guess there are more people out there who hate "Yellow".

Now it's off to the singing. Chris, who isn't a bad singer (he just picked the wrong song to experiment with) turns in a good rendition of "L.A. Woman".

Phil, who did not have the voice for "Cult of Personality" tries a Switchfoot song that I don't know. He was weak.

Sporting a patch of red in his hair, Matt decides to bring it with Duran Duran's "Planet Earth". WTF!?!?!

The band, who is in the Randy Jackson "Song Choice" choir whacks Matt, even though Phil was (in my opinion) the weakest person to go. Chris had a bad performance night, but he did well tonight.

With that, the first person is elminated. I wonder if Tommy Lee is going to be the hatchetman all season like Peter was last year for our band, INXS.

I will be watching the behind-the-scenes stuff on the CBS website with an eye on Lukas. I wouldn't be surprised if he is found floating face down in the pool one day.

High Lord. Out.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Rock Star: Supernova

The show that is everything American Idol should have been is back. It's Rock Star: Supernova on CBS, featuring a contrived band made up of Tommy Lee, James Newstead and Gilby Clarke.

Back for more are Dave Navarro and Brooke Burke. Plus, the band's producer Butch Walker is sitting in with the band and giving feedback. Of all the judges, he's the one I would pay the most attention to; after all, he's going to be shaping the sound more than anyone else.

The show opens showing last year's winner Jackass touring with our band, INXS. Unfortunately, CBS has put it up against So You Think You Can Dance, but at least it's not on late at night, which was the show's problem last year.

Then it's on to the first performance from Storm which is allegedly her real name. She's singing "Pinball Wizard" by The Who. I'm not wild about it and she's got that look in her eyes; the one that suggests she's either really on her game or that she's psycho.

Next up is Ryan who shares the same name as a former American Idol contestant, but has different plumbing. He sings "Name" by Goo Goo Dolls and I think he's weak. He finishes strong, but I he's definitely bottom 3 material.

In the three-hole is Toby, who was so remarkable that I forgot what he sang. I'll look it up tomorrow. I do remember that he wasn't bad, but he wasn't good, either. EDIT: It was "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" and he did more of the Guns N' Roses version than the Bob Dylan arrangement.

Batting clean-up is Patricia who rocks the house with Jefferson Airplane's "Somebody to Love". She was good, definitely better than Storm. The thing she has going for her is that she sounds very polished, something Ryan and Toby did not.

Going fifth is the pride of Iceland, Magni singing "Satisfaction". He was okay. Not great; his voice is okay but he stage act isn't great.

In sixth place is Zayra who sings an Evanesence song (I forget the title) and radiates sex appeal. The song is okay, but she's going to be one who cruises by on her good looks rather than her actual talent (I'm projecting her to be this year's Ace).

Seventh up is Jenny singing "You Remind Me" by Nickelback. She doesn't have a big voice, but she's good. I don't know that she's right for a band with Tommy Lee in it, but if she could just get a contract, she could do well.

Turning the half-way point is Josh, who puts out a rendition of "She Talks to Angels" that is a little mush-mouthed, but okay. He looks a little like the Sherminator, but other than that, I like him. How old is he though? 15? If Supernova plays a club, do you think he'll get carded on the way in?

Now it's time for reformed real estate corporate suit is Matt singing "Yellow". I've never liked this song, so let's hope he can change my mind about it. Ptichy makes its first appearance of the night. I think he's bottom 3 material, too.

In the 10 spot is Dilana and she's singing a song I really can't stand, "Lithium". She scares me. Especially with the Sith Lord hood action she's got happening. Her voice is actually pretty good, but I don't think I can get past the thought that she would kill a chicken if it were thrown on stage. My wife says she has a slug sticking out of her chin.

Kicking off the final third of the show is Dana. She's the token small-town girl, and her intro piece makes her out to be the Rock Star version of Carrie Underwood. Unfortunately for Dana, she's taken on "I'm the Only One" and I think it's the wrong song for her. She spent too much time in the lower register, but I don't think the guys were paying attention to her voice. In my opinion, she's another bottom 3 candidate.

Next up is Phil singing "Cult of Personality". Phil is weak. His voice isn't as big as the song needs, and he looks kind of goofy on stage. My wife was watching So You Think You Can Dance so I didn't get to hear all of his performance or the band's comments, but it sounded like they were ripping him for song choice.

The lucky 13th performance is Jill with "Piece of My Heart". She's good on stage, but like Phil, her voice is weak.

Chris sings "Roxanne". The guys from the band have a look on their faces that says, "What the hell is that guy singing?" There's a lot of shouting, but not a lot of singing. He's another bottom 3 candidate.

Wrapping up the singing is scary-looking Lukas singing "Rebel Yell". It's a good thing he's Canadian, or I'd be worried about him being an axe-murderer. He's also a shouter, but the band seemed to like him. Not so much for me.

"The World" is now voting to send three people to the bottom 3 and then the band will eliminate one person tomorrow night. Unlike last year, when they had the "after the show" program on VH-1, this year, all the extra stuff is only available online. I'll check it out tomorrow while I'm at "work".

It's a shame that one person has to go after only a week, but there are clearly some performers who are weaker than others. Last year, our band INXS eliminated one person on the first show (before there was any voting) and if that had happened this year, based on tonight's performances, it would have been Chris.

My picks for the bottom 3: Chris, Dana, Matt

I'd like to have heard two different songs from each person before getting to the voting, but at least there aren't any audition shows for CBS to pimp some contestants at the expense of others.

We'll see how it goes tomorrow night.

We're multiplying

The High Lord's family expanded last weekend when my brother's wife gave birth to their son. This is my family's first grandchild, so I am very happy to report that my mother will no longer be pestering me to either adopt or start siring children.

His name is Jesson Douglas, but I have decided to call him "Vengeance" because this sweet little child will be my instrument to pay back every slight and wrong my brother ever visited up on me.

And here is one of the boy and his father.

I think for his next birthday, I'm going to buy him the noisiest Elmo toy I can find. Then when Jesson turns 3, I'm going to introduce him to squirt guns.

My moment of glory will be his 7th birthday when I will buy him a full drum set.

Oh, will my brother be sorry he ever threw that hammer at me!

By the way, both the baby and mom are doing fine (dad, too), although I have heard reports that he's not sleeping much. Heh, heh, heh . . .

Vital stats: 6 pounds, 7 ounces, 18 inches