Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I hate Fox

Yeah, I said it.


All year, Fox has Idol on Wednesday and Thursday, but for some reason, they moved the singing show to Tuesday for the finale performance show. Do they really want to mess with DWTS that much? What the eff?

Since I'm on vacation, I didn't get to see the show, but I'll bet it was just like Nashville Star, only with a bigger budget. I'll just have to watch it no-filler style on the DVR.

Have I mentioned that I hate Fox?

High Lord. Slayer of the White-Gloved Mouse. Out.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The short version

Since I'm protesting the length of "competition" shows, tonight you guys are getting the short recap as I watch the show no-filler style and pack for my vacation at the same time.

Last week, my results recap got scrubbed by the Blogger outage, so here's what I think about James's elimination: it's about damn time! I thought he was going to go home a week or two ago. I don't have anything against him personally, but I just didn't understand who was voting for this guy. His elimination surprised some people, but definitely wasn't a Daughtry-level shock. I think James's problem is that he wasn't picking up new voters and people were tired of him shrieking glory notes every week.

On to the show:

First up: Scotty with more country music. It's a good choice, if a very, very safe. Beyonce is effing hawt. I liked it, even though it wasn't anything we hadn't already seen.

Lauren also sings . . . wait for it . . . country! Like Scotty, I think she's sandbagging. After all, the two of them only have to outlive Haley's inevitable implosion and then this will be "Country Idol"

Next up is Haley, who I think right now will go home tomorrow because I think the country juggernaut is rolling over everyone. Of course, she's hung around this long despite repeated flirtation with the Bottom 3. Has a Zepplin song ever been on this show? So far this is the best of the night, if only because it wasn't a "safe" song selection.

Taking over for Clive Davis is Jimmy as the spinner of the Wheel of Death™.

Jimmy goes easy on Scotty and picks . . . wait for it . . . more country. It's also good, but not great. I wonder if Randy is going to criticise Scotty for poor song choice like he did to K-Mac on this same night.

Lauren gets more country from Jimmy, and it's not great either, but it's still good enough. Don't get me wrong; I like country music, but they have their own show. This show is supposed to pick the next great pop star, but it's done a remarkably poor job of it.

For Haley, Jimmy picks some Fleetwood Mac, which may signal her impending upset of one of the other two TCOs. I think she's made a strong charge towards the end of the series and could sneak into next week's finale.

The third round is the judges's pick and they also go all-country, all-the-time for Scotty. He has been the most consistent performer of the season and people either love him or they despise him. If he's eliminated, it's because all of James's voters went to Haley.

They softball Lauren, too, but I guess that's kind of their job. She's wearing a different prom dress this week. I don't dislike the performance, but I dislike this song. I give it a big aiiiiiiight. Randy, of course, has to name-drop.

The show is running short on time, but they still show Haley getting her AT&T text that she's singing the Dave Coulier song. Did you know that this was my psycho ex-girlfriend's favourite song. I guess that should have been a tip-off. I didn't think this was pimp-spot worthy, but at least it wasn't country.

The Good
Haley, "What Is and What Should Never Be"

The Bad
Haley, "Rhiannon"
Scotty, "Are You Going to Kiss Me Or Not?"
Haley, "You Oughta Know"
Lauren, "I Hope You Dance"
Scotty, "If She Believes In Me"
Scotty, "Amazed"
Lauren, "She's a Wild One"
Lauren, "If I Die Young"

The Ugly

Of the three, I think Haley will probably be going home. However, if she picked up all of James's voters, the person going home will be Lauren. Scotty has simply been handed too many votes to be eliminated.

Who should go home: Lauren
Who will go home: Haley.

Tomorrow, we'll hope that Blogger doesn't crap out on me again.

High Lord. Defender of Bree-land. Out.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

What's wrong with Idol? What's wrong with me?

Every year, people (myself included) invariably complain about Idol. Whether it's our favourite singer getting dumped or the voting not working out the way we like or even the crappy mentors they bring on the show. It always seems that somethings "wrong".

So what is it this year?

The judges are nicer than they've been, which is something I've been wanting every since Simon stopped offering refreshingly honest critiques and started phoning it in.

They've largely done away with the theme weeks that introduced an artist who is there solely to push their latest project.

So why am I less enthused about this year's crop of singers than I have been for a while?

I think part of it is that the show has become bland and predictable, just like DWTS. The singers are self-aware and rather than trying to win, they mostly try to be inoffensive. Despite the promises of a singing "competition", which I truly believe Idol was for about two seasons, it has become a blatant popularity contest, which is ruled by the texting powers of 12 year old girls.

Before I pile on Idol, let's talk about what they've done right:

The new judges panel is generally credible and has moved away from the caustic, attention-whoring quartet that occupied those seats before. I wish Ellen had stuck around because I think she would have fit in much better with J-Lo and Steven and she did when Simon was still on the panel. It seems that they show is trying to be more about the singers than entertaining Simon Cowell or providing a forum for he and Paula to "quarrel". Returning to the 3 person table dropped two points off the Meter O'Suckitude™.

The quality of the singing is generally better. Each year, I say it, and each year it's usually true: the field keeps getting deeper. The 10th singer would have been about 5th back in season 3. That's not to say the winner this year is necessarily better than say Kelly, Carrie or Rueben, but that the overall level of quality of the singers is higher.

The emphasis of the show is back on the music. For about four years, the show seemed to be more about the spectacle and less about the songs. I think this year, with Nigel returning as producer, the emphasis is back on the singers and the stage.

Of course, the show still has its problems, most of which should be very familiar to my eight faithful readers (plus my mom). I'll get to some of those later on.

For tonight's show, each of the kids is singing two songs, one which inspires them and the other from the Leiber and Stoller songbook.

Leading off is T/AG who is going to take a song with way too many glory notes and add some more. Maybe because this song seems to have received a lot of extra airplay lately, James comes off as more cheesy then inspirational. Plus, he was sharp for most of it. Have I mentioned that one of my roommates from college looked just like Journey's new lead singer, Arnel Pineda? In fact, I don't think I've ever seen Arnel and Blobbo in the same room . . . hmmmmmmmmm . . .

Haley is inspired by Michael Jackson and wouldn't you know it; it's not "Man in the Mirror"! Yay! That gets her points right there. Did they sack Jimmy because he gave such crappy advice to Haley and Jacob last week? I'm no Haley fan because her voice annoys me. Why does she get swaying back up singers sitting on the steps? J-Lo chastises her for crappy song selection. Randy follows along because she doesn't fit into the little box he wants to put her in. I didn't like it. I didn't hate it. Meh.

Can you believe Fox canceled "Breaking In"? WTF? The show was just getting good. Plus, it had plenty of nerd humour (last week's episode was centered around Comic Con). I hate that Fox will pull the plug on a good show after five episode just because it doesn't shoot out of the gate with as high a number as they'd like, but then they'll just replace it with something just as crappy, when maybe the first show would have done better if the word-of-mouth got around. Look at a show like The Big Bang Theory, which is probably the funniest sit-com on the air right now: if the Fox suits had followed their usual MO, it would have gone away after four weeks. If I were pitching a show, there's no way I'd ever take it to Fox because they'd cancel it without giving it a chance (Firefly, Fastlane, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, etc.).

OTP Scotty is next, and I'll bet he's inspired by a country song. His fiddle player is smokin' hawt. And he's singing about 9/11, in what I cynically believe to be a blatant move expressly designed to pander for votes. Whoever was in charge of lighting him needs to be fired. As a performance, it's actually pretty good. It's not a stretch for him vocally, but it plays to his strengths and lets him do what he does best. I think at this point, he would have to attack Lauren with a five pound sledgehammer on stage to not make it to the finale. Also, because he was sitting down and playing the guitar, we don't have to watch him hold the microphone like a burrito.

I can't believe that Ralph didn't get eliminated from DWTS last night. Obviously, there are way too many people voting for him. Let's just hope he doesn't do irreparable harm to his leg next week.

Landing in the Pimp Spot this week is Lauren, who is making up for missing prom by wearing a dress that probably cost more than Mrs. High Lord's wedding dress. I wish they'd bring Martina back to be the mentor again; she was one of the better ones. Where Scotty sounds the same every week, Lauren runs the gamut of country music and I like that. I think she's probably the best pure vocalist left, and I think there's a good chance that she could sneak into the finale. However, I think the judges are spot on when they say that she's holds herself back sometimes.

I think I'm developing a Pavlovian urge to punch someone every time Randy says "in it to win it."

The second round starts and Lady Gaga drops by to help the singers out. I watched her concert the other night on HBO and it wasn't half bad. Sure, she's very reminiscent of Madonna from back in the day, but I like that she seems to have Madonna's same single-minded dedication to success, rather than being all about the party, which is what some pop stars are about.

They do a shake up of the order and Haley is next. She's also dressed for prom, even though she's too old. She's very shouty, but that's her thing. It's much better than her first song. The performance part of it is also much better, but I think she's fighting against the current at this point in the season.

Scotty is up next and I don't know if he can be Gagafied. I think he'd probably be a funny guy after about four beers. The burrito is back, but I like that he's not afraid to embrace the Velveeta of the song he picked. I think this is him sandbagging.

If these are the songs of Leiber and Stoller, why are Gaga and Jimmy the mentors?

Lauren is next, meaning they're giving James the real Pimp Spot. She traded her prom dress for sparklies in her hair. She goes Elvis on us, and I think it's a good move. I like that Scotty and Lauren both are trying something other than easy ballad.

Wrapping up the show is T/AG and I'm sure he'll be shouting his way all the way into the finale. Have you figured out that he annoys me? Jimmy annoys me, too, just not as much. I think part of my problem with James is that like Scotty, he sounds basically the same every time he sings, and while that isn't necessarily bad, I just like Scotty better. It also doesn't help that he comes off as a less talented, derivative, not gay Adam Lambert wannabe. He's an energetic performer, but I'm not sure he deserves to be the American Idol. Of course, it would absolutely make the Vote for the Worst crowd's day if he won.

The Good
Lauren, "Do It Anyway"

The Bad
Scotty, "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning"
Lauren, "Trouble"
Haley, "I, Who Have Nothing"
James, "Love Potion #9"
Scotty, "Young Blood"
James, "Don't Stop Believing"
Haley, "Earth Song"

The Ugly

At this point, I think Scotty and James are shoo-ins to get to next week. Lauren will probably also make it because she had a strong night. I think Haley, will be eliminated tomorrow night, and that's probably the right call. Of course, we could also be in for a Daughtery-level shocker, too.

Let's assume for a second that James, Lauren and Scotty are next week's singers. Who will move on? James and Scotty were both handed a gazillion votes in the audition and Hollywood rounds with the massive face time they got. But are they picking up new voters? I don't think so.

I did an unofficial poll at my place of employment and no one there really likes either of the two guys who are left. They're kept around right now solely due to the power of 12 year old girls. I think Jacob and Casey's voters are going to Haley and Lauren.

That means that Lauren could be the silent assassin who sneaks into the finale, especially if she gets almost all of Haley's voters after tomorrow. I guess speculating about stuff like this is the fun of the show with four singers left.

Who should go home: Haley
Who will go home: Haley

I'm going to watch the last few episodes of Breaking In, then either send hate mail to Fox or try and level up my champion in the lone-lands.

High Lord. Grave Digger. Out.

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Idol must read my blog

Normally, at this point in the season, the show would be an hour long. But instead, they've taken my advice and have them singing duets in addition to their solo performances. Now, we just need them to introduce Screw Your Buddy Night™ . . .


I started the blog last night and then my computer crapped out on me. I definitely need to do a good, old-fashioned format>reinstall.

So I missed live blogging the show, but I will say that I think the person going home tonight (Thursday) will be Jacob. I had a shaky night and hasn't been handed a gazillion votes in the audition rounds (James, Lauren and Scotty) and he didn't get to sing last (Haley).

Anyway, that's the short version of the blog. Hopefully, I'll get around to reinstalling Windows on my laptop and I'll be okay for next week.

High Lord. Little Wonder. Out.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Results and lots of crap

I'll admit that I haven't been watching much of the results show. On top of being too long, it seems that they've brought in some extra filler, so I don't feel obligated to watch it all.

Seacrest tells us that we're going to be surprised by the results. He plays some games with the kids before finally revealing that the three people in danger are Casey, Jacob and Scotty. In taking a page from DWTS, they aren't necessarily the 3 lowest vote getters; only one of them was.

The obvious choice is for Jacob to be eliminated. He peaked early and had to sing first; he was my call to be eliminated after last night's performance show.

Casey could also be in danger. He was eliminated by voting once before, and could be again.

If Scotty were kicked off, I'd be a little surprised, but not really. He's been a OTP and like Chris Daughtry, he may not be picking up new voters and could be eliminated.

They're running low on time and Seacrest announces that Jacob is safe (and doesn't quite believe it himself), then he tells Casey that he's going home. Casey takes it well; he's been on borrowed time since he was the lowest vote getter once before.

He then sings himself off in his own way, getting lots of hugs from the girls and leaving some random guy hanging when he tries to go up top.

I don't think this is the wrong move, but I think Jacob would have been the correct choice to go home this week (with Casey getting eliminated next week). I wonder who is gong to pick up his voters now . . .

High Lord. Master of Forgotten Lore. Out.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Is it really Carole King night?

After last week's surprising (and encouraging) lack of "Georging", we're down to six singers. The show is 90 minutes tonight, which means there will be 9 minutes of singing and 81 minutes of filler. To get back to the crappy themes, tonight's theme is apparently the songs of Carole King. While I think her songs are good, how does that make these singers into contemporary artists? She hasn't released a studio album since 2001.

How is this really helping them? I'd even prefer the theme to be more like Glee and cover Lady Gaga or someone a little more current.

As we're waiting for the show, how about that NFL draft? Is there even a draft? All I've read about is the lockout and how the owners are crying about how poor they are. Plus, the commissioner was on the radio the other day telling us how the players are trying to end professional football as we know it.

Excuse me, Roger . . . last I checked, it was the owners who opted out of the current collective bargaining agreement, not the players. It seems to me that the owners are the greedy ones, not the players. If Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder think they got a crappy deal back in 2006, why did they sign the contract? Shouldn't they have walked away then? Or was Jerry too busy figuring out how to build his $1.2 billion monolith? Hey, if owners are so poor, where did he get $1.2 billion for that stadium? Oh, that's right: The taxpayers of Texas.

Sorry, guys, I really don't feel sorry for anyone in the NFL labour dispute, least of all the owners.

Now on to the show . . .

Did your TV screens just crack when FRC eye-boinked the camera?

In addition to saddling the singers with a catalog that's fifty years old, Idol brought in Babyface to help mentor the group. Isn't mentoring Jimmy's job? Why does he need and Babyface's help?

First up is GDM who is automatically my choice to go home this week, even before he sings a note on stage. On top of going in the dreaded Dead Man's Spot, I think he peaked too early, and that's a bad combination. As if his dance moves weren't already gay enough, he's wearing a really ugly blue/yellow shirt/vest combo under a hideous plaid jacket. Vocally, he's pretty good, but I think he's lost too much ground already. His performance seemed to get back some of the confidence I think he's lost over the past three or four weeks. Since half of the field will be in the bottom 3, I think he's in real danger of being eliminated this week.

This past weekend, I created a bunch of Free-to-Play LOTRO toons so I'd have enough members to fill out a kinship (that's a "guild" for you WoW players). I called it "Sauron Owes Me Money" just for laughs, and I'm not really interested in leading a kinship, I just want to be able to buy a house in three months for the extra storage and have a place to put all of my extra housing items. So if you're on Elendilmir and just need a place to park a toon or two, send me a tell either on Vraeden or Stealtharella.

For Lauren, Jimmy brings Miley Cyrus in to help boost her confidence. I didn't like Lauren at first, but I think she's grown as the season has progressed. She's got a lot of raw talent, and when the season started, I thought she was the most likely candidate for a Leah Labelle-like meltdown, but to her credit, she's handled everything very well. I wonder if they picked that guy out of the audience at random, or if they're otherwise involved.

Both of the singers so far tonight have been good. I know I've said this every year for the past two or three seasons, but the field this season is deep. Maybe not as good as say, season 5, but very strong nonetheless.

Wrapping up the first half of the show is a duet between alleged couple Haley and Casey. I guess this is why the show is an hour and a half. At least they extended the show for actual singing. They actually have a pretty good harmony together, and not just good in a Sonny and Cher way. Casey hams things up, and their "choreography" is appropriately cheezy. I actually liked it.

I am very unhappy that Obama gave out his long form birth certificate today to shut the "birthers" up. I was hoping that he's sit on it until midway through the next primary season so the Republicans could continue to show themselves to be catering to extreme fringe elements instead of actually being concerned with leading the country. As it is, the whole birth certificate thing has been nothing but a boon to the Democrats, so why did he release it now? Of course, this also makes The Donald the Republican's #1 candidate for the presidency, even though he historically will withdraw just before the election filing deadline.

Next up is Scotty who is going to countryfy "You've Got a Friend". Mrs. High Lord just threw up a little in her mouth. I work with a girl who despises him. Actually, despises him is the wrong word; she thinks he's on the wrong show, and I concur. If you look up "One Trick Pony" in the dictionary, you'll see his picture. I actually dislike this arrangement. He's got the wrong voice for this song. It doesn't help that not only does he have to live up to singing a Carole King song, he also cannot live up to the benchmark of James Taylor. Vocally, it's not bad, but nor is it flawless. He just can't fill the shoes.

Yesterday, filming started on the Avengers movie. Yay!!! Now I just wish they'd make an X-Men movie featuring Psylocke . . .

T/AG gets the random sit-down interview just so we can watch his facial twitches caused by the Tourette's and they can slide in some more product placement. How's he going to work his screech into this? I like the acappella opening. The arrangement works to his strengths. Unfortunately, he gets a little . . . well, a lot . . . shouty at the end, but otherwise, I was pleasantly surprised by James this week. It had a pleasant, nostalgic 50s sound to it.

The country pair of Lauren and Scotty is next. Is it just me or does he look like Alfred E. Newman? Since this is their third duet together, you'd expect them to match up well, but tonight their harmonies are off tonight. It was safe and inoffensive, but nothing particularly memorable.

Just an FYI: I will not be watching any of the royal wedding. My mother, however, has taken the day off from work and told us not to call her until the TV coverage is over unless someone is in the process of being transported to the hospital.

Who's the five year old girl sitting on Steven's lap?

Casey is next and he goes rogue on the pop sensibilities of the show. I liked, even if it was a vocal mess. It was fun and different, which is a good sign for him. I don't know that he's right to be "the" American Idol, though. If he were to win, I think he'd quicly flame out like Taylor Hicks. In fact, stylistically, they remind me a lot of one another. I think he's a very entertaining performer, but I don't see him being a traditional pop artist, which is what this show is supposed to find. I do, however, think that the tweenage girls could having him singing a CCS here in about a month.

The last solo performance is Haley, who is now, by virtue of her placement in the singing order, going to advance to the next round. I just noticed that Haley does her share of eye-boinking the camera. Not as much as FRC, but enough to be annoying. She is sharp in a couple of places, and her outfit is almost as short as another, past, Haley who used to sing on this show (not a complaint, mind you). I didn't think it was the best of the night, but it still wasn't great.

Wrapping up the show are Jacob and James, which is an odd pairing, almost like the Kris/Gokey pairing from a few years ago. At least one of them doesn't spend the entire song ignoring the other singer, showing that he's a ginormous tool like Gokey did. Their harmonies were off throughout the whole thing, but it could have been worse. I think Jacob was the big beneficiary because he had to sing first and we got to see him again just before the voting started.

The Good
Casey and Haley, "I Feel the Earth Move"

The Bad
James, "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow"
Lauren, "Where You Lead"
Haley, "Beautiful"
Casey, "That Old Sweet Roll"
Lauren and Scotty, "Up on the Roof"
Jacob, "Oh, No! Not My Baby"
Scotty, "You've Got a Friend"

The Ugly

Who should be in the bottom 3: Casey, Jacob Scotty
Who will be in the bottom 3: Haley, Jacob, Lauren

Who should go home: Scotty
Who will go home: Jacob

Right now, I think all six of the singers have strong fanbases, and at this point, it's a matter of fractions of a percentage that will divide the votes. Scotty and James got handed a gazillion votes early on. Casey had to be saved, but I think that galvanised his followers into powervoting over and over and over, plus I think he's pick up voters, where some other singers may be losing them.

That leaves Haley, Lauren and Jacob as the people possibly in danger. I think Lauren has picked up the voting blocs of the other girls who were voted off. I don't think Haley is going to win, but Jacob had to go first and he's been weak lately. That's my call, and I'm sticking to it.

By the way, go watch "Breaking In" tonight. Ted McGinley is guest starring.

High Lord. Slayer of the Nameless. Out.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

My least favourite night of the season

As we all know, the group of seven is my least favourite results show because that's when they inevitably "George" someone in a very classless move that for some reason has grown legs and kept running year after year after year.

This is when Seacrest puts six singers in two groups of three. He then tells the seventh person that they are safe and that he or she has to pick which group he or she thinks they belong in. George Huff bit on this and selected the group that included Fantasia, LaToya and J-Hud, eschewing a group that included JPL, Jasmine Trias and John Stevens. That was the night Jennifer Hudson was inexplicably eliminated and it ushered in six more years of that crap.

The only elimination move with less class was the way Judd Harris was eliminated back in season 4 after Seacrest told him to take a seat on the couch (but didn't tell him he was safe).

Of the seven singers left, Stefano is the weakest singer, but to his credit, he's stronger than the person who finished #5 in about five or six of the past seasons. Like the past three or four years, the field at this point is pretty deep. There's no obvious frontrunner, which keeps things interesting.

The big question is why are the girls all being eliminated early? And if you think this is an anomaly, last year four of the first five singers eliminated were girls, and three of the first five eliminated singers in season 8 were girls.

I think they have to do something about the voting to dilute the excessive influence of tweenage girls with unlimited text message plans, but whether Idol will do anything is still up in the air, much less what they will end up doing.

On to the show . . .

We start off with a couple of mini-group sings plus the obligatory Ford product placement ad.

Then, surprisingly, Seacrest goes straight to regular results and tells Casey he's safe and Jacob that he's in danger. I guess they're not going to George anyone tonight. Yea!!!!

It seems the show has picked up some class.

Is anyone watching Game of Thrones on HBO? The first episode was on the other night and it's done very well. Mrs. High Lord is reading the books and says they're pretty good, too. I think I might wait until the first season (10 episodes) are over before I try to get through the books. It has a high production value and even though it's "fantasy", it's not corny or cheesy, in very much the same mold as Battlestar Galactica.

Does anyone but me think that last night was kind of a bogus theme? Sure they were supposed to sing more contemporary songs, but several of them went back to 2000 (Born to Fly, and yes, 2000 is in the 20th Century, not the 21st) and 1983 ("Swinging"). Shouldn't they have to sing a song that was written in 2001 or after?

Mrs. High Lord and I were out at Lowe's tonight looking for a new shower to go in the downstairs bathroom. This is a prelude to her gutting and remodeling the upstairs bathroom. This also follows her replacing the kitchen faucet and sink. The guy I sit next to at work asked me what I had done to get suckered into all the work this is going to entail.

I told him that I was stocking up points for the day when I come home from work and tell Mrs. High Lord that I'm taking off for Comic-Con, PAX Prime, DragonCon or something similar (and that I'm going to be coming back with some Jedi robes, a Colonial Viper pilot's flight suit or a Starfleet TOS movie uniform). Or the day when a BMW 3-series coupe shows up in the driveway.

As the results plod along, Stefano and Haley are put into the bottom 3, and Seacrest promptly declares Haley safe.

Next up is Katy Perry, who looks like and extra from the new Green Lantern movie (and showing off the girls very nicely). This is a very weird performance. Maybe it would make more sense if I were drinking.

With about 6 minutes left, we get to find out who is going to be eliminated. I wouldn't be sorry to see either of these guys go because neither is good enough to win. Stefano is the weakest vocalist left and Jacob peaked too early. Neither was the beneficiary of tons of face time (Scotty, James) or was saved by the judges (Casey).

After just a little bit of suspense, Stefano is eliminated, which probably should have happened about two weeks ago. From his backstage footage, he seems like a fun guy. It's just too bad that he spent all of his on-stage time singing power ballads and being just another OTP.

That leaves six singers left, all of whom were the beneficiaries of early face time and who are all (with the exception of James) solid vocalists. The trick now is for the remaining singers to pick up the voters of the people who were just kicked off (Paul, Pia and now Stefao).

I think Scotty and James have a legion of fans who are powervoting their hearts out. I just don't know that they're gaining any traction among the now-unaligned voters. Haley and Lauren have consolidated blocs, plus they're not splitting votes as they were when there were five other girls still on the show.

The way I see it, Jacob and Casey are in play. Jacob is the one who is in most need of a strong performance next week. He's been in the bottom 3 a lot and I don't see him getting many new voters. Casey escaped elimination once, but I think he really has to do something to try and assassinate either Lauren or his rumoured main squeeze, Haley. Like Michael Lynche, he might find himself saved, but still only able to salvage a fourth or fifth place finish.

Next up are the songs of Carole King. What do you want to bet that Casey sings Jazzman?

High Lord. Clubber. Out.